To think that they are charging me too much?

[olderthanyouthink]

How much do/would you charge adult children to live at home?

In the "The reason young people can't afford to buy houses" thread the topic of parents allowing adult children to live at home to enable them to save up quicker/easier.

My own parents have started charging me £300 to live at home, I think thats too much. Mum actually said to me that I "shouldn't be getting rich living with them for free". £300 is more than half of what I was putting in savings and I've told them before how much was putting away (£500 + what's left at the end of the month).

I wouldn't call saving so I could move out, with a financial safety net, "getting rich".

More info for perspective:

• I've out of the house for nearly 14 hours per day minimum, five days a week so hardly running up heating & electricity all day.
• I eat breakfast and lunch out of the house on weekdays and maybe two thirds of my dinners at home (half the time sorting something out for myself because of long commute)
• We used to live in london but they moved us all out to the seaside so now commuting to work costs me £600/ month.
• My income is £1500/ month.

Who's being unreasonable?

Well, move out then. What they are charging isn't massive.

It doesn't sound like living there is working so I would move out. It will take longer to save but you will have your privacy, and 600 pounds commute saved which together with 300 rent gives you 900 pounds a month. You could find something in a shared house for that.
Obviously from a financial perspective it would be best to live rent free with your parents - but it's up to them to offer that. If it's no longer on offer, take your 900 pounds and see what other options you can find.

YABU. £300 is a pittance for a room with all bills included.

And torro the op did say that she does buy some food shopping and she doesn't eat there all the time so that's hardly fair of you to say.

My daughter earns £280/month. She pays £100 in board -less in terms of cash, but a much higher percentage than you are paying.

Your parents still aren't charging you a "living" amount. Don't be so tight!

You have two choices - stay on their terms or leave.
What you can't do is feel badly done to when they are only asking £300/month. You could not live for that amount anywhere else.
They are not obliged to offer you a room or to subsidise you.

Then move out. Its a simple 1+1 thing. If you don't want to pay your way at your parents then move out and pay your way there. No point in whining about it.

Time to grow up.

Could you get a house share somewhere nearer to london but not super close to prevent exorbitant rent? I'm in a house share near a city (not london tbf) and spend probably about £400 a month on rent, bills and food combined. If you take into account savings from a shorter commute, it could be worth it? And even if it still costs you a bit more, I can't imagine it would be that much of a difference and could well be worth it to not have to live with your parents.

And maybe you might consider being a little grateful that they are willing to still have you at home and support you whilst you save up.

Looks like my kids are going to be living the high life when they turn 18 😂

It depends whether your parents actually need the money, or whether they just think that you should be paying your way. £300 is not a huge amount in relation to your income, certainly considerably lower than you would pay renting privately... however you're not renting privately. You are their child!

I do think though it is a little out of order when parents want to charge their children rent. They chose to have a child, the child is their responsibility regardless of whether they have reached an age where they are out at work.

When a parent starts expecting their child to pay rent, it changes the whole dynamic. No longer is the parent a provider, they are displaying a desire to recoup some of the money they spent on raising the child, which is pretty disgusting when you think about it - a child should not be considered to be a financial investment. Anyway, would your parents be happy if in a few years time they have to come to live with you, and you demanded they pay you rent out of their pension? Probably not.

Your parents sound unreasonable and unsupportive of your efforts to make your own way in life. They are trying to hinder you - perhaps they don't want you to leave home at all, and this is their way of preventing you being able to save enough to afford to? I would suggest you call their bluff and refuse to pay anything. You haven't signed a contract (I assume) so they can't chase you for rent. They can ask you to leave but have to be "reasonable" about timescales (the law being its usual ambiguous self - what is "reasonable" is a matter of opinion). You will probably be able to stretch this out for a few months if you bullshit your way through any questioning from them - claim your pay is delayed, or you paid and the bank have made a mistake - do anything you can to delay it so you can save enough to get a deposit on a flat, or at least arrange a houseshare somewhere.

torroloco not really, they don't live in london.
I highly doubt they are saving it for me and I have my own savings account with I told them I was regularly putting money into.

user1479495984 I was doing an apprenticeship when we moved, they don't tend to pay much.

For the record I plan to more out, I've just got psyche myself up to do it, my anxiety problems aren't helpful here.

I really notice the extra on the bills when we have an extra adult in the house for more than a night or two. We have metered water as well as the other utilities, food, washing etc and I think £300 per month (£75 per week) is very fair and well under what student board would be in basic accommodation with no food, washing etc included. It's not really your business whether your mum works or not, that's their problem, as is their financial situation unless they seek your advice/help.
They also may be trying to encourage you to move out....

Have I read your post right - you're saving more than £500 a month, even once you've paid for your rent plus your commute? If so, that's quite a decent amount to be able to save. £300 is really not much at all - 25 years ago I was paying £250 a month plus bills, and I still had food to buy on top of that - from a salary that was nowhere near £1.5k.

What happens once you move out is not your problem. They will either have to downsize or your mum will have to get a job (btw, why is she not working now?) The alternative is to move a bit closer to London and rent somewhere - set your cheaper commuting costs off against your higher rent.

Your parents should absolutely not be going through your room - that's completely unacceptable.

So for how long were you squirrelling away £500 a month? You should have plenty to fund a rental somewhere nearer to your work( though good luck for finding it at £300 a month) where you will learn a few of the valuable life lessons you have so far not managed to take on board.

21 is an adult and they are entitled to expect you to start supporting yourself to some extent if you are able to. You could also ask yourself the question whether in 20 years time you would be happy to have them expect to live with you indefinitely for free? Cos it's pretty similar really.

WLF46 Trust me, I realised they want to keep me under their thumb ages ago (I have a disabled brother and their plan for him when they're old/dead is to dump him on my doorstep). But refusing to pay results in my belongs being stuffed into a bin bag and my mum trying to literally throw me out. You right there's not contract but I 've no idea of the legality of refusing to be thrown out of my "home".

There are loads of house shares available in London for around what your currently paying to commute. Rent is usually no more than 1 1/2 months rent so you should be able to save that up quickly. Could your parents actually be thinking its time you flew the nest and they are giving you a gentle push?

Please don't take WLF46's advice - they can absolutely refuse to have you in their home. No-one is asking you to stay - you are free to leave at any time and pay a landlord somewhere if you don't like it.

You are their adult child, not their child - and as an adult you have to pay your way.

Unfortunately I'm pretty sure they could throw you out. You really need to get moving soon and why would you want to stay if you feel they are being so controlling? Stop being a victim and get your act together. But please don't be unkind about your disabled brother. You need to be clear that they need to make other care arrangements for the future, that is reasonable, but he will likely need an advocate to ensure he is properly cared for for many years and it would be pretty selfish to not care enough about your brother to do that. YABVU if that is the case. Sorry but that's what I think.

SirChenjin I was saving £500 before they started charging. They just moved so can't really downsize. Mum hasn't worked since my brother was born in 99, my dad said she did a practice interview at his work and she had a big problem with nerves.

viques 5 or 6 months. I have enough for a deposit now, last month or two I was under the impression I would be able to move with a cousins in january but thats not the case any more, the rest of the money will be for emergency/ stuff I need once I'm out.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain They are expecting me to look after their son/my brother for free someday

Slightlyperturbedowlagain sorry it sounds harsh on my brother but they are burying their heads in the sand about his future care. Advocate is fine by me.

If you are paying 600 to commute and 300 rent, I am sure you would get a much better deal closer to your work. For 900 you could live very well in London! But I know it is possible to get decent rooms in a flatshare from around 400-500 pcm, and this would actually enable you to save some money!

Try look at spareroom.com

Take your time to view places, see that you like your potential flatmates and think you can bond with them, or at least live in peace with them!

Make a profile on spareroom, chose a decent picture which shows your face, with a smile, perhaps taken in a good location.

Take care how you present yourself. Like for example, if you say "Hi, I am Brenda, I work in Marketing/nursing/bookshop, and looking to find a new flatshare near my work place in WC1. I am quiet and easygoing, tidy and like to read or go to the cinema in my spare time" you will probably get interest from quiet and likeminded people.
Equally, a "Hi, I am Brenda, love a good party and want to find sociable flatmates to hang out with, love some wine of an evening, and love to explore all that London has to offer" you will probably appeal to some party animals!

Think about the sort of people you would like to live with, especially if you have some anxiety issues. Loud and cheerful people who like to party, or quiet people like yourself?

I definitely think you should move out. Living like you do now does not sound as if it is doing you any good, and with a terrible and draining commute!

If you were saving that much then you have the deposit. As such you're choosing to do that commute and not move out. As such, no you don't get whinging rights because you'd like it cheaper. You are being unreasonable.

older your brother is not your responsibility.