Not wanting to spend NYE with a newborn?

[Justheretojudge]

Me and my DP decided to go to a NYE event our favourite bar/restaurant are doing this year. Another couple of friends said they want to come too, but are insisting they bring their month old baby with them.

Whilst I get it's their first christmas new year with their first child, and want to spend time with them, a busy bar/restaurant on New Year's Eve isn't really appropriate is it? It will be loud, noisy, late at night, cold later on full of drunk people. Surely this would be no fun for the child?

Allot of other young couples, groups of friends will be celebrating, and I'm sure they wouldn't really enjoy being forced to spend my NYE with a baby.

Yanbu. Most places licence will not allow children after a certain time. No exceptions made for babies.

As a former pub manager who worked more than a few NYEs, they are bloody fools if they think it's ok to have a baby in that type of environment on one of the busiest nights of the year.

Is this their first baby? Is it actually born yet? Are they completely mad?

They have no idea really how knackered & desperate for bed at 9pm they're going to be - shame

I wouldn't do this with a tiny baby as places do get pretty packed and rowdy nye here (Scotland hogmonay is of course HUGE here BUT lots of people have house parties, new parents eg will tend to have/go to a familiy party rather than a bar/restaurant).

I'm also thinking as baby isn't here yet - mum could go overdue, wouldn't wish it on them but there's also the possibility of a difficult birth or c-section or mum or baby being poorly afterwards and needing to stay in hospital/recover afterwards.

Also there's idealism vs reality most first time parents have no clue how they're going to feel about social events etc after baby is here. Your priorities change.

But in terms of op not just first but subsequent posts you seem to genuinely resent babies/young children. Not everyone has to be mad about them but I do find it odd to be this anti. Thinking back to being 23 yrs old myself some friends already had children, I was talking with then fiancé about us having children and my friends of a similar age were of similar mindset. Certainly none were put out by the idea that their friends being happy and starting to have families and the effect on the child free people's social lives! We all babysat each other's kids, the children were at the child friendly events regularly (including engagement parties and weddings) but maybe it's cultural/age? I'd never heard of child free weddings until quite recently and have never attended one.

Actually there was one friend of then fiancé who was anti kids but he was a dick in a lot of other ways too.

Coming from very child friendly family and friends I find this not wanting children to ever be seen idea very strange.

The baby is here and is two weeks old.

OP, if you've been planning this for a while then surely you knew that a baby would be around at the time. To say you just want it to be the four of you is a bit daft in the circumstances. You don't want to fit in around them by the look of it, they are trying to fit around you.

I think NYE is a very crowded time in pubs and clubs normally so not the best night to take a baby out on, if it was a private function then it would be less rammed and probably OK.

"ijustwannadance

Yanbu. Most places licence will not allow children after a certain time. No exceptions made for babies.

As a former pub manager who worked more than a few NYEs, they are bloody fools if they think it's ok to have a baby in that type of environment on one of the busiest nights of the year."

Good to hear your take on this. Some of us agree.

I went to Glastonbury with my then 4 week old. We had an awesome time. she spent the time strapped to my chest feeding off and on, and she had tiny little ear defenders for when we went to see bands etc. I think it very much depends on the venue for me.

Taking a month old baby to a NYE shindig is my idea of a nightmare. There is absolutely no way in hell I would have done that.

But, they are two weeks in with their new baby. I distinctively remember feeling like it was all sunshine and rainbows at that point, that I had everything sussed out, it all seemed so easy.....then it got hard, really bloody hard! My smugness was very short lived!

Give it another few weeks and see if they still feel the same way. I suspect their bubble may have burst by that point too

I'm wondering whether the op has exaggerated how busy and noisy the venue will be because she wants to hear she's right as she doesn't want the baby there.

Frankly if it were a place where "fights can quickly escalate" then I woildn't want to go, with or without a baby.......

Give said family a pair of baby ear defenders for Christmas.

It wouldn't be something I would do, but then I never liked New Year anyway and parenthood provided the ideal excuse never to have to go out on a forced jolly again - NO BABYSITTER!! It was bliss.

Sorry brain not working well tonight in terms of dates etc. Yes of course baby here already.

I agree they may be in post baby fog and not getting this may be a less than ideal environment for baby or for them to be comfortable as new parents.

But equally the venue may not be as described/assumed. Might be a nice family friendly restaurant with a bar rather than a bar/restaurant.

Why does every single little thing have to involve the kids these days? Can people not function without them?

If you have a young baby then you get a baby sitter if you want to be out for the evening. If that's not possible, due to bf or something, then you don't go out. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices when you become a parent.

When mine were tiny, I'd invite friends round for a drink. You adapt.

Bertrand you're missing the point - ANY place where people are likely to be drinking heavily is dangerous for a baby or child. People become unsteady on their feet, can fall into a buggy/moses basket/parent holding child in sling - not to mention spilled drinks, pushy crowds etc. I cannot believe you don't understand this - yet more evidence of your unsuitability to parent.

Besides all this, there's the other patrons to consider - if I'm out on a child-free night I do not wish to encounter other people's kids in what is universally considered (outside of MN at least!) to be an adult environment.

Well not everything has to involve children but they are a big part of (the cause of ) society.

U.K. Has a peculiar attitude to children anyway in my opinion. You go just about anywhere else in the world and it's completely normal to take children - even newborns to restaurants, bars, weddings, parties etc even quite late at night.

". I cannot believe you don't understand this - yet more evidence of your unsuitability to parent."

I have witnessed two fights. Neither of them in seedy rough bars. One was in London's west end. Started as an argument and one of the girls chucked a glass at another who ducked and it hit someone else.
Neither of the fights were contained in a small area as people move out of the vicinity and some people panic.

I like kids. I work with kids. They are, mainly, funny and engaging small people.

I still do not want to share a bar space with them if I have gone out for a drink after 8pm.

Depends on the baby, depends on the venue.

I went to a few parties and evenings in pubs when DS was tiny - at that age he was generally either asleep, or feeding, maybe having a little look around for a bit in between. I managed three course meals in nice restaurants with him tucked in the sling or feeding - whilst I happily held grown-up conversations. Wasn't unusual for me to spend a a fair few minutes chatting to people before they noticed the baby!

I wouldn't have taken him anywhere too loud or too raucous so it really depends on the venue.

To be fair whether or not the baby was physically there, the baby will inevitably 'change the dynamic' between you - as first time parents they are bound to be preoccupied with their new addition and they are bound to talk about him and how their lives have changed.

I've seen plenty of babies at weddings in crowded, noisy environments where, on occasion, fights have broken out and nearly everyone has been drinking all day rather than just the evening. If it is a place that serves food it sounds like more of a naice bar/restaurant rather than a local pub. And if the venue allows infants to be there it's none of the ops business. In fact op - since not many places do let children in after a certain time it may be rammed with young families. I would choose an adult only venue next time if it bothers you.

sits patiently waiting for mathanxiety to appear

U.K. Has a peculiar attitude to children anyway in my opinion. You go just about anywhere else in the world and it's completely normal to take children - even shock newborns to restaurants, bars, weddings, parties etc even quite late at night

I've been out socially in many countries, with and without children, and in none of them would it be normal to have a tiny baby in a bar on NYE. Family events in restaurants, yes. Weddings, yes. NOT pubs on NYE.

And lets not pretend that the UK is a civilized as most European countries when it comes to drinking, pubs and events. You don't see most Europeans puking and fighting in the streets like you see in the UK.

Don't understand why you care op? Their baby their choice. They won't want/need you to do anything so what's your problem?

Don't understand why you care op? Their baby their choice

Are the multiple people saying this just a bit thick, or really really bad company?

When I had ds(a late December baby) I fell asleep on Nye. Dh woke me up at midnight there is no way I would have wanted to be in a pub.
Also a very drunk person at a festival fell on to our buggy! Thank god I was holding dd.