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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being AIBU to think my neighbour was rude to ask this?

225 replies

PO25 · 03/12/2016 15:43

Hi

I am guessing this might draw very polarising views but I just wanted to get your honest thoughts.

My neighbour just told my husband that our cooking is affecting them and to tone it down.

We are Malaysians so we do cook Malaysian food - where we do fry onions etc. We do a mix of western/asian etc in our meals every week. And we don't cook asian everyday - just no time!

We are professionals and live in a nice neighbourhood. Though this neighbour has been rude/unfriendly with us since we broached the subject of doing a basement three years ago. our house is small, so the proximity of my kitchen to my neighbours is close.

While we didn't go ahead with the basement, the relationship with our neighbour was cold since then.

I have two kids and live a busy life - so its not like I am spending all day in the kitchen.

I am really annoyed that there is a lack of tolerance. I grew up in Malaysia, where we respected and celebrated our cultural differences, especially with food!

I feel my neighbour is not being tolerant and rude. Maybe I am overreacting, but telling me not to cook something, is like telling me you can't be who you are. AIBU?

My question is how would you deal with this? If something was troubling you, and it could potentially be sensitive, how would you have broached this?

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 03/12/2016 20:43

Though I support the OP I really don't understand the PPs creaming their panties about delicious smells wafting from their exotic neighbours' houses.

It's cooking. We all do it. If the aroma of egg and chips drifted into your houses would you be moved to rapture?

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 03/12/2016 20:44

Lol so true limited ^^

EggnoggAndMulledWine · 03/12/2016 20:45

The only time I smell my neighbour cooking is when I'm out the back and if they have their back door or window open.

It ever interferes with my life. I'd just say tough luck.

Ohdearducks · 03/12/2016 20:52

It's cooking. We all do it. If the aroma of egg and chips drifted into your houses would you be moved to rapture?

How can you compare the smell of egg and chips to exotic foods?Confused

limitedperiodonly · 03/12/2016 20:57

Because exotic foods aren't exotic to the people who habitually eat them Ohdearducks. They may be exotic to you, but to other people it's just the food they eat every day

Thinnestofthinice · 03/12/2016 21:12

Can you come and live next door to me please? As long as if you have any extra food going you bring some round Grin

She sounds like an ignorant, rude moaner - seriously take no notice.

bertsdinner · 03/12/2016 21:44

Sounds a bit strange to me. I can sometimes smell my neighbours cooking, they tend to have pizza or something very garlicky on a Saturday (always Saturday), I can smell it on my drive. It doesn't come into the house though or affect me at all.
Unless you are cooking absolutely massive industrial vats of really smelly food (as in food processing plant quantities), I can't see how this could possibly affect them/give them a reasonable reason to complain.

Itchyclit · 03/12/2016 21:50

Malaysian food is awesome & they are being twats. Start shitting in their garden, preferably right by an open window. See how they like that by comparison.

Tallulahoola · 03/12/2016 22:00

*Though I support the OP I really don't understand the PPs creaming their panties about delicious smells wafting from their exotic neighbours' houses.

It's cooking. We all do it. If the aroma of egg and chips drifted into your houses would you be moved to rapture?*

Because South-East Asian food smells of spices, and egg and chips smells of fat?

Loafingaround · 03/12/2016 22:32

The only time I (internally) object to neighbours cooking is when I'm starving, their cooking makes my tummy rumble and I have a mad urge to burst through the wall and tuck into the yummy smelling dinner they are cooking up. I suspect this is really what bothers them too OP, what utter idiots.

Solina · 03/12/2016 22:39

yanbu. I have never smelled anything my neighbours have cooked apart from one time when the neighbour in the opposite flat set a small fire in their kitchen and there was puff of smoke in my face when I opened our front door to the hall to evacuate the building.

I think they are just trying to cause trouble...

Agerbilatemycardigan · 03/12/2016 22:41

South

I once heard durian described as smelling like rotting flesh. I don't think it smells that bad, but it does look like a giant maggot.

SantaPleaseBringMeEwanMcGregor · 03/12/2016 23:08

I used to live in apartments that were very multi-cultural (university town and had thin walls and leaky doors, so you could hear noise and smell cooking. For a while, I had neighbors that cooked something that just smelled awful. For the better part of a year, they'd cook this thing that smelled like rubber and rancid chicken, usually at least two or three times a month, sometimes more. I refused to complain because I don't want to tell someone what they can eat! But I couldn't understand how anything that smelled that bad could be edible.

Long story short, meth. It was meth.

Your neighbor can deal with the occasional onions or close his fecking window.

jayisforjessica · 03/12/2016 23:33

my walk home from work is a gorgeous nasal tour of the world and the idea of all these families eating their dinners together fills me with joy.

You are the change I want to see in the world. What a beautiful thing to say! (I feel the same way about international cuisine smells btw!!)

Original poster
PO25 · 04/12/2016 07:39

@lorelei76 - My husband was friendly. He said he will look into it. He doesnt like confrontations etc, so always polite/neutral. To him its people that dont matter in his life so he is not going spend time on it. very matter of fact.

OP posts:
Original poster
PO25 · 04/12/2016 07:57

Thank you everyone for the lovely messages....I am so humbled at your kindness.

As for recipes, haha I think my cooking is OK.....not the best.....and I make really simple dishes....

my easy go to favourite : can be done in less than hour

noodles ( malaysian style) -

nasi goreng ( fried rice)
mixed vegetables

I will find a really good recipe website and post it here.....( which I think is authentic)

OP posts:
glueandstick · 04/12/2016 08:07

Next door to the inlaws is an Indian family who cook together a lot of the time.

It's terribly unreasonable

Because it smells so damn good. I've never smelled food so good. I'm forbidden from knocking on the door and asking if I can stay for dinner by my husband as apparently it is rude Hmm.

But my god it smells amazing.

glueandstick · 04/12/2016 08:09

It isn't just 'exotic' food though is it?

Walked past a house with a stew cooking that smelled bloody amazing too.

Some people just like food!

Happymumof3tobe · 04/12/2016 08:10

So my neighbours are english...and they attempt to cook Indian food ocassionaly. Well I'm guessing that what it is. And it smells awful! Even with our windows closed it creeps in but I've never said a word and just keep the doors to the rooms with windows closest to them closed as they obviously like it so leave them to it. We don't cook English food at all apart from a weekly roast dinner and no one has mentioned our cooking..... some people are just rude OP. Ignore them and happy cooking and eating

PossumInAPearTree · 04/12/2016 09:04

Lurking for the NASi gorang recipe!

neighbourhoodwitch · 04/12/2016 09:08

So rude. I am sorry this has happened.

Lola216 · 04/12/2016 09:14

Cook what you want when you want, it's your house OP. Flowers

scottishdiem · 04/12/2016 10:49

I say cook more. Its your house and your kitchen. I think the neighbours are being petty.

Foslady · 04/12/2016 11:20

Brought back memories of my favourite Coronation Street scene. Raquel and Curly had invited Des and Steph over for dinner (old gimmer here!)
Steph: what are we eating Raquel?
Raquel: it's chicken in white wine sauce
Steph: oh, it's just I can't smell anything
Raquel: no, that's the beauty of boil in the bag!

Jaxhog · 04/12/2016 13:52

I'd keep my windows closed when cooking pungent things like onions. Whether you like it or not, this can be pretty annoying. Seems the neighbourly thing to do.

You could also invite them over for dinner, so they can experience your Malaysian cooking for themselves. It might also help towards better relations.

It's all very well to criticise them for being bad neighbours, but unless you want a miserable future, you will have to stop moaning and take the first step.