Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that they are charging me too much?

200 replies

olderthanyouthink · 03/12/2016 15:07

How much do/would you charge adult children to live at home?

In the "The reason young people can't afford to buy houses" thread the topic of parents allowing adult children to live at home to enable them to save up quicker/easier.

My own parents have started charging me £300 to live at home, I think thats too much. Mum actually said to me that I "shouldn't be getting rich living with them for free". £300 is more than half of what I was putting in savings and I've told them before how much was putting away (£500 + what's left at the end of the month).

I wouldn't call saving so I could move out, with a financial safety net, "getting rich".

More info for perspective:

  • I've out of the house for nearly 14 hours per day minimum, five days a week so hardly running up heating & electricity all day.
  • I eat breakfast and lunch out of the house on weekdays and maybe two thirds of my dinners at home (half the time sorting something out for myself because of long commute)
  • We used to live in london but they moved us all out to the seaside so now commuting to work costs me £600/ month.
  • My income is £1500/ month.

Who's being unreasonable?

OP posts:
JennyOnAPlate · 03/12/2016 15:09

Is that £300 a month? Bills and food included? You'd be paying a lot more than that if you were renting privately.

Mamabear14 · 03/12/2016 15:10

Personally I don't think £300 is much in way of percentage of your wage. When I was 16 earning £100 a week I had to pay 1/3 to my parents. Same when I briefly lived with them working full time. It was always 1/3.

AdmiralCissyMary · 03/12/2016 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Abbygolightly · 03/12/2016 15:14

I would look at rental costs for places closer to your work and calculate a budget of what you would expect to pay, including utilities, commuting, food, etc. and see if it is much more than the 900 you are paying now.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 03/12/2016 15:15

I think its a lot.

We may start asking our DS for a contribution at some stage, but not that amount.

MadHattersWineParty · 03/12/2016 15:15

Hmm, that's less than a £100 a week in text/bills though, and you sound a little resentful that they 'moved you all out to the the seaside' instead of remaining in London (which would have saved you a lot of money in commuting costs) it's your choice to go on living with them though. Maybe it's time to consider a house-share and move back to London.

Branleuse · 03/12/2016 15:15

I think thats fairly reasonable for room and full board

MadHattersWineParty · 03/12/2016 15:15

Rent not text. Bloody auto-correct.

Allthewaves · 03/12/2016 15:15

Always worked on rule of thirds living at home 1/3 for savings, 1/3 for own costs, 1/3 for bills.

Why is your commute costing £600 a month. That seems very high

FizzBombBathTime · 03/12/2016 15:17

You will get flamed, but your parents aren't going to 'get rid' of you any quicker if they take all your money.

When my kids are grown I will just charge them a little bit towards bills. As long as we can still afford to do that when the day comes.

Are you buying your own food shopping?

FishSauce555 · 03/12/2016 15:18

Move out then?

I'd love to save that amount.

jerryfudd · 03/12/2016 15:18

20 years ago I was paying £250 a month and earning less than you.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 03/12/2016 15:19

I think £300 out of take home pay of £1500 is very reasonable.

See if you can find a flat share closer to work? You will save on commuting costs but pay a lot more or rent and bills!

So try to be grateful.

SaucyJack · 03/12/2016 15:20

£75 seems very affordable to me.

How old are you? I don't think it's a parent's job to subsidise their child's living expenses past a certain age.

Hellmouth · 03/12/2016 15:20

Allthewaves she already said why, she's commuting into London from the seaside. That will cost £600.

OP, maybe you should work out a budget and see if you can move. I was renting a 2 bed flat with my sister in London zone 5 recently. The rent and bills were about 650. My travel card was 210. It's worth it for a shorter commute

SaucyJack · 03/12/2016 15:21

*£75 a week

Original poster
olderthanyouthink · 03/12/2016 15:23

JennyOnAPlate If I were renting privately I would have a contract, rights etc. A landlord can't tell me what to do with my live and come into my room and go through my things when they please.

AdmiralCissyMary & Abbygolightly I plan to move out, I needed to save up for deposits and backup money.

MadHattersWineParty Yeah I am Sad I hate it here and 5+ hours on a train everyday is crap

Allthewaves Train companies are arseholes, thats why.

OP posts:
SheSaidNoFuckThat · 03/12/2016 15:24

Christ I paid £10 a week when I was earning £35 doing my apprenticeship, think you've got a good deal tbh

Arriettyborrower · 03/12/2016 15:25

My 23 DS is moving home to save to buy, he was hardly here before he moved out 2 years ago so we didn't notice any financial impact when he left. I expect it to be the same this time around so we won't be asking for anything, he will most likely cook for himself a lot of the time and he will hardly be here. It makes no odds to us, we want him to be able to move out again asap!

Do you think your parents need the money?

My other DS gives me £150 a month, again he doesn't really impact on household costs and does all his own washing and cleaning. I am saving his money for him to get him out too eventually!

Soubriquet · 03/12/2016 15:25

Why don't you have a look at flat shares where you work?

Might be a bit more a month but no where near the £600 commute costs

SmilingButClueless · 03/12/2016 15:26

I don't think £300/month is excessive by itself, but it is a lot when you add rent and commute together (I assume you got your job while you were still living in London?).

Do your parents know how much the commute costs? Because that's a huge proportion of your salary that the move has "forced" on you.

So I think it's slightly mean of your parents, unless they desperately need the money. The cost to them of having you there is probably less than £300 per month, and it's not as though you'll be living the high life on the amount you have left.

torroloco · 03/12/2016 15:27

OP you have it easy- honestly.

I pay £450 rent- £50 of that is my rent arrears as I got myself into a bit of bother when i first moved out. I live in a seni decent area but if I moved tomorrow and paid the same id be very lucky if I found somewhere for the same amount without living in a "rough" area- and I live in the North.
I then have £80 council tax (I get a reduction as I live alone)
I have gas and electricity meters- at least £30 on my gas and £20 on my electric a month at the moment and im out of the house 10 hours a day. I have a bath and shower daily and have the heating on for max 2 hrs a night.
Then I have food- £25/30 a week. Then another £10/15 a month for things like toilet roll, cleaning stuff etc
Broadband/phone comes to £40 a month (incls my mobile)
And I earn less than you- £1200 a month and have a car to pay for as well, plus debts before I even think about buying clothes, night out etc. I will be lucky this month with it being Christmas if I have any spare cash to myself

Your parents are right OP- you shouldnt get rich living at home for free. My parents allowed me to do it so when i moved out and still wanted to sustain my lifestyle I didnt pay my rent, spent on credit cards and have £5k worth of debt and my credit rating is abysmal

Stop being a princess and live in reality

bibbitybobbityyhat · 03/12/2016 15:27

Op - it really is time to move out and grow tf up I think! And I mean that in a caring way.

MadHattersWineParty · 03/12/2016 15:28

I don't think the issue is totally all about the money though is it? You sound fed up living with your parents and it was probably an easier pill to swallow when they weren't charging you. Now they are (and I think it's fair enough on their part if you're an adult with a full-time wage) maybe it's time to have a big rethink.

Misselthwaite · 03/12/2016 15:28

20 years ago I paid about £160 a month for a house share, not including food or bills. Plus it was a total dump of a house. If you can find somewhere better value move out! Your parents are in my opinion not being unreasonable.