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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nativity play is a waste of time...

235 replies

PointyJat · 02/12/2016 07:42

And the biggest parts are given to teachers favourites/those with pushy parents?

Ds is in year R and they've spent weeks preparing. He and his friend say they spend lots of time sitting in the hall watching the main parts 'practice'. Teacher has cancelled PE since half term for this 'practice'.

Only a few children have a big part, the rest are varying levels of nothing Grin ds is a 'villager' but doesn't even go on stage, he just sings the songs along with all of the others.

Nativity seems like a waste of time and a lot of waiting about, other than for a minority of pupils. I'd rather either all children got a part with a similar level of input, or they just stopped bothering with the play and did PE as usual. Aibu (and grumpy).

OP posts:
AlmaMartyr · 02/12/2016 08:15

YABU. Although our school picks plays where every child has a role.

DD was the 'lead' one year. Lots of muttering about how unfair it was (I was a parent volunteer at the time). I was there when the roles were given out - they asked the kids for three days in a row what role they wanted and she was the only one that wanted that part. She's confident and happy on stage.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/12/2016 08:18

Every fucking year someone moans
Just fuck off
Plenty of things in the curriculum that i think are a waste of time but we just suck it up
Home school your cherub problem solved

Lovelyskin · 02/12/2016 08:19

Our school does not do a nativity at all. It does plays on rotation so every year group does one every two years, it's a big production and far more children have a main part and everyone has a part of some type except those who prefer to sing/be in the choir. Much more democratic. I don't think we miss the nativity once they are about 7 onwards, it's cute for little kids but 10/11 year olds don't really get so much out of that, dramatically.

Eolian · 02/12/2016 08:19

My dc usually get good parts too as they are both confident, loud-voiced and good at learning lines. I'm not usually anti the Christmas play at all, whether it's a nativity or not. It's just made me think a bit when ds keeps coming home saying "All we've done is practise for the play all day yet again! It's boring and really tiring!".

ThatGingerOne · 02/12/2016 08:22

I was made the only golden angel (and the only angel that had speaking parts), the rest were silver, because I was the only ginger kid so my hair went best with the outfit Grin

Apparently a lot of parents said this wasn't fair afterwards to my mother but oh well!

NoSunNoMoon · 02/12/2016 08:24

YABU. Both DSs had big roles in the Nativity and other primary school plays.

When they went to secondary they auditioned for and got leading roles there as well and again at university. They are confident have good memories, concentrate well and don't play up.

Never picked for sport - should I have had a moan?

Florin · 02/12/2016 08:25

Our ds's was on Wednesday and it was beautiful. The teachers worked so hard on it and the kids adored it. However ours kept up with normal lessons as well as rehearsals. Our ds does pe 3 times a week and he would not have been happy to miss a single session as it is his favourite. Our ds wasn't a major part because it wouldn't have suited him but he was extremely proud of the part he did play and he did it beautifully. The main parts generally went to the September/October born children which was right as they were older they were much more capable of coping with the big parts which my summerborn child wouldn't have been. Our son has a slight speech delay and isn't good at concentrating so they didn't even know if he would manage it but he did and one of his teachers came up to me afterwards gave me a hug and told me how proud they were of him. We wrote them a card to say thank you as it was obvious how hard they had worked. All the parents marveled at how they got the kids to do it they must possess some magical powers!

blaeberry · 02/12/2016 08:28

It may well be coincidence that five children of teachers in the school always get the big parts... [Hmm] We are a very large school so there is no way all children can be involved equally. But I do strongly feel that children who get a big part one year should not be eligible for parts the next year. The other children might not be quite as good (especially as they don't have the benefit of the experience/confidence boost of having had big parts the previous years) but they will still be good and I think it matters more to give other children a chance.

My dc went to one school where the teachers were banned from spending more than two weeks on the Christmas show. It was slightly rougher round the edges but I was quite happy with that.

rollonthesummer · 02/12/2016 08:28

A primary head round here cancelled the school nativity a few years back. The parents were absolutely furious-it was all over the local papers-pictures of sad mums and children next to Christmas trees etc etc

Schools just can't win, can they!?

JackShit · 02/12/2016 08:31

At our school the same 4 or 5 children get the top parts every year Confused

jazzandh · 02/12/2016 08:31

All the songs take a fair bit of learning, I'm always rather impressed that all the children have learnt all of the words to the music.

The few lines that some have to say are actually quite insignificant to that element which they all achieve.

LunaLoveg00d · 02/12/2016 08:32

I'm PTA co-chair at our school, my kids do not get routinely chosen for main roles. None of the other committee members children are chosen regularly either. This may be because only one teacher regularly attends PTA meetings, the others probably have no clue who is actually on the PTA.

There is the accusation at our school though that it's always the same children who are chosen, and that does seem to hold water. It also seems the children chosen are the confident, extrovert, outgoing ones which is probably unsurprising when you're putting on a performance. You could also say that loud, bossy parents have loud, bossy children.

It's not a conspiracy though.

Caboodle · 02/12/2016 08:33

Mine have never had 'main parts' in the Nativity....they really couldn't have cared and loved doing them; and the adults loved watching them. It really isn't just about your own DC being the most important.

Liiinoo · 02/12/2016 08:36

YABU. Nativity plays are a proper tradition in this country Well done to all the teaching staff who work on them.

And insisting on a play where everyone has an 'equal' part makes as much sense as a sports day with no winner or losers, or an exam that no-one can fail. Children are all equal, but they are not identical. Realising that their peers all have different talents/traits/abilities, that while little Johnny might be slow at maths but is a confident and engaging actor (or vice versa), is an important life lesson for all involved.

That said, I still harbour a bitter resentment that neither of my DDs were ever the Virgin Mary!

derxa · 02/12/2016 08:36

YABU

LindyHemming · 02/12/2016 08:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieMarlow · 02/12/2016 08:40

I can never understand why everyone agrees sports teams should be chosen on merit, whereas school play parts must be doled out in the spirit of 'fairness'.

So teachers aren't aren't supposed to aspire to a good production? Hmm

dementedma · 02/12/2016 08:46

Dd1 was cruelly miscast as the Christmas fairy once. She was about 9 and VERY chunky! Had to wear tights and a tutu and was just absolutely mortified and upset about having to stand in front of every dressed like that. She stood there crimson faced, swished her want and muttered her lines almost tearfully. Was later told off for not trying!!!

toffee1000 · 02/12/2016 08:49

I've never understood the big thing about being Mary in the nativity. In pretty much every Nativity I've seen, Mary and Joseph are very minor roles, popping on about halfway through and not saying much. The star role is usually something like an angel or a sheep or a donkey or something. Even the angels/stars/choir get more stuff to do.

The weirdest experience I ever had doing a school play was when I was in Year Four. The staff made sure that we all learned these songs for the summer musical- KS2, where years 3 and 4 were the choir and years 5 and 6 got acting roles. After a while learning these songs we choir members were then told we weren't going to be involved in the musical at all, not even as the choir. WTF? They said something like "oh it's good to learn the songs"... except it was the most fucking pointless exercise I have ever done. (It was The Lemonade Kid, in case anyone was wondering. No, me neither.)

TeenAndTween · 02/12/2016 08:54

Some schools seem to go OTT on practicing. Our primary was always great, practiced enough to put on a good show, but not so much that the kids with lesser parts got all bored.

DD1 got good parts in plays and the carol service (when I wasn't on the PTA) because she was clear and confident. On the other hand, DD2 mainly had no/tiny parts throughout primary (despite me being on PTA for all 7 years) because she was less skilled.

Oh, and I only sat in the front row once for DD2's leavers show when she did have a good part. Because I got there damned early to queue. Having got my place fairly by queuing, I then went and organised refreshments for everyone else.

Teachers - you are doing a great job. The majority are happy, ignore the moaners!

TheNaze73 · 02/12/2016 08:55

YABVU. Some others got the main parts. If this is all you have to worry about, then good luck to you

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 02/12/2016 08:59

let's be honest...teachers are damned if they do and damned if they don't aren't they?

Yep.

UsedtobeFeckless · 02/12/2016 09:17

I rather liked the Nativity plays, even though I'm not religious and seriously crap at costumes ... One of my happiest memories from the DS's lower school days was the Dance Of The Random Shepherds - it was the sweetest, funniest thing you've ever seen!

Loud, confidant kids get the main parts, but so what? Sticking a quiet, shy child at the front would be nasty and counter-productive. No one moans because the best footballers make the team so why complain because the best actors get the most lines?

TaraCarter · 02/12/2016 09:17

But I do strongly feel that children who get a big part one year should not be eligible for parts the next year.

I felt the same way about CBeebies' casting decisions and Justin's tyranny. Maybe Justin's mum is on the Parent-Director-Association? Wink

Dillite2 · 02/12/2016 09:18

I am so happy to be missing this year's nativity play. And it's not even because of who plays which donkey, but because of all the arsehole parents in the audience who are unable to shut the fuck up for the 20 minutes that the play runs, toddlers running around screaming or babies crying. I know that people want to see their child on stage and might have nowhere to leave their younger children, but how hard can it be to actually leave the hall when the crying begins? Last year there even were some who were standing in the front rows blocking views. Plus I will save myself a fiver on entrance fees.

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