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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not wanting to spend NYE with a newborn?

243 replies

Justheretojudge · 04/12/2016 12:17

Me and my DP decided to go to a NYE event our favourite bar/restaurant are doing this year. Another couple of friends said they want to come too, but are insisting they bring their month old baby with them.

Whilst I get it's their first christmas new year with their first child, and want to spend time with them, a busy bar/restaurant on New Year's Eve isn't really appropriate is it? It will be loud, noisy, late at night, cold later on full of drunk people. Surely this would be no fun for the child?

Allot of other young couples, groups of friends will be celebrating, and I'm sure they wouldn't really enjoy being forced to spend my NYE with a baby.

OP posts:

user1480182169 · 04/12/2016 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 04/12/2016 15:03

Why the hell are they taking a month old baby to a bar on NYE . I'm talking as someone who is quite chilled about taking my kids to the pub for tea then stating in until around 8/9pm or going to family weddings etc and staying until everyone is leaving. Surely any bars etc won't allow a baby in past 9/10 pm anyway. I'd be really shocked to see someone out on NYE in a bar where everyone is drunk and being rowdy. At a family/friends party, fair enough but out in town. Nope, its not right. I'm not saying you have to become shut ins when you have kids but you need to understand that things are gonna change. They should either get a sitter or make other plans

GeorgeTheThird · 04/12/2016 15:04

I'm pretty sure they won't show up in the end. I'd start making other plans, OP!

imjustheretojudge · 04/12/2016 15:05

I never said I hate kids! I'm 23 and quite frankly how many people in their early 20's do you all know like kids???? I don't think that's an unusual dislike for someone my age.

And I'm
On Mumsnet for the fact I was told by quite a few people
It was a great helper when they were dealing with big issues in their life ( bereavement, stress, work situations etc)

Maybe some of you are right for calling me selfish, but it's my NYE too. I don't want to spend it with a friend of mines baby.

N just to really put the cat amongst the pigeons.I'm engaged and having a 100% baby/child free wedding for the whole day! No exceptions! So if you really want somthing to chew on, have that!

ZoFloMoFo · 04/12/2016 15:06

I'm a mum, and I can't stand anyone else's kids. I'm with you OP, and the mumsnet police can fuck right off .

bloodyteenagers · 04/12/2016 15:06

So the op should go onto a non parenting site to ask questions about babies? How does that make sense?
Why does the op need to drop these friends, when like many others she doesn't want the dynamics changing.

user1480182169 · 04/12/2016 15:07

N just to really put the cat amongst the pigeons.I'm engaged and having a 100% baby/child free wedding for the whole day! No exceptions!

I'd love that! I have loads of children, any excuse to have a fun day without them is fine with me ;)

CaraAspen · 04/12/2016 15:10

Membership police and bugger off. Lol

bigbuttons · 04/12/2016 15:23

No way would I want to go to a bar where there was a new born.

NYE in a bar is not a place for anyone but adults.

whyohwhy000 · 04/12/2016 15:31

Is this even allowed? Our local pub/restaurant doesn't allow children in after 7pm because of the grown ups swearing at the football.

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 04/12/2016 16:46

I'm 25, so I'm still classing myself as early 20s...pushing it I know. I'm the pregnant with my third so wouldn't say I don't like kids

witsender · 04/12/2016 16:49

It is up to them, and won't affect you. I'd happily have a month old in a sling, leave if they get upset. Both of mine would have slept all evening at that age anyway. I'd be happy to seey friends tbh.

MoreBushThanMoss · 04/12/2016 16:49

Wow. OP... Can only hope you'll become more tolerant as you grow up. It's no big deal if you don't want/ like or enjoy kids.... But you're RIDICULOUS if you think you can debar them from all areas of your life. You'll end up very lonely one day as your mates with kids fuck you off one by one.

bloodyteenagers · 04/12/2016 17:19

How can having a baby not affect the op? Where does it say she wants to disbar them from all parts of her life?
She just wants a child free night in a bar/restaurant on nye. The parents are disbarring themselves assuming they will be allowed to be there gone midnight. The friends have changed the night not the op.
I'm going somewhere similar on nye and I would be fucked off if someone showed up with their baby or kids in general. I want to spend time with my mates not cooing over babies, talking about sleepless nights, bfing, colic and all the rest.

MoreBushThanMoss · 04/12/2016 17:21

And the child/baby free wedding...

XiCi · 04/12/2016 17:29

Most young couples with no children of their own have child free weddings don't they? I know that I did and all of my friends.

OP, just call the bar and confirm what time children are allowed until. It's probably 8pm. Then you can let your friends know so they can arrange a sitter or make other plans

witsender · 04/12/2016 17:30

I mean someone else having a baby with them doesn't impact on the OP having a good nye does it?

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 04/12/2016 17:30

Plenty of people choose a baby/child free wedding. It says nothing about their worth as a human being.

ChasingAPinkBall · 04/12/2016 17:46

Yanbu.
A baby there will totally change the dynamic of the evening. I have 2 kids of my own as do most of my friends and if this happened I'd be disappointed.
When kids are around the parents are naturally more distracted and it can be difficult to have a proper conversation.
I think you're going to have to come to terms with the fact it'll be a different evening to what you hoped for and that the parents might end up going home early.
I can totally see where you're coming from.

leaveittothediva · 04/12/2016 17:52

A bar/restaurant on new years eve with a baby in tow, that's hilarious. No proper establishment would allow it. (I hope). People get proper rowdy in most places new years eve, I wouldn't take the risk, and certainly wouldn't be interested going with a couple that would even want to do this. It's madness.

BertieBotts · 04/12/2016 17:53

They do need to check with the venue. It's not about the owners understanding, it's the law. Most places are not licensed for under 18s after a certain time, and babies are counted in that!

RebelandaStunner · 04/12/2016 17:57

YANBU.
Thinking about last year, I would say that NYE parties and the like don't mix that well with small dc.

Older dc no problem but I would find it quite irritating to be in a group with a baby or any small dc tbh. I wouldn't be doing any cooing that's for sure.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/12/2016 17:57

But surely if you're so insistent on going out for NYE , you get the grandparents involved for babysitting duty?

Errrrr Prehaps the grandparents are actually out or busy themselves!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/12/2016 18:03

Ooh its like playing mumsnet bingo

user1480182169 · 04/12/2016 18:05

It is up to them, and won't affect you. I'd happily have a month old in a sling

How does it not affect you if the people you are drinking/dining with up and leave in the middle?
If it doesn't affect you, you are really bad company.

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