Am I being AIBU to think my neighbour was rude to ask this?

[PO25]

Hi

I am guessing this might draw very polarising views but I just wanted to get your honest thoughts.

My neighbour just told my husband that our cooking is affecting them and to tone it down.

We are Malaysians so we do cook Malaysian food - where we do fry onions etc. We do a mix of western/asian etc in our meals every week. And we don't cook asian everyday - just no time!

We are professionals and live in a nice neighbourhood. Though this neighbour has been rude/unfriendly with us since we broached the subject of doing a basement three years ago. our house is small, so the proximity of my kitchen to my neighbours is close.

While we didn't go ahead with the basement, the relationship with our neighbour was cold since then.

I have two kids and live a busy life - so its not like I am spending all day in the kitchen.

I am really annoyed that there is a lack of tolerance. I grew up in Malaysia, where we respected and celebrated our cultural differences, especially with food!

I feel my neighbour is not being tolerant and rude. Maybe I am overreacting, but telling me not to cook something, is like telling me you can't be who you are. AIBU?

My question is how would you deal with this? If something was troubling you, and it could potentially be sensitive, how would you have broached this?

OP is clearly not being unreasonable.

WFL46 is vile.

WLF with respect, that is a ridiculous analogy. Doing that to a Muslim would be openly antagonistic but can you please explain to me on what religious grounds the OP's neighbour doesn't want her cooking Malaysian food?

There is a world of difference between "this goes against my entire cultural and religious beliefs" and "I don't like the smell".

I'm sure it smells lovely. I'd have no problem with it.

However we had neighbours who would cook offal frequently very early in the morning - the smell of boiling kidneys when I got up used to turn my stomach (they were in the flat below) and the fishy stuff they fried was really horrible. This was the least un-neighbourly activities though. So glad when they left!

WLF that is possibly one of the most cretinous posts I have ever read.

Your post seems idiotic WLF46

I'm disturbed by the smell coming from WLF46's post

WLF46 Are you actually saying that there should be an English Breakfast free radius surrounding mosques in the UK??

I think WLF is a gf

All day, all I've seen is them post the most shite

Whats a gf?

I like the smell of bacon and I'm veggie.

Malaysian food can be incredibly strong smelling and pungent.
...
But your neighbour needs to put up with it silently or move out himself!

We used to have Nigerian neighbours and the smell of their cooking was VERY strong and not to my taste. I would never have mentioned it, though, and we are probably quite bad as well with DH's Latin American stuff.

Goady fucker

Cook what you want, when you want - wtf is wrong with some people? Ugh tell them to get nose clips/scented candles/air fresheners and mind their own bloody business ..... bet you make some yummy meals

When one of my neighbours smelled me cooking Malay food (Malaysian MiL), she just brought a bowl round. Don't take any notice. I suspect that even if you were cooking fish and chips they'd moan about it. Let them keep on eating their sour grapes.

So unbelievably ruse and unreasonable of your neighbour.

If you lived near me I would probably knock on to find out what smelt so nice (and hope you invited me in!).

I worked in a Thai restaurant for years (I'm Irish) and DH loves Indian food! Ours was usually the smelly flat on our floor!! Our neighbours were Chinese and Iranian so thankfully never bothered! Now we're in a house I hope I'm not bothering the neighbors!! Your neighbors sound horrible

Your neighbour can't dictate what you cook and eat. It is unbelievably rude of them to even mention it to you. Don't give in - not even an inch.

I really do not understand why the neigbour is being given such a hard time here.

Surely endless threads on MN about neighbour disputes have always encouraged talking to each other, isn't that what the neighbour has been doing?

I've never eaten Malaysian food before, but I'm going to try it now, a quick google tells me it will probably be delicious!
Unless you are roasting pensioners or chopping up passing children, then what you cook is your own business. I can never smell my neighbours' cooking now because I live in the middle of a field and so do they, but before I came here it was just expected that cooking happens and sometimes it smells.
I don't think this is about the cooking anyway. Your neighbour has just seized upon the first idea that presented itself and it could just as easily have been your parking habits or anything else that caused a "problem". Giving in to this will make absolutely sure that there is another problem really soon afterwards.

Malay food......mmmmm

Damn shame you don't live near me OP. I'd have been buttering you up for months passing you the cream of my allotment crop as 'spare' in the hope I'd get a meal invite at some point. :)

I find some cooking smells rank and that includes fried onions curry. I love eating them but not the smell of them cooking. I would hate to live next to a restaurant.

However, I don't think you can tell your neighbours what they can and can't cook unless they are being exceptionally unreasonable. We BBQ year round and I'm aware that while I am subjecting my neighbours to the smell and whilst I take steps such as cooking at a high heat to reduce the smell but I still do it.
One of the reasons I love to BBQ is that it keeps the cooking smells out of my house

Can I PM you with where I would love you to move to? I absolutely love the smell of neighbours frying onions and spices.

I had excellent neighbours in London a few years back. It was hard not to knock on their door and beg for an invite. I just opened my windows and let the smells drift in.

YANBU, except if you refuse to move

Pfffftttt!!

Durian doesn't smell like vomit. It smells like a gas leak to the point British Gas has been called out 😂

For everyone suggesting the smell might get in through an open window or air vent - my neighbour cooks Indian food and the smell comes through the walls (we live in a terraced house). It's particularly strong in the cupboard under the stairs and the airing cupboard. But a) I think it smells delicious and b) even if I didn't I wouldn't dream of complaining because I'm not a dick.

Have you thought about taking some food round as a gift? It would wrong-foot them. There's a tiny possibility it might make him feel bad and so improve relations between you. Though I'd enjoy it just for the awkwardness

I personally think your neighbour is not only a racist, but views you as pushovers too. I personally would step up the torment on my side. Start amping up the fish pastes OP with all doors wide open, and refuse to take parcels for them. Basically stop giving an f and make their lives a misery is what I'm saying.