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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this really Fucking Unbelievable?

232 replies

ragingsister · 02/12/2016 09:12

Just need some perspective!
So my grandma is in hospital with suspected DVT. I was chatting to my sister about when I'd be able to get to see grandma over the weekend and said I wouldn't have much chance as DH is going on an all day and night bender on Saturday with his mates. I can go see her Sunday afternoon and have already seen her last night.
She went mental! Said it was Fucking Unbelievable and was a sad indictment of my life?

For context dh has the all dayer once a year and it's a tradition with his friends. He's not the type to be out all the time. I'd grandma got seriously ill he would obviously cancel but for now she is stable in hospital.

She's not talking to me now and I'm not sure if I'm totally underreacting to DH going out?

OP posts:
InsultingTheAlligator · 02/12/2016 13:24

I liked the colicky mistype!

OP, YANBU. Englishhusband , have a great time with your mates. OP, enjoy your haircut.

Thanks to your DGM. Hope she is better soon.

BastardGoDarkly · 02/12/2016 13:25
Grin

It's not that bizarre meadow .... op... I've started a thread on MN, they all think sis is being a right cow unreasonable. Dh.... do they? I'll have a look.

Really not that weird.

ElphabaTheGreen · 02/12/2016 13:26

Really, Meadows? Confused My DH knows my MN username, and while he isn't the type to post in forums, I find it entirely believable that DPs which those inclinations would do so.

Welcome to MN, OP's DH. We have many lovely men on here and there's even a Dadsnet forum somewhere over there -->

ElphabaTheGreen · 02/12/2016 13:26

*WITH those inclinations

HolidayHunterTeam · 02/12/2016 13:28

I am 100% not with your sister. I think she is completely overreacting. You are making arrangements to see her when you can. She needs to treat your other family members the same.

Meadows76 · 02/12/2016 13:29

Dh.... do they? I'll have a look Ah, i suppose so. I never really thought of that possibility. Probably because if I said something similar to that my DH would acknowledge and then carry on with doing his own thing Confused

Still as it seems OP only wants people who agree with her, and is getting her husband to o come along and back her up, I think I will bow out of this.

What a crock of shit.

pictish · 02/12/2016 13:33

Bye then.

Inthenick · 02/12/2016 13:38

I think it's fine OP. Presumably other family members will be visiting on Sat. In any case you are making lots of effort to see her on other days.

Potnoodlewilld0 · 02/12/2016 13:45

Nah!

While I still stand that the original posts is YANBU

I'm never a big believer of when the 'DH' looks for, registers and joins a thread. It's a bit .. Jackanory.

ah well >

Xmas Smile Ho Ho Ho merry Christmas everybody!

Faybian · 02/12/2016 13:45

I think I can see where you are going wrong here. You don't have to go and visit your Gran on Saturday, the decision is up to you and is none of your sisters beeswax, but telling her that you are not going because of the importance of your husbands 'all day bender' leaves you open to attack because it just doesn't sound right from most people's perspective, even if it seems totally reasonable to you. Tell her you don't have time, have a slight bug you don't want your gran to catch, promised the tornadoes you'd spend the day with them etc. As I said before, it's really none of her business but one needs to be tactful when dealing with raging sisters. I have one too.

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 13:55

Feel free to report if you think it's dodgy meadow. It might get it deleted for me faster, they seem to be ignoring my requests.
I can't help that DH is a nosey fucker. If he wants to come and have a look at what I'm saying on a public forum then that is entirely his choice.

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 02/12/2016 14:04

Have they said they'll delete it OP? They won't automatically do it upon request, especially fairly high traffic threads like this one, unless there's an obvious breech of site rules or confirmed outing of a poster, which there hasn't been.

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 14:09

They haven't replied. I've said it's too identifying so hopefully they will.

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 02/12/2016 14:12

Hm, don't get your hopes up. I think that's one of those things that falls into the 'you should have thought about that before you posted' category. If they deleted every thread that posters regretted starting, or started then decided they got the answers they wanted, they wouldn't have time to do anything else. Ask to get it moved to OTBT maybe so it doesn't appear in a Google search or on Active? (If they'd even allow that...?)

Original poster
ragingsister · 02/12/2016 14:19

It's worth a try Smile

OP posts:
hatsandbagsandshoes · 02/12/2016 14:26

I haven't RTWT, but no, I think YANBU. Your grandmother isn't dying, your whole life doesn't have to stop! You'be already visited and you are visiting again on Sunday. You don't have to be there every day.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 02/12/2016 14:42

I feel like I'm jumping on the band wagon now, but no, YANBU.

notangelinajolie · 02/12/2016 14:42

Has anyone asked Grandma what she wants? Does she want an endless stream of visitors? I've been in hospital twice with DVT and all I wanted to do was rest, read my book and get better. It's stressful enough just being in hospital and having people sat at the end of your bed all hours of the day can get a bit much. In the end I had to tell my visitors go away!!

If they do find out it is DVT, she is in the right place and chances are she is going to get better. I think TBH the time for visitors will be when she gets home and then she will definitely need help especially if they have told her she needs to as immobile as possible until the danger has passed - which they did with me.

I think you have it just right OP so no I don't think you ABU.

MiracletoCome · 02/12/2016 14:47

It will be much more useful to do her shopping and a bit of housework for her when she gets home, she will probably really appreciate that.

DixieNormas · 02/12/2016 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

K425 · 02/12/2016 15:21

Anyone who thinks that 15 miles isn't all that far away doesn't have to rely on public transport. My local hospital is 15 miles away. It's around 40 mins by car, and an hour by public transport if the connecting trains run on time. Each way. There is no "popping in".

MiracletoCome · 02/12/2016 15:41

Also if money is tight, fuel and car parking fees or public transport costs can add up if you are visiting daily.

pinkblink · 02/12/2016 15:45

I don't see the issue, your sister maybe needs to calm her tits Hmm it's not like you aren't visiting for a week while you're on a bender

scottishdiem · 02/12/2016 15:57

I am with the OP. Sister was very very wrong. When my Gran was in hospital (many times over the last 20 odd years) we all took shifts but there were times where there were gaps.

As for people going a bit doolally at the OP - glad your lives are 100% perfect - one assumes you are here to gloat?

EnglishHusband1 · 02/12/2016 16:26

May I ask why you feel it is bizarre? My wife likes nothing more than when a genuine concern (thread) receives sparks a range of opinions and sometimes makes it known to me. I didn't know I was being thought of in an ill manner until yesterday evening for something I was unaware was causing any issue.

I took a particular interest in this topic, we don't always know the right path so it is good to hear what others think to sometimes offer another perspective. I hope this offers clarity to your confusion.

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