To think that they are charging me too much?

[olderthanyouthink]

How much do/would you charge adult children to live at home?

In the "The reason young people can't afford to buy houses" thread the topic of parents allowing adult children to live at home to enable them to save up quicker/easier.

My own parents have started charging me £300 to live at home, I think thats too much. Mum actually said to me that I "shouldn't be getting rich living with them for free". £300 is more than half of what I was putting in savings and I've told them before how much was putting away (£500 + what's left at the end of the month).

I wouldn't call saving so I could move out, with a financial safety net, "getting rich".

More info for perspective:

• I've out of the house for nearly 14 hours per day minimum, five days a week so hardly running up heating & electricity all day.
• I eat breakfast and lunch out of the house on weekdays and maybe two thirds of my dinners at home (half the time sorting something out for myself because of long commute)
• We used to live in london but they moved us all out to the seaside so now commuting to work costs me £600/ month.
• My income is £1500/ month.

Who's being unreasonable?

"Hi, I am Brenda, I work in Marketing/nursing/bookshop, and looking to find a new flatshare near my work place in WC1. I am quiet and easygoing, tidy and like to read or go to the cinema in my spare time

You could add, "My hobbies are praying and knitting."

Thanks for clarifying the savings issue

In that case, I really would suggest you move out to a room in a flatshare nearer work which would cut down on your commuting costs and in the long run would probably help make things more harmonious at home. Re your brother, whilst he isn't your problem as a parent I can understand that they want him to be cared for by someone they can trust - but it would perhaps be a good idea to make an appointment with Citizens Advice to see what your options are.

I am sure she could and prayer and knitting to that!

I think I got my appoint across though! Just wanted to contrast two different characteristics as I see so many ads on spareroom which clearly have been put together in great haste without thought to have they come across!

I should add, mostly lodger contracts on spare room give a short notice period, of about a week, and deposit reflects this so is often just 2 weeks rent.

You were spot on Quint - no point in moving into somewhere with flatmates who have very different lifestyles. It may very well be that praying and knitting are exactly what the OP wants to do - nothing wrong with that.

'I'm not opposed to paying what it costs them to have me here but I am opposed to them making a "profit".'

Oh, okay, but it's okay for your LL to, though. If you weren't there, they could rent the room out to a lodger, sell the house and downsize, close it up and lower their bills. Not really your place to oppose how they run their house and what they charge. Don't like it, get a room in a shared house.

Whinge, whinge, whinge.

Exactly how long do you need to save for a deposit for a room in a shared house? Especially if you visit one of the numerous sites available for renting a spare room in London, many don't require a great deal of money.

You sound bitter you don't get to live for free in London.

Boohoo. You're 21. Grow up and move out.

Sorry if I came across as snotty Qunitessing - I didn't intend to. they just struck me as quiet, innocent hobbies (though my DH has told me that the constant clicking of needles is enough to drive a man mad . . . . )

300 quid a month, and you think its too much and you are subsidising them?

Grow up! That is an incredible bargain which you should be grateful for. You are way into adulthood now, time to pay your own way.

Quintess laughing at your deduction that £900 rent would go far in London let alone near WC1 as per your scenario! When did you last rent in London?

But broadly agree with the concept - OP says anyway that her work isn't in London any more so £900 flatshare might get somewhere there.

You sound about 12! My 15 year old has more of a clue about finances than you.

£300 in the southeast is highly unlikely to be covering all your costs, if I were your mother and you said you resented paying that I'd black bag your stuff and throw you out too!

A quick google (because I don't live down that way) shows the average house share price is £120-175 so around double what you're paying now and that amount would not include

Food
Cleaning products
Household items

And sometimes doesn't even include bills like water rates and gas/electric! Or there's a limit to what you use.

Do your parents have contents and buildings insurance? Because that also benefits you.

Also do you do your own laundry always? Do you clean in communal areas not just your own direct mess? Do you clean the toilet and bathroom? The fridge/freezer ever? The cooker? If not you're also getting a cleaner and laundry service for what you're paying.

What about if you need something fixed? They sort that for you I imagine? What about redecorating when it's needed?

You're also safe and loved where you are now. Have company and support when you need it.

That £300 covers

Rent/mortgage
Council tax
Gas/elec
Water
Food
Cleaning products
Insurance
I suspect broadband
Possibly pay tv/Netflix
Maintenance costs
Redecorating costs.

Ask your parents if you don't already know what the rent/mortgage and bills are then calculate 1/4 (accounting for brothers costs) I'd bet anything £300 is nowhere near that amount.

Our parents are actually preparing you for life in the real word, OP - you get nowt for nowt out here.

'They are expecting me to look after their son/my brother for free someday'

Then you get out now. He's not your responsibility.

expatinscotland They actually upsized a year ago and no way could they get lodgers with my brother in the house. Sorry for being a whinge bag.

I get the picture, Just move out.

I was paying £60 for a room and shared bathroom 25 years ago, they're hardly profiting from you. I think you'll be in for a big shock when you move out.

Love how everyone is assuming the op doesn't clean or do her own laundry

I warned you you would get flamed dude...

I don't think £300 is a lot with your wages but if I didn't need the money, I wouldn't charge my ds rent... As long as he contributed in other ways around the house.

I paid £50 per week back in 1997, on a wage of £3.10 p/hr, so what you are paying currently is not unreasonable.

What you do need to do though, is nicely point out to your parents that if they expect you to be an adult and pay rent, then they cannot treat you like a child and wander into your room and go through your things because that is extremely rude and inappropriate.

I think 300 is very reasonable , the commuting costs double the rent you pay. Surely you'd be better off getting a house share nearer your work. You sound a bit hard done by but you are an adult you wouldn't find a flat including bills and food for that much, they won't be making any profit at all from you. My outgoings not even including food is 1700 thsts for a small 2 bed in south east but you can't even get a 1 bed here for less that 700-800 pcm.

I thought a third was the going rate so that would be £500 in your case.

I suspect your parents think they are allowing you to save by paying a very low rent. £75 a week inc bills and some food is peanuts isn't it? DD pays £1018 in London zone 3 for a tiny flat inc bills but no food.

And in the meantime appreciate your current situation.

They're not making a profit and will likely save money when you move out.

I'd been living away from home for 3 years at your age. That was 23 years ago also southeast lodging in a room £50 a week food not included. On a wage of £110 a week. And that was not unusual among my friends.

As for your mum not working with a disabled son that may be a decision your parents have made taking the whole family's situation into account. It would have been particularly hard when your brother (who I imagine isn't that much younger than you) and who must need a fair amount of care seeing as you're expected to care for him when they're older/die, was younger to find decent childcare for him if your mother had gone out to work.

Even now this is something that parents with children with disabilities struggle to find.

Moving out is your only option, and not because their rental charge is unfair, it isn't necessarily but the dynamic is wrong, you all sound grabby and entitled which indicates some history causing resentment and mistrust.

You are 21 and working in London, it's a super exciting time. The £300 plus travel of £600 would get you a decent room in a houseshare in a trendy area of London - my sister is about to move here and found rooms including bills for £600, travel from zone 2 is £150ish and that leave £150 for food and fun, so you could be better off. You'd also benefit hugely from the boost in self esteem due to living independently and meet loads of interesting people, and no rushing off for the last train. I moved to a zone 2 area aged 23 and it's been a blast, I've done loads, met my DH and now own a flat with two kids in tow. I really hope the same happens for my sister as I do think living at home has held her back, same for a friend who is still living at home with an expensive commute for working into London.

Take this as an opportunity, there is no immediate pressure so get onto spareroom.com and explore potential houseshares. You could make some good friends (plus a husband as I did), do things you never imagined and you won't be answerable to mum and dad. Go live your life to the full.

If I were in your position I think I would want to move into a house share in, or nearer, London. The long commute would be the deciding factor for me. Living with family is one thing if it is convenient. If it is not convenient and not meeting your needs, then it is time to go.

bittapitta

Did you not understand that WC1 was just an example taken for the potential profile?
How often do you go on Spareroom checking rates for single rooms in flatshares?

I do that regularly, as I own a house in London which is let on a room by room basis. I have a pretty good grasp of what rooms cost, and what people can, or are willing to pay. What I dont know is the postcode to OPs place of work, hence me suggesting she check it for herself.

Make sure you take all their pension when they come and live with you in their 80s.

I dunno. Helpful I know. My dds are each paying £200 a month to us. It's about 20 % of their salary. They are your age. One is rarely here ( spends half the week with her boyfriend).we are moving next year further from London. Mmmm. I think £300 is a lot. Do they need it?