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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this really Fucking Unbelievable?

232 replies

ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:12

Just need some perspective!
So my grandma is in hospital with suspected DVT. I was chatting to my sister about when I'd be able to get to see grandma over the weekend and said I wouldn't have much chance as DH is going on an all day and night bender on Saturday with his mates. I can go see her Sunday afternoon and have already seen her last night.
She went mental! Said it was Fucking Unbelievable and was a sad indictment of my life?

For context dh has the all dayer once a year and it's a tradition with his friends. He's not the type to be out all the time. I'd grandma got seriously ill he would obviously cancel but for now she is stable in hospital.

She's not talking to me now and I'm not sure if I'm totally underreacting to DH going out?

OP posts:
purplefizz26 · 02/12/2016 10:04

You are seeing your GM as much as you can with kids and every day stuff will allow. She isn't sat alone, she has other family/friends going at other times.

Your DH will be portrayed as a selfish alcoholic that won't take the kids so you can see your dying GM. When in reality, you are happy for him to have is annual outing with his friends and you will see your poorly GM at other points during the weekend. And if her condition changes surely he would take the kids and rearrange?

Everyone needs to calm down.

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 10:05

15 miles isn't just around the corner yes I am aware of distance measurements. While it is not just round the corner it's not exactly far away either.

DailyMailJournosSmell · 02/12/2016 10:05

Meadows. I don't know how harshly and unkindly you come across in your posts. I've noticed you doing the same on other threads. I often disagree with OPs but I try to do it in a less belligerent way. I find people listen to your point of view far more if you are reasonable about it.

Everhopeful · 02/12/2016 10:05

Good grief - I've just read some of the flames here! FlowersCakeWine to help you get over them!

People: I don't know what's going on in your lives, but it isn't OP's fault! She's doing pretty well, it seems to me.

wwyd123 · 02/12/2016 10:06

Yanbu. She will have a visitor everyday, it doesn't have to be you every day.

pictish · 02/12/2016 10:06

Oooh this thread is making me mad. You sanctimonious, rotten bloody lot.

Potnoodlewilld0 · 02/12/2016 10:08

Today 10:06 pictish

Oooh this thread is making me mad. You sanctimonious, rotten bloody lot

I agree

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 10:08

Ok I've established that meadows has it in for me Fuck sake someone needs to grow up Hmm. I haven't got it in for you Confused

You posted. You asked for opinions. I gave opinion. You didn't like opinion. You cause me of 'having it in for you'

GET. A. GRIP.

I don't even know you, why would I have it in for you.

sparklefarts · 02/12/2016 10:09

I'm with you op. Your sis has totally over reacted. If you weren't going to see your nan other times then I would agree with your sis. But you are going to see her. And she has others visiting so she's not alone.
People are odd op. Ignore and continue as you were!

cloudchasing · 02/12/2016 10:10

Agree with pictish.

Some of you are really fucking horrible.

Potnoodlewilld0 · 02/12/2016 10:10

You get a grip meadow and possibly some fresh air. You do seem very angry so early in the morning..

SaucyJack · 02/12/2016 10:10

3 days out of 4 sounds plenty to me.

How much company would she have if she was at home? Quite possibly less.

Jellybean83 · 02/12/2016 10:11

I don't think it's the OP who has to get herself a grip......

Liiinoo · 02/12/2016 10:11

You're being perfectly reasonable. Granny is ill but stable, you're visiting regularly and life goes on. Your DH is perfectly entitled to his annual lads day out. Your sis is off her chump.

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 10:11

Meadows. I don't know how harshly and unkindly you come across in your posts. I post as I think. I don't sugar coat it. I also don't attack anyone on a personal level. I just answer the posts. I have been accused of all sorts on here, simply for not agreeing (and not sugar coating my opinion) I think in black and white. I talk in black and white. I try to keep things simple and straight.

I don't see what is harsh or unkind about trying to tell someone whose grandmother has a potentially fatal condition that she should prioritise grandmother over husbands drinking.

Potnoodlewilld0 · 02/12/2016 10:12

Some folk get waaaaaaay to angry on threads!!

Is this really Fucking Unbelievable?
Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 10:12

You get a grip meadow and possibly some fresh air. You do seem very angry so early in the morning... I find emotion very difficult to read so I can understand your confusion, I'm not angry. Thanks.

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 10:13

Are you my sister meadows? You're as quick to anger as she us.

OP posts:
SILfoundmyusername · 02/12/2016 10:14

I don't see the problem, you've seen her in the evenings and will be going Sunday, that's fine! Not everyone can go every day and it's nice to have different family members each day not everyone en mass.
I think your sister is projecting her guilt at only seeing her once every few months.
Sounds like she is very stable, has something common and easily treatable and your DH shouldn't cancel his trip.

Potnoodlewilld0 · 02/12/2016 10:14

Aw you sound like my mil meadow

'I call a spade a spade me' and 'I speak the truth!'

Translated in to = I'm a rude old bag Grin

Itmustbemyage · 02/12/2016 10:15

when relatives are well people don't bother with them, but when they are ill there is a big show about visiting etc

I wonder if your Dsis will be visiting your GM once she is out of the hospital? Sounds like she only goes to see her when she has an audience to see that she cares. I have elderly parents so have seen this in my own family , lots of visits when they are in hospital, big show of bringing gifts etc but when my parents go home, when they really need the visits and support, other family members are suddenly far too busy.
Don't change your plans but be there for your GM when she really needs you, which is not necessarily when she is in hospital.

cloudchasing · 02/12/2016 10:15

Yep, the old 'I'm not being rude, I'm just being honest... '

No, you're being rude.

Krampus · 02/12/2016 10:15

Your sister is completely over reacting. You are doing 3 days out of 4 and she is still having visitors on the day you can't do. Does your Grandma even want, or can cope with, a constant stream of visitors?

DailyMailJournosSmell · 02/12/2016 10:18

Meadows. That's the point I'm trying to make. I often disagree with posters, I've even been known to disagree with whole threads of posters but I can still manage to do it without being so bolshy and blunt. I don't know what you are like in real life but online you come across as a bit hard not because of your opinions but because of how you say them. Maybe you don't mind.

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 10:18

No, you're being rude.. So it is rude to disagree with someone? The whole thing has just been posted so the OP can have everyone come along and agree that she is right? Oh dear, I think I may have misunderstood the AIBU??

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