Am I being AIBU to think my neighbour was rude to ask this?

[PO25]

Hi

I am guessing this might draw very polarising views but I just wanted to get your honest thoughts.

My neighbour just told my husband that our cooking is affecting them and to tone it down.

We are Malaysians so we do cook Malaysian food - where we do fry onions etc. We do a mix of western/asian etc in our meals every week. And we don't cook asian everyday - just no time!

We are professionals and live in a nice neighbourhood. Though this neighbour has been rude/unfriendly with us since we broached the subject of doing a basement three years ago. our house is small, so the proximity of my kitchen to my neighbours is close.

While we didn't go ahead with the basement, the relationship with our neighbour was cold since then.

I have two kids and live a busy life - so its not like I am spending all day in the kitchen.

I am really annoyed that there is a lack of tolerance. I grew up in Malaysia, where we respected and celebrated our cultural differences, especially with food!

I feel my neighbour is not being tolerant and rude. Maybe I am overreacting, but telling me not to cook something, is like telling me you can't be who you are. AIBU?

My question is how would you deal with this? If something was troubling you, and it could potentially be sensitive, how would you have broached this?

Up to you what you cook

I would ignore them and cook what you like. Maybe keep the windows closed while cooking but that's as far as I'd go!

I think your neighbour needs to get a grip. What you cook in your own home is up you fgs!

Just ignore the stupidity of your neighbour OP and carry on cooking your tasty meals

Your neighbour is being ridiculous! Ignore him. He's clearly got nothing better to worry about. Leave him to it and cook whatever you want in your own home.

Blatantly I would tell them to fuck off

YANBU.

What would they feel if you old them what they could and couldn't eat? Bliddy cheek!

It's my house and I'll be cooking whatever I want for my dinner. Goodbye.

The neighbour is unreasonable. There's no debate to be had. Ignore. You can't tip toe around someone who doesn't want to play nice.

Just ignore and carry on cooking exactly what you like, when you like.

Is there a spicy smell like with Indian cooking?

If so, tough, they should learn to enjoy it, after all , isn't curry our national dish?

Oh OP how could you cook in your own home

Just ignore and carry on cooking!

Where is your kitchen window in proximity to their house? It's irrelevant really am just wondering how they can smell your cooking so much.

YABU - cook what you like and ignore neighbour.

Carry on with your cooking - Malaysian food is yummy - take her some to try she might like it and start cooking it herself

Are you trying to hint they are in some way racist? People often have poor relations with their neighbours and it's simply personalities rather than anything else.

As for the cooking smells, have you considered the possibility that it may be going into their home? Because it can be unpleasant and that's nothing about the cuisine itself, simply some foods are pungent.

I think tolerance on both sides is required. You in terms of understanding any negative impacts you're having on them, and they understanding that you need to be able to cook what you want to eat.

Do you have an extractor hood? Something to neutralise the smells would be the answer.

I'm guessing it's got nothing to with the food really. Your neighbour is just racist.

Ok, so I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but I used to have Bangladeshi neighbours who seemed to be cooking all they every day and I found the smells of spices, fried onion etc. absolutely revolting.

I would never have dreamt to say a word to them about it, but I do sympathise with your neighbour.

I was relieved when mine moved, tbh.

Seriously it's Your home and you are entitled to cook what ever the hell you like.

Ignore them. The precious snowflakes with delicate noses will just have to deal with it

Cook what you like! I'm not Malaysian and fry onions all the time and would be most put out if told not to

Thanks guys this helps. I am sure his wife put him up to it.

Yesterday she threw my parcel through my back garden, even though she knew I was at home. I did not even indicate in the delivery note to send to neighbour because they are so WEIRD! But hey cant blame the postman.

I thought that was VERY rude..... but my husband said just let it go....!

Now if I could just MOVE OUT I would! But as we know it is not straightforward and will take time!......

I wouldn't necessarily call this racist though - some people are just petty feckers and if relations were poor to start with, it's just another opportunity to complain about something.

He sounds like a racist twunt :(

" I used to have Bangladeshi neighbours who seemed to be cooking all they every day "

yes but OP has already said that she is out all day, and so only cooks at certain times.
Frying onions is a perfectly normal cooking activity in all cultures, is it not?

Ignore them. Cook what you like in your own home (and invite me round, mmmm Malaysian food )

Where does your extractor vent out in relation to their house?

Hmm, I can understand that the smell of frying onions etc might be a bit overpowering for them. It's not to everyone's taste.
I don't think they are BU for asking you to tone it down. Also you would not BU to do as you please.

Ignore it! I love to smell my neighbours cooking we have an Indian family next door and the smell of their cooking is divine! Sounds like your neighbours have a problem with you in general. Just blank them and carry on.

I do have an extractor.

Haha I do get the point of cooking all day everyday, but I don't and thats the point. I work and so spend most of my day working and kids... I should add I dont like strong aromas so I am always cautious.

I only cook curry once in a while since my boys are not into it, so much so we have toned everything down for them.

Anyway thanks for both sides of the conversation.