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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's shit I feel pressurised to wear a bra?

211 replies

Bambambini · 03/12/2016 23:31

Sitting watching telly, and I can feel the constriction of me wearing a bra. I have small boobs, why do I have to sit here wearing a bra? Why can't I go about my daily business bra free - without being judged!

OP posts:
user1480182169 · 04/12/2016 15:31

Even if you were judged for not wearing one at work, what has that got to do with you wearing one at home if you don't want to?
You are being very silly. Some people are obsessed with the idea that everyone is judging them, when in reality you're just not that important. No one cares.

PuppetInParadize · 04/12/2016 15:33

I have big boobs and go braless at home. Even with teenage son around. I do wear a baggy cardigan. I know a few small breasted women who go further afield with no bra. Do it if you want to, I say.

JenLindleyShitMom · 04/12/2016 15:35

Or are you all really naive enough to think nobody would notice or care if a woman didn't wear a bra

What impact does it have on my life if someone else has thoughts in their head about my breasts?

Userblahblahblahb · 04/12/2016 15:40

Its completely naive to think people don't care or judge women without a bra on.

I'm pretty much flat chested, if I go out in summer with a vest/tshirt on with no bra I get comments. I have pretty pokey nipples so its obvious i'm not wearing a bra. I've had conversations with male friends who think that women with obvious nipples are doing it on purpose. I've had the 'you could hang a hat on them luv' comments. I've had mates ask me if i've forgotten my bra. Of course people judge and notice.

There was a thread on here ages ago about a woman at a BBQ who didn't wear a bra and the other women were all pissed off about it and thought she was doing it for attention. I'm sure I didn't imagine that!

Pineappletastic · 04/12/2016 15:41

I haven't read the whole thing cos I got bored, but I got to the makeup comment and I have to say, I don't wear it, no one has ever commented, as far as I'm aware no one is taking about it behind my back, what would they say? I do wear a bra unless I'm slobbing around the house/ready for bed, because otherwise I have to hold them still if I walk too fast, it's uncomfortable. I don't shave my legs either unless I'm going out in a short skirt in summer, and I get changed in front of my coworkers every day, I don't think anyone has ever noticed! I shave under my arms because I find it uncomfortable otherwise.

Do what you want OP, no one cares.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 04/12/2016 15:43

I'm a perky d cup and have never even owned a bra, I can't recall anyone in the last 42 years giving a toss about what I did with my tits.

Don't shave my armpits either, similar lack of reaction.

Yoarchie · 04/12/2016 15:47

I don't really understand why your bra is so uncomfortable. There must be something wrong with the fit or fabric.

I wear a non wired t shirt bra with a bra extender in the back. It doesn't constrict my ribcage, it doesn't rub or pull and at this time of year it is actually great as it keeps my boobs warm and cosy.

I do think there is pressure to wear a bra. Because most people do, you will get stared at if you don't and it is obvious that you aren't wearing one. I do often go without, eg kf I wear a bodywarmer or coat on school run then nobody can see whether I have a bra on underneath. I don't "obviously" go without a bra.

ptumbi · 05/12/2016 07:40

well, surely the more women who go out without a bra, the fewer comments would be elicited?

People comment about all sorts of things - men topless, women with white stilettos, children with snotty noses.... who actually cares, an hour later?

ptumbi · 05/12/2016 07:41

And I notice the OP has finally got us to discuss the social obligations of what women wear - but she has disappeared.

BadKnee · 05/12/2016 07:50

YABU - no-one is judging you now. No-one will judge you if dress appropriately for the environment you are in. And unless they are important to you - why do you care?? If you slob along to Tesco in a tee-shirt and shorts without a bra no-one will give two F*s what you are wearing.

In a work situation there are dress codes - if that includes covering obvious nipples - so be it. It also includes covering pubes and huge balls.

YABU to think that except in professional situations anyone would bother looking at you in order to judge.

Anniegetyourgun · 05/12/2016 08:13

Wishing that someone else would control their chest is fair enough. Insisting that they do is not. I have seen some pretty ghastly fashion mistakes over the years (pretty certain I've committed some too) but would stand up to the death over their right to wear whatever they damn' well choose. I can't get over the poster who said a teenager criticised her in the street so she went back to wearing a bra. If a teenager commented on me I'd say something crushing such as "and your opinion matters to me - why?" How dare the little squirt express her unsolicited opinion on my appearance? She may be immaculately turned out but she has no manners. Being nice is preferable to looking nice. If you can manage both at once you've got it made.

Btw I think I last tried shaving in 1976. I'm not very hairy so there's practically nothing to shave anyway (apparently this is a sign of poor circulation rather than excessive femininity, dammit). Haven't bothered with makeup for a few years now, other than very special occasions such as job interviews and weddings. Always wear a bra though - bruised knees are not comfortable. Looks aren't a problem. I am not famous and am therefore unlikely to make it to the Daily Bastard sidebar any time soon. This thought does not upset me.

WyfOfBathe · 05/12/2016 10:48

Intrigued by this thread, I went out to dinner yesterday without a bra. Just wore vest, t-shirt and jumper. Nobody gave me a second glance, and looking in the mirror I couldn't really see the difference myself once I had my jumper on.

I suppose it might be different in the summer when clothes tend to be thinner anyway. But I don't think I'd care if people did notice - I'm generally quite hard to offend.

Going to go back to wearing a bra though - without I couldn't walk too fast or my boobs start aching

Fify · 05/12/2016 18:16

Hi... I stopped wearing a bra 14 years ago. I am happy with this decision as it was right for me. Women need to remind themselves that decisions about their bodies are up to them. Come on...this is a no brainer. Would a man be writing to dadsnet with a similar question? I doubt it!

Daydream007 · 05/12/2016 18:34

Small breasted ladies don't need bras all the time as you don't need the same support as the more well endowed lady! You are blessed with a petite pair, let them free!

Mindtrope · 05/12/2016 18:34

I agree with the majority.
I have large, mobile breasts, and wearing a bra is far more comfortable for me, running would be physically painful for me.
Even if I am at home alone I wear a bra for comfort.

ItsALLAboutMeMeMeMeME · 05/12/2016 18:46

This is just more of the made up drama some women use to claim victim status. All this whining about societal pressure/conditioning/expectation to conform is so bloody pathetic. We don't live in the Middle Ages, no one is forcing you to wear a bra/make up/pink/ have hair free legs it is not a law, no one is forcing you to do anything. No one is physically holding you down and wrestling you into a garment against your will - unless you're a violent insane person who may harm themselves or others. So some narrow minded or misogynistic persons might judge/comment/gossip/call the Daily Fail - AND? Why do you care? How the hell do we break down societal expectations if we keep complying with them when we don't have to?

MarvellousMonsters · 05/12/2016 19:02
  1. If your bra is constraining and uncomfortable it doesn't fit properly.
  1. I have massive knockers, I'm unaware of my bra (because it fits properly so it's not constraining or uncomfortable), it's the last thing I take off before I get into bed.
  1. I read the title as "I've got perky little tits and don't ever need a bra" and immediately was annoyed at the implied smugness.

YABU.

Dianella · 05/12/2016 19:37

I occasionally wear a bra now, at almost 70, but hate it. I hardly bought one for nearly forty years. Just wore camisoles for modesty and think if all the money I saved over the years!

Elendon · 05/12/2016 20:05

After three children, one of whom was breastfed for 16 months Hmm, I would love to have my gorgeous pre baby boobs back, no bra required.

I wear only non wired bras now, cannot bear those push up things and a support vest for the weekends and evenings. I love my 34DD boobs, they are me, but they are a lot bigger than my 34B.

YANBU. I too feel pressurised to wear a bra outside of home.

yeOldeTrout · 05/12/2016 20:28

I never noticed that C-Dimmock went bra-less. Is that why people perved at her? Ah... penny drops.

I love my bras. My brain doesn't function without one on. I am breaking out in a sweat at idea of going without.

choccywoccywoowah · 05/12/2016 20:41

I went for an interview the other day. In the literature about company policy, it stated: Undergarments MUST be worn in the dress policy. This is an office environment and is the biggest company in the world in its sector. So yes, some people are forced to wear a bra. Financial constraints may mean having to take the job.

Original poster
Bambambini · 05/12/2016 21:54

Jeez folks, sorry - had forgotten i started this - too much wine the other night. Don't drink and and post folks.

Also apologise about the dumfucks post - that was stupid.

OP posts:
StressedOne · 05/12/2016 23:37

First thing i do when i walk through the front door is whip off the bra -without taking my top off i might add! Hate the things, but I am a 36GG so no choice but to wear them when out. Wish i had smaller boobs and could just wear vest tops arrrggghhh!

EBearhug · 05/12/2016 23:49

Undergarments MUST be worn in the dress policy. This is an office environment and is the biggest company in the world in its sector. So yes, some people are forced to wear a bra.

Undergarments could mean a camisole or vest. Or corset even.

I wonder if anyone would comment at work, if I wore a corset... (It would probably mean I was wearing a dress as well, so they'didn't comment on that.)

Thebearsbunny · 06/12/2016 09:49

I no longer wear a bra at home, or if I go out and know I don't have to remove my coat or jacket (supermarket etc). Bra's are reserved for evenings out or the bedroom. For work etc I have discovered M&S lace cropped 'tops'. Extremely comfortable, very pretty and keep everything in place.

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