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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nativity play is a waste of time...

235 replies

PointyJat · 02/12/2016 07:42

And the biggest parts are given to teachers favourites/those with pushy parents?

Ds is in year R and they've spent weeks preparing. He and his friend say they spend lots of time sitting in the hall watching the main parts 'practice'. Teacher has cancelled PE since half term for this 'practice'.

Only a few children have a big part, the rest are varying levels of nothing Grin ds is a 'villager' but doesn't even go on stage, he just sings the songs along with all of the others.

Nativity seems like a waste of time and a lot of waiting about, other than for a minority of pupils. I'd rather either all children got a part with a similar level of input, or they just stopped bothering with the play and did PE as usual. Aibu (and grumpy).

OP posts:
RandomDent · 02/12/2016 07:44

Every year...

Please don't insult us by saying we bow to the loud/pushy/PTA chair.

Trifleorbust · 02/12/2016 07:45

A bit grumpy. Nativity plays (or school productions in general) provide some of the best memories from primary school! As long as parts are distributed fairly over the primary years, it's not the end of the world that not everyone can be Mary or Joseph. It teaches the students about turn-taking (or it should), patience and supporting their friends.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 02/12/2016 07:48

They all get a similar part in our school.

The older ones all do a bit of narrating, the little ones all get a tiny part then go and sit down and all the classes get a song each.

The teachers all work hard and also do bits in their own time. Yabu imo.

Only1scoop · 02/12/2016 07:49

Yabu nativity plays in reception are fantastic.

ShoeJunkie · 02/12/2016 07:51

Yabu - I'm really looking forward to seeing ds1 in his first play.

TaraCarter · 02/12/2016 07:51

In my experience, the biggest parts are given to the bombproof competent younglings who can handle that amount of lines in front of an audience. My kids aren't those! So far they have always been walk-on be-costumed members of the chorus so far, and I'm glad they're not put under more pressure than they can bear.

LadyPenelope68 · 02/12/2016 07:51

As a teacher it makes me really angry when parents spout the "they give the best parts to the favourites/pushiest parents children etc, etc". What absolute rubbish!!

The parts are given to the children who best fit the part!! It's also absolutely impossible, given the nature of the story itself, to give every child in school an equal part, just doesn't work like that. Most schools go out of their way to make sure every child has a part of some kind, and most put in hours of unpaid time to sort it out, plan scripts, make costumes etc, etc.

SemiNormal · 02/12/2016 07:52

YANBU - I loathe it! My DS schools play is on 3 times. One afternoon and two evenings. Evening times start at 6pm meaning pick him up from after school club and straight over for the school play which I'll then have to pay £3 for each performance or wait outside. By the time we'll get home, after walking back in the cold and dark, it'll be dinner and bed and a very tired/grumpy 6yr old.

dannydyerismydad · 02/12/2016 07:54

YABU. DS is always a sheep. I don't care. I well up every time.

therootoftheroot · 02/12/2016 07:54

let's be honest...teachers are damned if they do and damned if they don't aren't they?

if they DIDN'T do a nativity play-parents would moan.

if they gave the parts to the quiet shy children and nobody could hear them/they refused to partake-that would be the teachers fault too.

and all this shit about the kids who's parents are in the PTA being favourites? it's just such rot.

TaraCarter · 02/12/2016 07:55

Actually PTA-membership might make a difference, but not for the reasons MN usually worries. People who can make time to attend the PTA are people who can and will make time to help their child practise their lines so the're word-perfect on the day.

ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 02/12/2016 07:56

Oh the irony.

All the threads about making Christmas magical for children. Elf on the shelf, Christmas eve boxes, mountains of presents, blah, blah, blah.

Remind me again what Christmas is about?

TaraCarter · 02/12/2016 07:57

And that is an example of correlation not equaling causation, by the way.

No conspiracy to aid the PTA members is necessary!

Eolian · 02/12/2016 07:58

I usually don't agree OP but I must say that ds (8) is moaning a lot about the endless rehearsals. He's got about 2 lines to learn and yet is spending weeks rehearsing when he'd rather be doing normal lessons ("We haven't done any maths for aaages! It's not fair!") He says the teacher in charge is being really mean and grumpy with them if it's not going well. I understand only too well that teachers are exhausted too by this point in the term (being a teacher myself) and I know he'll enjoy the actual performances, but it all seems a bit relentless atm.

Deliaskis · 02/12/2016 07:58

DD's is Monday 12th and they only got their parts ok Monday this week, so it's not taken ages, all children have a similar part... They are all excited about their parts. I think your school's management of it sounds a bit rubbish, but that's not reflective of everyone's experience.

Fresta · 02/12/2016 07:59

Teachers give the main parts to kids that are confident, can remember their lines and what to do on stage, have some charisma, usually behave well, and will be unlikely to mess it all up! If your kid has a poor memory, can't speak clearly and loudly, doesn't do as they are told, can't sit still still/can't stop talking/ is too shy to speak they aren't going to be chosen to be the star of the show. Teacher's can't give equal parts to everyone, it just wouldn't work! Life isn't like that!

duskonthelawn · 02/12/2016 07:59

I agree with Exit
Doing a nativity at school might be the only time children experience what Christmas is actually supposed to be about. Get rid of that and it becomes a completely commercial celebration, which I think would be really sad.

TealGiraffe · 02/12/2016 08:02

God this really irritates me!
No the biggest parts aren't given to the PTA kids, they are given to the kids that can cope with being on stage, learning lines, and are most likely to regularly attend rehearsal. (Lots of attendance issues with certain children).

All of our year (y4) have been working their arses off since october break to put on a good show. Including sorting all costumes, creating dance routines, teaching 120 children 9 songs, giving up lunchtimes to go through it with individuals, doing extra sessions with the children with extra needs so they feel confident on stage, etc.

The show is looking amazing and we are so proud of all the kids! A hell of a lot goes into it but it's worth it. It really pisses me off when people just put it down!

You'd rather your kid do pe? Well so would we as if there was no nativity it would mean we had a hell of a lot more time and energy for other stuff. But you know what, people would complain like crazy if there was no nativity! And its a lovely end to the year.

Bearfrills · 02/12/2016 08:02

YABU. As a PP said, the big parts get given to the children best able to play them but the DC school make sure that every child who wants a part gets given a part, some of them actually are far happier sitting at the back of the stage playing fifth sheep from the left. The teachers have worked incredibly hard and so have the children, both my DC at that school have two lines each and they've been practicing them over and over to get it perfect. On the day they'll deliver their lines and afterwards they'll ask me "did you see me!?" and I'll tell them yes, I saw. "Was I good!?" and I'll tell them that they were the best elf/angel that I have ever seen in any of the plays I've ever been to and they'll visibly puff up in that way children have when they're proud of themselves for a job well done.

My only bugbear this year is that they're doing a morning performance and an afternoon performance for two days in a row. The show is 2hrs long so between dressing/undressing, breaktimes and lunch all normal lessons will be cancelled for two days. They'll be knackered from the excitement and the show itself plus DS will be up a height at the disruption in his routine.

CashelGirl · 02/12/2016 08:04

We have the littlest's daughters nursery nativity today and I cannot wait! They have been sworn to secrecy but from the mutterings and fuzzy halo talk I think she might be an angel! Eek! Xx

sleepyMe12 · 02/12/2016 08:04

DD was given a singing solo in reception last year and I'm certainly not on the PTA!
All the children were given parts that suited them.
I may have cried lots Blush

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/12/2016 08:06

Don't go then
And am pretty sure that the parents who moan about nativity plays would moan even louder if it didn't happen
And can we just do one on this pta shit

bumpetybumpbumpbump · 02/12/2016 08:10

At least they still do nativity plays. I bet sometime in the future they will be banned.

It may feel to you that the favourites get the best parts but I'm afraid you just have to suck it up.

Teachers prerogative- they can choose who they want to choose.

It's an hour of your life and you're wasting time getting pissed off if your child is not the favourite?

RedHelenB · 02/12/2016 08:12

YABU

Brokenbiscuit · 02/12/2016 08:15

I am always irritated by threads like this. At primary school, my dd was always chosen for the good parts. I am certainly no pushy parent and I don't think she was the teachers' favourite either.

I think she was repeatedly chosen because she has always been confident, able to speak loudly and clearly, good at following instructions and very quick to learn and remember her lines. She is now doing really well in secondary school drama too.

I never suggested that the children in the school netball or football teams were selected over my dd because their parents were on the PTA or because they were the sports coach's "favourites" I assumed that those kids were chosen because they happened to play really well. In fact, I never hear anyone say this kind of stuff about selection for sports teams but it comes up year after year with regard to school plays.

My dd will never be chosen for the hockey team or to represent the school at cross country, and that's fair enough, but she can recite her lines with expression and she isn't afraid to act. Why shouldn't this kind of ability be recognised?

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