Not wanting to spend NYE with a newborn?

[Justheretojudge]

Me and my DP decided to go to a NYE event our favourite bar/restaurant are doing this year. Another couple of friends said they want to come too, but are insisting they bring their month old baby with them.

Whilst I get it's their first christmas new year with their first child, and want to spend time with them, a busy bar/restaurant on New Year's Eve isn't really appropriate is it? It will be loud, noisy, late at night, cold later on full of drunk people. Surely this would be no fun for the child?

Allot of other young couples, groups of friends will be celebrating, and I'm sure they wouldn't really enjoy being forced to spend my NYE with a baby.

I think it's pretty obvious though that having a baby with you in a restaurant and having one with you in a bar on NYE are completely different situations

(sits back and waits for the 'in some countries they actually like children' line)

I think that one was a few posts ago Desolate

nye in a crowed bar are they mental?

forget about the noise they'll be shoved about its not pleaant even for adults sometimes

I think the type of bar matters quite a bit. The naices places I go to now would be fine. The sorts of places I frequented in my teens and early 20s not so much. Or at all.

It's selfish.

On the very rare occasions that I go out to an adult environment (not a family friendly pub) the last thing I want to hear is a baby crying. NYE is definitely not the time for taking a baby to a bar.

But I am presuming the parents are not stupid so will be able to make a decision that's right for them.

I'm not a fan of people bringing their children to stuff for adults but newborns don't count. Newborns don't demand attention from anyone other than their parents, they're small and their needs are basic.

My concerns would be for the welfare of the baby. Not myself as a grown woman having to compete with my friends for attention

It's not true that you can't drink when breastfeeding, there is a lot of research on it. Obviously she needs to be sober enough to care for the baby and shouldn't get hammered and won't be able to co sleep but can enjoy a couple of glasses of wine.

You can interact with the baby as much or as little as you please nobody will force you to fake being pleased it's there

I personally wouldn't take a newborn out to a bar on NYE but you say it's a restaurant/bar so I'm imagining it's not a rowdy nightclub. Newborns are pretty portable and quite easy at that age.

If you invite them of course they will want to bring a newborn they can't just leave it somewhere else for the night, especially as she's breastfeeding.

The only advice anyone will be able to give you is a) suck it up b) uninvite them or ask them to not bring baby or c) you go somewhere else

Like I've said before I'm not use to babies and have no experience around them, so I don't really know what newborns do, if they just sleep then great. I've only had negative experiences of babies (screaming the church down at my brothers wedding and no one doing anything about it)

I'm not jealous in anyway of this child, that's not what I meant to come across as, but as someone who agreed with me, babies do change the dynamic of an evening. Me my oh and this couple had been talking for weeks that we would go to this, have a good evening of celebration, food and drink etc. Me n my oh had envisioned the night just us 4.
But then the mother dropped the bombshell of "I can't wait for little teddy to experience his first NYE. It's going to be so exciting"

I did suggest to the couple, you might need to check with the venue about dc and they said "oh I'm sure it will be fine, the owners are new parents so they will understand"

The owners will not be bringing their children, I guarantee it!

I think you are looking at this the wrong way entirely. It is not your business where they choose to go with their baby, it is theirs. It IS your business where you choose to go with a baby.
You can't tell them not to bring their baby out, you can tell them that you don't want to go out with them if they are bringing the baby.

Your user name is very appropriate OP. Why are you on Mumsnet?

You realise if they don't bring the baby then they can't come at all, right? A breastfed month old baby can't really be left.

Let them know now that you don't want to see them for the next 18 years and be done with it. Doesn't sound like you'll be friends with them much longer anyway mind.

Your friends are made of stronger stuff than me - this will be my 4th NYE since becoming a parent, now with 2 DDs, and no way would I have had the energy to go "out out" on any of them, nor do I anticipate any different this year!

I didn't go to a family celebration in an evening when dd2 was that age mostly due to being pre-Vax - who wants to risk a tiny baby picking up a bug or worse from all those people in a smallish space?

Why shouldn't she be on Mumsnet?

Is it only for women who get all clucky over a newborn and want to cuddle it and bring it everywhere, even to NYE parties>

I don't think it is fair on other customers.People generally pay a lot for a NYE meal /party and probably paid a lot to have their own DC babysat.Children change the dynamic and feel of an event and I woul;d look upon the parents as selfish twats who think the world revolves around their PFB.
I doubt the venue will allow it anyway and the point wil be moot

Your user name is very appropriate OP. Why are you on Mumsnet?

Oh fuck off. You don't get to police who gets to be on MN. I suspect her username is a bit of fun, irony...you know? Or were you one step away from the classic "Why are you on MUMSnet if you're not a Mum"?

well it was a long time ago since my dc were that age, but i remember taking them to some very noisy restaurants and they would sleep through everything.

It's a good age to take them out with you I think - in a couple of months the baby won't be so sleepy.

I think they react to the stimulus by shutting down & sleeping.

However I would check if the bar allows it.

Exactly, user, mumsnet is also for people who are not parents.

Your last post doesn't sound good. They will be asked to leave and sounds like they will make a scene because the owners should understand.
Call the place and ask them about babies and nye then have the conversation with the other couple.

Anyway, the OP is right. The whole dynamic of the evening will change. Trying to have a conversation with someone who has a baby is quite tiresome for many reasons.

I think taking a baby to a pub on a general night and taking a baby on NYE are quite different. On NYE pubs are full yo max with people accidently bumping into each other, extremely liud places and not overly suitable for a baby. Just the chance that mum or dad could be pushed whilst holding the baby would put me off. But that is my opinion and others will think differently.

Sorry for typos! Liud was meant to be loud

I'm predicting a Daily Mail sad face story

"Kicked out of bar on NYE for breastfeeding"

when it was, in fact, because the bar has a clear policy that it doesn't allow children on the premises after a certain time.

I don't think posters should be on Mumsnet if they self admittedly hate kids and families and only post things to goad. There are other forums online. This one is specifically for parents and people supportive of them (not just parents!).

The OP needs to explicitly drop her friends now so they don't bother expending more energy on her tbh.

YANBU

although to be honest at that age the child is unlikely to be adversely affected. They don't have 'fun'. They eat and sleep (through almost anything). So I don't think there's anything which would affect the child in bringing it, but agree it is basically not appropriate for anyone else there, especially you!!