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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this really Fucking Unbelievable?

232 replies

ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:12

Just need some perspective!
So my grandma is in hospital with suspected DVT. I was chatting to my sister about when I'd be able to get to see grandma over the weekend and said I wouldn't have much chance as DH is going on an all day and night bender on Saturday with his mates. I can go see her Sunday afternoon and have already seen her last night.
She went mental! Said it was Fucking Unbelievable and was a sad indictment of my life?

For context dh has the all dayer once a year and it's a tradition with his friends. He's not the type to be out all the time. I'd grandma got seriously ill he would obviously cancel but for now she is stable in hospital.

She's not talking to me now and I'm not sure if I'm totally underreacting to DH going out?

OP posts:
Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 09:42

Where are the 3 days out of 4 coming from?

OP went last night and is going again on Sunday, that is 2 out of 4 Confused. I suppose it is just a matter of how important people are to each other.

DVTs are potentially fatal, I would be thee EVERY day.

MiracletoCome · 02/12/2016 09:44

YANBU, you are going Sunday, other family members are going on other days. The thing is is she could be in for a while and you would probably find it difficult to go every day anyway

When DM was in hospital, DB and myself took turns visiting

CorporalNobbyNobbs · 02/12/2016 09:44

She said she is going tonight as well Meadows

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 09:45

All family members can't go every day for the entirety of visiting hours - just think of the chaos that would cause on the wards. Ours has open visiting on certain wards, when my dad had his DVT, which travelled up and caused a pulmonary embolism I was with him from 9am until about 9pm give or take nipping out for the shop etc. DH dropped everything so I could be there.

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:45

Dh is having the kids while I get my hair done and then we will swap over.
My family is quite laid back really, as long as there's someone there at least once a day then they're ok. Sister is always angry at everything.

OP posts:
Chickpearocker · 02/12/2016 09:45

Another daily mail headline ?

sillypussy · 02/12/2016 09:45

Really don't see what DSIS is upset about. If you hadn't been to see your granny at all then maybe I could understand the reaction.

  1. Granny is currently stable.
  2. You've already been to see her.
  3. You're going again on Sunday.
  4. DH will cancel if she deteriorates.

All sounds perfectly reasonable to me!!

Cromwell1536 · 02/12/2016 09:46

Nope, don't see a problem. You are visiting your grandmother frequently, and she has lots of other visitors besides. You have children, other weekend appointments, a husband with friends - life goes on. What if you lived 200 miles away? would you be expected to make a daily round trip? Your grandmother is lucky to have family close enough by that she can have lots of visitors. I think your sister is using the opportunity to put the boot in to you and your husband, don't know why, perhaps she's jealous of that better toy you got one Christmas when you were both kids? Anyways, rise above it: just smile beatifically at her and keep repeating that you'll be visiting on Sunday, would grandma like this magazine/book/fruit salad does she think? Honestly, siblings! my mother and her sister behaved like this - total waste of life!

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 09:47

She said she is going tonight as well Meadows

Sorry it was added after the OP was made. Perhaps it was an afterthought. The OP is clear 'I can go see her Sunday afternoon and have already seen her last night'. No mention of today at that point.

Katy07 · 02/12/2016 09:47

If DH is having kids while you're having your hair done why he can't he keep them a little bit longer while you briefly pop into the hospital?!

TheCakes · 02/12/2016 09:47

I wouldn't have mentioned DHs plans. They do make you sound a bit crap. Sorry.
If you'd just said you couldn't make it till Sunday but you'd be there Thurs and Friday night, I doubt she'd have been so cross.

pictish · 02/12/2016 09:47

So she was there last night, is going again tonight and will be there on Saturday night too. She needs Saturday off because her husband already has plans. Seems fine to me.

And please - to all of you sneering at his night out...enough of that. Getting out, catching up with pals and letting it all hang loose is bloody good for us. Leave the poor guy alone ffs.

Katy07 · 02/12/2016 09:48

An afterthought? Or a creation to get the OP off the hook?Hmm

Muddlingthroughtoo · 02/12/2016 09:48

Yanbu, 3 days out of 4 is great! I'm sure there will be other visitors, is your sister going on the Saturday?

DailyMailSucksAss · 02/12/2016 09:48

You just keep making excuses OP. If this were my gran I'd cancel my hair appointment, and force dh to delay his bender so we could all go as a family. Tbh your sister didn't go far enough in her censure of you - if my sister did this, I would have yelled at her.

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 09:48

Dh is having the kids while I get my hair done. I'm actually speechless that anyone would prioritise a hair cut over their seriously ill grandmother

MiracletoCome · 02/12/2016 09:49

The hospital may not be that close to just pop in, our local one is 15 miles away.

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 09:49

An afterthought? Or a creation to get the OP off the hook?. Yes, I think that what I really meant.

BastardGoDarkly · 02/12/2016 09:50

Is sis visiting 3/4 days too?! She's being ridiculous, it doesn't matter what the reason is that you can't go on Saturday, you've done Thursday, doing Friday, and Sunday, with her other visitors, that's plenty the woman needs rest too!

Get your roots done, let DH go out, ignore your sister, and continue being the obviously devoted granddaughter you are, I hope your GM makes a full recovery soon.

Flowers
Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:50

Another daily mail headline?
I hope not. She loves the DM. I may get this deleted.

I did add tonight as an afterthought, sorry that should have been clearer.

OP posts:
Pisssssedofff · 02/12/2016 09:50

Some of you lot need to go on s good all day bender. Would go you the world of good

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 09:50

The hospital may not be that close to just pop in, our local one is 15 miles away. as if that's far Hmm

Lovelybangers · 02/12/2016 09:50

Your sis is BU

If your grandma was at death's door then fair enough - you could amend your plans and be at the hospital.

However it doesn't read that way - so just carry on with the plans you already have- and visit on Sunday.

Gran might not want to be bombarded with visitors constantly anyway. I wouldn't if I was in hospital.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 02/12/2016 09:50

"Good for you. I'd see that as your problem and think you could eff bloody oh with that bullshit."

You could see it how you liked if it made you feel better but it wouldn't actually be a problem for me.

YoHoHoandabottleofTequila · 02/12/2016 09:52

Your Dsis is over reacting, your gran is stable and you're visiting tomorrow. And like you said if she gets worse he'll cancel. Tell her to stop the dramatics.