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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's shit I feel pressurised to wear a bra?

211 replies

Bambambini · 03/12/2016 23:31

Sitting watching telly, and I can feel the constriction of me wearing a bra. I have small boobs, why do I have to sit here wearing a bra? Why can't I go about my daily business bra free - without being judged!

OP posts:
CondensedMilkSarnies · 04/12/2016 10:28

I have never ever felt pressured by society /folk / colleagues or friends to wear a bra . Where are all these people putting pressure on you Op ? Confused

Sallystyle · 04/12/2016 10:36

I am small chested and go bra free.

No one has pressured me or said anything.

Hulababy · 04/12/2016 10:37

At home in an evening I rarely wear a bra. Comes off and PJs go on.

In the summer with little summer dresses etc I don't often wear a bra. I don't really need to and nothing shows through. I usually do it as it can be a pain to hide bra straps etc under shoe string straps and with strapless dresses - so easier. Never had anyone comment and never felt judged.

I do wear a bra under most clothes but not because I feel I must. More because I personally prefer to wear one as I feel it gives me a better shape under much of my dresses and tops. And I personally don't feel comfortable with having nipples showing through clothes.

I guess the latter could be seen as feeling I must conform and hide them. But TBH I don't really see it that way.

Katy07 · 04/12/2016 10:41

Can't stand being constrained (sensory issues), don't wear them. My tits, my choice. Grin

MinesaBottle · 04/12/2016 11:41

Hardly ever wear one, I'm small of boob. I wear a bralet in summer and a vest the rest of the time. If anyone's noticed they haven't said anything and it certainly doesn't bother me if someone else isn't wearing one. Your tits, your choice!

Reality16 · 04/12/2016 11:50

Think that some are missing the point not really. You do not have to wear a bra if you do not want to.

GladAllOver · 04/12/2016 11:55

I'm a pretty average size. The only time I ever wear a bra is a sports bra for support when exercising. I just feel more comfortable without.

As for nipples showing - WTF? Almost every woman and man on the planet has nipples. Why the need to hide them?

Spadequeen · 04/12/2016 12:00

Wtf? Wear a bra or don't, your choice but what pressure is there to conform to wear a bra?

PeterIanStaker · 04/12/2016 12:08

Every day at work I see all sorts of women in various states of undress. Most wear bras, lots don't.

I don't know why anybody would ever think there's pressure to wear one. My bra-wearing (or not, depending how I'm feeling) has never come up in conversation since I had to be taken to get my first bra.

DurhamDurham · 04/12/2016 12:12

Why would you sit at home moaning on Mumsnet about having to wear an uncomfortable bra? Take the damn thing off.

And don't be so aggressive when people don't agree with you, that'll be noticed and judged a lot more than not wearing a bra.

JenLindleyShitMom · 04/12/2016 12:48

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS OF YOU ARE JUDGED???

Do you have to quit your job? Move country? Live in a cave? What happens? Why are you so scared of being judged that you will wear uncomfortable fabric and wires and get angry at strangers on the internet?

klassykringle · 04/12/2016 12:58

... You presumably feel shit inside? And then have trouble keeping eye contact with that colleague in future or something?

Which isn't as dramatic as having to move country, but it's a bit silly to pretend none of us ever feel bad when we are judged for something, or feel bullied or looked down on for something.

formerbabe · 04/12/2016 13:05

You're not pressurised to wear a bra. Society dictates that you wear clothes that provide coverage for certain areas. So basically, it's fine not to wear a bra so long as your nipples are not on show. That's basic decency.

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 13:07

It's winter. No one can see nipples through thick jumpers... no need to wear a bra if you don't want!

iminshock · 04/12/2016 13:18

There is NO societal pressure to wear a bra. Don't be daft ! Grin

JenLindleyShitMom · 04/12/2016 13:42

... You presumably feel shit inside? And then have trouble keeping eye contact with that colleague in future or something?

Well that's if you even know you've been judged. It happens all the time and you haven't a clue. Why would you make an exception to feel shit about someone else's feelings just because you know about them? It's their business how they feel about you. Why give yourself the arse over how someone else chooses to judge the world?

klassykringle · 04/12/2016 14:27

Personally I don't notice others that much any more (and have never thought twice about bras), but some people clearly do.

I just think it's disingenuous to pretend no one should be affected by or notice or other people's judgement - that's the whole basis for society and how it functions (or perhaps, misfunctions?)

RichardBucket · 04/12/2016 14:53

Why are people being so obtuse? Or are you all really naive enough to think nobody would notice or care if a woman didn't wear a bra?

PaulDacresConscience · 04/12/2016 14:57

Or are you all really naive enough to think nobody would notice or care if a woman didn't wear a bra?

Why should I be concerned about that? If I don't want to wear a bra, I won't put the damn thing on. I don't give a shit if someone else wants to get all po-faced about it - what's it got to do with them? Is it stopping them from going about their business? Causing people to faint in the street after having an attack of the vapours? Do get a grip.

ptumbi · 04/12/2016 15:05

*Does anyone remember Charlie Dimmock on the gardening programmes?

Wear a bra!* - but why? She didn't want to or need to. The fact that people noticed was.... what? Disgusting? Made them purse their lips? What?

OP - if you think you are pressured to 'conform' it may be because you read those 'sidebar of shame'/Heat magazine type articles, where you are foul and disgusting if you sweat visibly, or have nipples, or hair somewhere, or even if you have unflattering shoes/hair/clothing. Stop buying Heat, stop reading the Daily Crap, stop judging other people yourself.

ptumbi · 04/12/2016 15:08

Wear a bra or don't. Wear knickers or don't. Honestly, you will not be falling foul of the 'decency laws' and really, hardly anyone would be able to tell.

And even fewer would care.

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 04/12/2016 15:16

I remember Charlie Dimmock. And I have to confess that I did wish that that woman would control her chest.

Blossomdeary · 04/12/2016 15:23

Well, I don't cave in - wear one when I want to and not when I don't.

I am at a total loss to understand why anyone who did not want to wear one might do so!

Bluntness100 · 04/12/2016 15:26

And I have to confess that I did wish that that woman would control her chest.

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 15:29

Why are people being so obtuse? Or are you all really naive enough to think nobody would notice or care if a woman didn't wear a bra

I have small boobs. I am wearing about to go outside for a quick walk in a t shirt, hoody and jacket.

There is no way anyone can tell if I'm wearing a bra or not!