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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I right to feel a bit miffed?

290 replies

zukiecat · 02/12/2016 09:50

First time posting for a long while so please be gentle!

I don't know if I'm just being a bit miserable or what but today I promised to look after a friend's three dogs in her home while she attends an appointment in a different city.

I am here from 9-4 and I have to go to work at 5pm (work a few shifts at my local shop)

Friend offered to pay me and said she would leave the money on the table, I arrive and find a note saying sorry can't pay you but here's your bus fare home (£4)

Am I right to feel a bit used as I have given up an entire day, for free?

I still have to work 5-10pm and again in the morning 7-1, so there will be no time to do anything else or see my daughter ( she's grown up, but we are very close)

Maybe I'm just a miserable cow and I'm all for helping a friend, but I always do the helping!

OP posts:
PaulDacresConscience · 02/12/2016 23:32

Fuck me - what a cow!

Cut her off. Life is too short to spend it with people who are nasty and manipulative and deceitful.

OutOfBlueComesGreen · 03/12/2016 11:27

Zukie, if you weren't a regular poster, my trolldar would be flashing!

Original poster
zukiecat · 03/12/2016 14:19

I'm not a troll I promise Outofblue! Smile

Sorry everyone, not long in from work,

Well I haven't heard a thing from her today, no texts, messages or voicemails, so definitely no payment forthcoming or even a thank you.

I'm going to listen to you all this time and never let her back in my life again, she can find some other mug to do her bidding!

OP posts:
Ohdearducks · 03/12/2016 14:34

Well done Zukiecat! I must admit I'd be very tempted to text her with my thoughts on her character and behaviour but I'm glad you won't be used by her anymore.

Original poster
zukiecat · 03/12/2016 15:18

Thanks OhDearDucks,

I've had some fun thinking of all the things I could say to her, but I think I'll just draw a line underneath it all now and in the spirit of Elsa just Let It Go!

OP posts:
EmNetta · 03/12/2016 15:26

Congratulations zukiecat, you're a Star!
Been lurking and hoping you'd follow advice from people who really are your friends, here on Mumsnet.
Shame about your Saturday, but maybe it's been worthwhile getting your "friend" out of your life and I'm sure the dogs appreciated your kindness (and the heating too).

Tapandgo · 03/12/2016 18:55

OP Thought this was one of the saddest tales I've read on here for a while at how a person can be used and abused by a so called friend. However - it's actually the most cheering because you've now seen her for what she is and stood up for yourself.
Brilliant - well done - chin up and forward now. 😀

littlesallyracket · 03/12/2016 19:02

I've had some fun thinking of all the things I could say to her, but I think I'll just draw a line underneath it all now and in the spirit of Elsa just Let It Go!

You are absolutely great, OP! Standing up for yourself and moving on with dignity is the best possible thing you could have done. Well done you. :)

TrapDoorInACanoe · 03/12/2016 19:11

Providing the dogs have been fed and watered and you've let them out for the toilet, I wouldn't hang around till 5pm. I would maybe leave around 2.30pm.

Serialweightwatcher · 03/12/2016 19:30

OMG what a toxic piece of cack this woman is - she's no friend at all - don't think she'd know how to be ...... she's a user, selfish and downright manipulative - you seem like a sensitive, kind, caring person - for your own sanity and peace of mind, get bloody rid of her asap - you don't need people like this chancer in your life ... take care of yourself and find a good friend - someone who will treat you how you deserve to be treated Flowers

FaithFromTheRealmsOfGlory · 03/12/2016 19:30

Trap erm have you RTFT?!

Good on you zukie! Remember this resolve. She will come crawling back in the future.

AnnabelC · 03/12/2016 20:07

She could buy more bacon on her way back. That's how mean she is being.

boo2410 · 03/12/2016 20:11

Zukie I've just read the whole thread. So glad you left. I'm a dog lover and when I had my old boy he could be left no problem. Your "friend" is a user and really doesn't deserve you. Hope you have found a better friend in your work colleague (did I read that right? if not I apologise). Very best wishes to you and well done. Flowers Flowers

Lunar1 · 03/12/2016 20:18

Bloody hell, I remember the whole lino debacle! What is wrong with this woman.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 03/12/2016 20:27

Just read this hoping you had eaten the bacon and sent a snapchat of you doing so, or taken the packet of bacon with you. At the very least you should have hidden it from her.
Very fucking cheeky to not even text you thanking you for dog sitting.
I hope she came home to find 🐶 💩 On the floor

whowantsadog · 03/12/2016 20:52

5 hours of your time for a handful of coppers and some dry bread? Where does she live, in a fucking Dickens novel?!

Glad you've seen the light, it's shit when good people get treated badly by users. Xmas Angry

Memoires · 03/12/2016 21:34

Could you write a letter to her dh asking him why he's keeping her so short of money that, despite promising to pay you for your time she couldn't afford to leave you your bus fare home or even provide you with food?

You know she's not going to let you get away easily, don't you? She's going to be knocking at your door again soon enough.

ChocolateForAll · 03/12/2016 21:44

Well done, Zukie. Well rid of such a parasitic "friend".

Daydream007 · 03/12/2016 23:52

YANBU

IMissGrannyW · 04/12/2016 00:38

spent all of Friday at work reading this thread (instead of working!) and wondered how it ended.

Zukie, you've done brilliantly.

If we lived near each other, I'd def be your friend, and not a taker. You are clearly fabulous, so don't let yourself be used.
It's testament to you how many posters on this thread know who you are and appreciate you.

All the best to you.

Duck90 · 04/12/2016 01:12

I don't normally pay friends for a helping hand (or expect payment) What a strange thread. OP stop offering your help, you are giving more time than others would. Your friend sounds short of cash if the cupboards are empty.

WouldHave · 04/12/2016 08:31

OP didn't even get a handful of coppers - she ended up out of pocket as the fare money didn't cover her travel costs. That really is taking the piss.

pictish · 04/12/2016 08:51

I certainly wouldn't agree to a favour I couldn't afford the bus fare to. If you say yes to something it's on the assumption that you are able to get there and back yourself.

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 04/12/2016 09:07

I'd go to a paid job if didn't have much bus fare (or petrol in my case) as of course, my pay for the day's work would reimburse me!
IF "friend" had asked for a favour instead of offering the OP money, I'm sure OP would have weighed the favour up carefully and said no as she couldn't afford the bus fare to do it. As she was offered paid work, the costs to herself were easily ignored.

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 04/12/2016 09:08

And Zukie please go NC. She is not a friend. She is nothing but a user and if she challenges you on why you're ignoring her, please do tell her why and then BLOCK HER.

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