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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's shit I feel pressurised to wear a bra?

211 replies

Bambambini · 03/12/2016 23:31

Sitting watching telly, and I can feel the constriction of me wearing a bra. I have small boobs, why do I have to sit here wearing a bra? Why can't I go about my daily business bra free - without being judged!

OP posts:
demonchilde · 04/12/2016 02:04

Does anyone remember Charlie Dimmock on the gardening programmes?

Wear a bra!

TheDowagerCuntess · 04/12/2016 04:35

I very much agree that women get judged for not shaving legs and arm pits.

But small-breasted women going braless? No-one would even notice. Confused

Larger-breasted women want to wear bras because it is more comfortable.

AmeliaJack · 04/12/2016 04:56

You need to stop reading tabloids/celeb magazines.

Julia Roberts may well have been judged by journalistic bottom feeders but I'm unaware because I don't choose to fund such rubbish.

I know several women who never (from my observation) wear bras. I've never discussed it with them, why would I?

Similarly I know women who don't shave. They don't seem down trodden by the weight of public opinion.

It's not uncommon to see women in films/TV without bras.

I always wear one but it's for comfort and because it gives a better line to my clothes.

You are right that most women wear bras, but that doesn't mean you have to any more that you have to wear make up, heels or dresses.

Choose your own path. IME people won't care or notice.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 04/12/2016 05:06

What a ridiculous thread! Literally no one gives a shit wether you wear a bra, don't wear a bra, shave or don't. Who would even know?! Confused

Do you go around checking to see if women are "conforming" then, because I know I certainly don't!

If you ask me, you sound quite judgy yourself OP, so you might want to work on that......

SlottedSpoon · 04/12/2016 05:35

If you don't need. A bra then don't wear one. I take mine off as soon as I am in for the afternoon/evening but there no way in a million ears I'd leave the house without one because A) I need the support and To go braless all day would be more uncomfortable than wearing it and B) it would look atrocious.

But small chested people can get away with stretchy camisoles and vests or even nothing at all providing their tops aren't too see through.and by all means go ahead with that too, if you have enough brass neck to not care if everyone can see your nipples.

Grindelwaldswand · 04/12/2016 05:38

Im barely a 30A cup and i don't wear a bra. I wear a vest or bandaeu at work under my clothes because im self conscious about my nipples sticking out if its cold, but yoi don't need to wear a bra unless you have massive boobs that need support

Thisjustinno · 04/12/2016 05:54

Nobody gives a shit about whether you're wearing a bra or not.

And you're a very rude person.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 04/12/2016 06:00

If I saw someone small chested not wearing a bra I wouldn't be surprised - lots of women do this.

If I see a large chested woman with boobs wobbling around (so either no bra or bad bra) I do think "ouch, I would find that uncomfortable, doesn't she?!", but no negative judgment of her.

I prefer wearing a bra when out as jiggling when walking is uncomfortable, but usually take it off when I get home.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 04/12/2016 06:01

Why would you wear a bra watching TV at home if you don't want to? I'm confused.

FV45 · 04/12/2016 06:03

I rarely wear a bra. I do for running so I am more comfortable but otherwise I go free.
As far as I know, no one has judged me - at least I seem to have many friends and lead a happy and fulfilling life. Have you actually tried going braless?

Bluntness100 · 04/12/2016 06:39

Jeez, I can't believe you called everyone a dumbfuck because they said do as you please. Or that you were sitting at home being uncomfy because uou felt you had to conform. So felt you actually had to sit in your own home wearing one.

I'm in my own home right now. I don't have a bra on. As of now, the bra police haven't come screeching to my door, the neighbours aren't forming a lynching party, my family appear not to be ridiculing me, and my friends don't want to disown me. No withering email from my boss yet enquiring about it either.

Think its ok. 😂

Scooby20 · 04/12/2016 06:55

What a bizarre thread.

Op I wear a bra. Because I have fairly large boobs. It's more comfortable to wear one.

But if yiu don't want to don't. I do believe women are judged for not shaving their legs or pits. Because I often don't . Quite frankly I don't give a shit if a person in the gym is giving me funny looks because my outs are hairy today.

If you really feel their is pressure to conform regarding your bra, it wont change unless people just start not doing it.

But I don't think this is about the bra. I think you are trying to get at something else while feeling superior over everyone who doesn't get what yiu are talking about.

Mindtrope · 04/12/2016 06:56

Are people saying that women wouldn't/don't get talked about/judged or ridiculed for not conforming - whether it's bras, shaving legs or armpits, applying make up etc?

That's so funny. Do you really think someone will judge me because I go to Tesco with no make up on?

OP are you a man?

7SunshineSeven7 · 04/12/2016 07:10

Scooby I'm in the same boat - if I ran down the stairs with no bra on my big boobs I'd have two black eyes Grin More comfortable to wear in the day for me but by the end and getting home I just whip it off or put a soft sports bra on.

I wouldn't be surprised by someone not wearing a bra either, especially with things like bralettes being so popular nowadays.

SoupDragon · 04/12/2016 07:12

Are you drunk, OP? I can't think of another reason why you'd be bleating about something that is entirely within your control and then being exceptionally rude when people reply.

TheoriginalLEM · 04/12/2016 07:16

don't want to wear a bra? more comfy without?

no brainer

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/12/2016 07:18

I'd like to go braless sometimes but my nipples are too sensitive. So the rub from the seatbelt out in the car drives me insane. Post baby, my boobs have grown and are no longer little pert things either.

Do what you want. My sil has massive boobs and doesn't wear a bra. She doesn't work either though.

Models they often go braless on the catwalk whilst sporting those all so wearable work numbers. It looks fine.

NavyandWhite · 04/12/2016 07:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bloopbleep · 04/12/2016 07:19

I'm a 36E and if I don't want to wear a bra, I don't. They're quite perky given size and age but even if they were at my knees I'd still let them swing free if the mood took me. To hell with what others think,particularly when in your own home watching tv. I also have hairy armpits a lot of the time too. Life is too short to worry what others think.

SoupDragon · 04/12/2016 07:23

She wants to go bra less but feel happy about it

That's her hang up, no one can change how she feels. She hasn't even had any comments when not wearing one.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 04/12/2016 07:27

bluntness 😂😂😂😂

thisisafakename · 04/12/2016 07:34

Hi OP, I do agree with you to an extent and I think many of the posters here are massively downplaying the reaction you would get if you didn't wear a bra or shave legs or armpits. You can ignore it or cite people you know who don't conform but at the end of the day, there would be judgement.

With bras, I wear them because I feel unsupported without one and like the physical feeling. Otherwise, I would feel like I was flopping everywhere. With leg shaving, I feel better with smooth legs. But I am sure that you are right and the reasons for feeling like that are that I have been indoctrinated.

Also, calling people dumbfucks is twattish, agree?

passingthrough1 · 04/12/2016 07:37

I've never felt pressure to wear one. I often do but not always, no big deal.

elodie2000 · 04/12/2016 07:37

OP: It's the expectation and the pressure and the ridicule - you dumbfucks - sorry dumbfolks.

Ok, let me spell it out to you OP...

  1. Nobody gives a damn whether you wear a bra or not. Your breasts are not that important to us, nobody is judging you because believe it or not, most people, including men, aren't even looking at you. They are going about their daily business and may not have even noticed you, let alone your braless breasts.

  2. Anyone who judges a person based on what they wear/don't wear is a moron. Are you really concerned about what they might think? Are you, in reality, one of the people who judge? If so, you are a moron too.

  3. You need to stop bitching at people on this thread, stop whining about how unfair it is that women have all these 'expectations' placed on them and go live your life the way you want.

  4. HTH

Clandestino · 04/12/2016 07:39

I can't remember last time I wore a bra. A month ago? Hate those things. I was lucky to buy two vests in Gap once which have a layer underneath that can firm up boobs. a bit. Much better than a bra.
I also have a pair of unwired M&S bras I wear in summer. Nobody forces you to wear a bra, it's all in your head.