Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this really Fucking Unbelievable?

232 replies

ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:12

Just need some perspective!
So my grandma is in hospital with suspected DVT. I was chatting to my sister about when I'd be able to get to see grandma over the weekend and said I wouldn't have much chance as DH is going on an all day and night bender on Saturday with his mates. I can go see her Sunday afternoon and have already seen her last night.
She went mental! Said it was Fucking Unbelievable and was a sad indictment of my life?

For context dh has the all dayer once a year and it's a tradition with his friends. He's not the type to be out all the time. I'd grandma got seriously ill he would obviously cancel but for now she is stable in hospital.

She's not talking to me now and I'm not sure if I'm totally underreacting to DH going out?

OP posts:
Neefs · 02/12/2016 09:16

Why can't you visit during the day on Sat? Is it child-care? Perhaps ask your Dsis if she can look after any DC while you visit? Might make her feel better that you are trying to find a way to visit.

lilyboleyn · 02/12/2016 09:17

Yeah, it's a bit rubbish on your part, OP.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 02/12/2016 09:18

Sorry OP, I do think YABU.

Neefs · 02/12/2016 09:18

Have DH join his mates later in the day so you can visit in the morning? There must be a way to fit a visit in, and your DH's bender....

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:18

I can't visit because my children are like mini tornadoes and have no other childcare.

No one else is cancelling anything. Dad is still working all weekend, BIL is still working shifts all weekend. I don't understand the outrage but I'm known for issues going straight over my head.

OP posts:
Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 09:19

Yeah. I agree with your sister. Since when did someone else's drinking bender mean more to you than your grandmother. If it were mine I would be there now. Maybe you don't realise how serious this can be? How would you feel if you never saw her again?

Priorities.

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:19

I've already been over last night and will go again tonight and Sunday. She has other family members coming over too.

OP posts:
Neefs · 02/12/2016 09:20

But those people are working OP, your DH is just going out on the piss. Not the same.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 02/12/2016 09:20

I'm kind of with your sister, although I wouldn't "go mental" or stop speaking to you.

It would negatively affect my view of your husband though, and I can hold a grudge for ever.

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 09:20

It's all xcuses, and it doesn't matter what anyone else is doing ffs.

lilyb84 · 02/12/2016 09:20

She's stable and you are able to visit at the weekend albeit only on one day. I don't see the problem. Would it be okay to take your dcs on Saturday if childcare is the issue and you feel you should go in then too? Is no one else able to visit on that day which is why your dsis is so upset?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/12/2016 09:20

I don't think it's outrageous - you saw her yesterday and will see her Sunday.
What's wrong with that?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 02/12/2016 09:21

An all day and all night bender sounds ridiculous; really - a big night out, fair enough, but does he really need 20 odd hours of drinking?

Regardless that's the tradition. I'd have expected him to offer to vary it this year given that your gran is in hospital; presumably if you're at home covering for your husbands huge drinking session someone else will feel they have to visit?

Tissunnyupnorth · 02/12/2016 09:22

Just go sat morning/lunchtime, surely the 'bender' can start in the afternoon?

lilyb84 · 02/12/2016 09:22

Cross post. Perhaps a compromise as a pp suggested where you go earlier in the day before your DH goes out?

BorpBorpBorp · 02/12/2016 09:23

Why is it so important to your sister that you see Grandma on Saturday not Sunday?

PenelopeFlintstone · 02/12/2016 09:23

You're seeing her three out of four days. Sounds okay to me.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 02/12/2016 09:23

Cross posts. Your sister has overreacted but you do have a weak excuse for not visiting. You may have been better to say you weren't planning to visit on Saturday than to say you can't because DP is on an all day bender; which makes it seem that his drinking is more important than visiting your gran. I appreciate that she's stable but hospitals are really really boring and visits brighten the day up.

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:23

DSIS is visiting on Saturday so grandma will have a visitor every day.

I do appreciate it's not great timing for DH to be going out but she is stable and being cared for. If she detoriated then he would have to cancel.

OP posts:
CorporalNobbyNobbs · 02/12/2016 09:23

I don't know I think visiting 3 days out of 4 is reasonable especially if there are other people visiting too. How long would you be spending there on Saturday if you were going?

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:24

I can't go Saturday morning as I'm having my roots done Blush that is a bit of a shitty excuse I'll admit.

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 02/12/2016 09:25

Who is looking after the DC on Sunday for you to see GM? Presumably if your DH is going on a 24hr bender he will be in no fit state to do anything.

fluffygal · 02/12/2016 09:25

You are seeing her on Sunday and went yesterday I think YANBU. However, why can't you go without your DH on Saturday?

IrregularCommentary · 02/12/2016 09:25

So you're seeing her 3 days out of 4? I don't really see the big deal tbh. It's not like she won't get any visitors on the Sat.

OccasionalNachos · 02/12/2016 09:26
Hmm