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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that they are charging me too much?

200 replies

olderthanyouthink · 03/12/2016 15:07

How much do/would you charge adult children to live at home?

In the "The reason young people can't afford to buy houses" thread the topic of parents allowing adult children to live at home to enable them to save up quicker/easier.

My own parents have started charging me £300 to live at home, I think thats too much. Mum actually said to me that I "shouldn't be getting rich living with them for free". £300 is more than half of what I was putting in savings and I've told them before how much was putting away (£500 + what's left at the end of the month).

I wouldn't call saving so I could move out, with a financial safety net, "getting rich".

More info for perspective:

  • I've out of the house for nearly 14 hours per day minimum, five days a week so hardly running up heating & electricity all day.
  • I eat breakfast and lunch out of the house on weekdays and maybe two thirds of my dinners at home (half the time sorting something out for myself because of long commute)
  • We used to live in london but they moved us all out to the seaside so now commuting to work costs me £600/ month.
  • My income is £1500/ month.

Who's being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Arriettyborrower · 03/12/2016 15:30

Hmmm sounds like there is more to it - I wouldn't go through my DS's rooms just as would expect them not to go through ours. I also chat to them when they come to me about future plans etc but don't grill them, so far that works for us all as they both have clear plans about what they want to do/where they want to be - as you do.
I would be less easygoing if they dossing around obviously.

torroloco · 03/12/2016 15:30

OP- as an adult you are entitled to your privacy so ou need to have a discussion wih your parents about that- but it is seperate from the rent issue.

gamerchick · 03/12/2016 15:31

Man, you're in for a proper shock when you move out!

Arriettyborrower · 03/12/2016 15:32

But, I do agree with previous posters that you'd be better off in a flat/house share near work even if your bills work out the same you won't be answerable to your parents.

ilovesooty · 03/12/2016 15:33

I don't think it's unreasonable. Perhaps you need to make a decision about the living base in the context of the commute.

user1479495984 · 03/12/2016 15:34

You're insane to pay £600 to commute!!

Justaboy · 03/12/2016 15:36

olderthanyouthink FWIW i don't charge my DD's anything for living here as I don't need the money ( well they do sometimes buy food for themselves and me too ) but if they don't like it here they can live out its just that they know how much it does cost to live out so they don't grumble when I have to have a good go at them about the shite house untidy bedrooms they have.

In fact I sent one of them a link to a pig farmer the other week to see how much he rented sty's out . The caused a very good tidy up;)

FizzBombBathTime · 03/12/2016 15:36

I don't think op is a princess or not in the real world when she's paying 600 pounds a month just to commute. She's not exactly going to be living the high life and 'getting rich' on 600 pounds a month is she?!

Original poster
olderthanyouthink · 03/12/2016 15:37

FizzBombBathTime I know, they go from "move out" to renting is a waste of money" in the space of an hour sometimes. I buy some food sometimes to cover when I'm not eating what they are .

SaucyJack I'm 21

SmilingButClueles I started working in london before we moved. They know exactly how much it costs because my dad does the same journey bt he gets 75% off.

They probably do need the money, but what are they going to do when I'm gone? My mum refuses to get a job, they can't be relying upon me subsidising them.

I was planning to move with a couple cousins to a "spare" grandparents house but that plan fell apart this week.

OP posts:
Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 03/12/2016 15:37

If you earn that much you can afford to move into a rental share nearer work. Try cutting back on your optional spending, (e.g. make your own breakfast and pack a lunch, cut back on going out etc) to save every penny you can for 2 months so you have deposits etc. It sounds like you need the privacy. Good luck Smile

SpaceDinosaur · 03/12/2016 15:38

£300/month? Bargain.

I paid £250/month 10years ago like you, low earner, high commuting costs.

You are an adult and you choose where you live.
You living with your parents increases their council tax, overheads, etc etc etc... you are very entitled if you think they should be subsidising you whilst you work.

If you want your own place, rights, contracts etc then go for it and get one.

FizzBombBathTime · 03/12/2016 15:38

Well then older that's their decision then isn't it. If they want to keep you trapped there that's their choice. I personally wouldn't do it, but I guess you can't argue with the LLs.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 03/12/2016 15:39

Are you wanting them to let you live there for free while you 'save' for your deposit?

If you dont want to pay them that then move out.

FizzBombBathTime · 03/12/2016 15:40

Space it wouldn't increase their council tax unless only one parent lives there

Also my gas electric and water is only 100 a month so I would feel cheeky taking 300 off my kids.

Justaboy · 03/12/2016 15:41

Just checked the train prices from where we live around 50 miles from London thats 570 quid a month so not that way out at all. Trains are bloody expensive and there're going up again:(

If she says her parents have moved to the seaside that it would be about right unless You call Sarffend the seaside?.

witsender · 03/12/2016 15:41

You're not subsidising them...you are living in their house. They are just not paying for/providing for you as they have done up until now.

That attitude/turn of phrase would irritate the hell out of me as a parent t tbh.

torroloco · 03/12/2016 15:42

FizzBomb- if I had £600 a month disposable income id be over the moon. Thats £20 a day more or less.

Perhaps I was a bit harsh but if OP is living in a house eating what she wants when she wants, using unlimited hot water, enjoying hours of central heating in an evening and using unlimited amounts of electricity and having a roof over her head for £300 a month (£10 a day) then Id say that was a incredibly fair deal.

Tryingtostayyoung · 03/12/2016 15:43

Hmmm tough one. I don't think it's a huge amount considering however I would take into account how much your paying to commute which is a ridiculous amount. I think in that case I would charge half which I think should cover everything

Bluntness100 · 03/12/2016 15:43

I think that as an adult who is earning, it's reasonable to be expected to pay your share of the bills. And to be fair, that probably is your share. Your parents are simply not subsidising uou to live at home.

Would I do it to my own daughter, no probably not unless I needed the money, and if I did, I would Save the money for her.if I could and not tell her.

I think uou need to start seriously looking at flat shares and getting your deposit in order. In the meantime, I think uou need to accept your an adult and need to pay your way.

torroloco · 03/12/2016 15:44

OP- do you have a friend you could go and stay with for a month or two as a "trial" to move out so you can see how difficult it actually can be?

Original poster
olderthanyouthink · 03/12/2016 15:44

I'm not opposed to paying what it costs them to have me here but I am opposed to them making a "profit".

Justaboy I wish it was southend, I can see suffolk now.

OP posts:
Justaboy · 03/12/2016 15:46

I wish it was southend, I can see suffolk now.

Aww that's naice;)

torroloco · 03/12/2016 15:46

Just a thought OP- but how do you know they arent saving some of what you pay them towards a house deposit for you?

FizzBombBathTime · 03/12/2016 15:47

torro like I said 300 would more than cover our bills so it would be cheeky to charge as much, in my opinion

I wouldn't do it to my kids because I would want them to be able to save all their money and move out. But everyone's different.

user1479495984 · 03/12/2016 15:47

Either live in London or get a job where and place where you live, either way you'd have more money and independence.

You realise your parents moving doesn't mean you have too as well...!

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