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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nativity play is a waste of time...

235 replies

PointyJat · 02/12/2016 07:42

And the biggest parts are given to teachers favourites/those with pushy parents?

Ds is in year R and they've spent weeks preparing. He and his friend say they spend lots of time sitting in the hall watching the main parts 'practice'. Teacher has cancelled PE since half term for this 'practice'.

Only a few children have a big part, the rest are varying levels of nothing Grin ds is a 'villager' but doesn't even go on stage, he just sings the songs along with all of the others.

Nativity seems like a waste of time and a lot of waiting about, other than for a minority of pupils. I'd rather either all children got a part with a similar level of input, or they just stopped bothering with the play and did PE as usual. Aibu (and grumpy).

OP posts:
Blossomdeary · 02/12/2016 18:56

Taking part in plays or concerts is a valuable life lesson in co-operation, working together as a team and grasping that there is huge satisfaction to be had from putting effort into something and reaping the rewards at the end. Please don't be an old grump and put your children off!

As a primary school governor I went into one school play and listed all that the children had learned from being a part of it and used this to write a governor's report on it - I was tempted to say that they learned more than in their normal lessons!

Isitadoubleentendre · 02/12/2016 19:06

I have always bent over bloody backwards to try and ensure parts are given out fairly over the years - remember being in year 4 and presiding over a debate between the kids over who had which part in year 1! And still parents moan that their child doesn't have a big enough part. You can't please everyone and once again some of the comments on this thread make me.wonder why I bother putting any effort at all into such a 'tedious waste of time'.

expatinscotland · 02/12/2016 19:06

'Taking part in plays or concerts is a valuable life lesson in co-operation, working together as a team and grasping that there is huge satisfaction to be had from putting effort into something and reaping the rewards at the end. Please don't be an old grump and put your children off!'

But they're not participating in it, well, 90% of them aren't - just a handful get to participate whilst everyone watches the same ol' boring ass story. You get a valuable lesson in enduring tedium and how you can be used to swell numbers to make others look good. Yawn. Why put effort into something when you're sole function is to sit there and someone else gets the credit?

Build confidence, my arse.

It's a fucking drag and I'm so glad mine are done with it.

DailyMailSucksAss · 02/12/2016 19:13

The best parts tend to go to the cuter kids. I had to intervene when dsd was sad at not getting a speaking role in her nativity (she's well spoken, good memory, is confident etc etc) and the teacher was quite blunt that the reason was because she didn't 'look the part' of Mary or an Angel because she was so much 'bigger' than the other kids. She's not bigger at all, she's a little plump but well within normal bmi, but apparently that was enough for the teacher to dismiss her. She was only bloody 5.

MrsBernardBlack · 02/12/2016 19:19

YABU. When DS was in Reception and year 1, his school never mentioned Christianity at Christmas at all, and there was never a Nativity play. I felt robbed. He did play a shepherd in our village nativity though, and stole the show (biased).

expatinscotland · 02/12/2016 19:29

And don't get me started on charging entry. Pay money to watch someone else's kids, same ones every year, and applaud! Nah, don't think so. I always offer mine the choice of stumping up to watch the same kids that get picked every year or buy a poke of chips. Chips win every time.

powerpint · 02/12/2016 19:37

*DMSA& what a shallow and cruel teacher, she is in the wrong job Angry

love your nickname

sandgrown · 02/12/2016 19:45

I only have a,teenager at home now and DGC are growing up too and I really miss the nativity plays. Best part of Christmas and I always shed a tear when little children sing "Away in a manger"

FoxSticks · 02/12/2016 20:02

This:

And insisting on a play where everyone has an 'equal' part makes as much sense as a sports day with no winner or losers, or an exam that no-one can fail. Children are all equal, but they are not identical. Realising that their peers all have different talents/traits/abilities, that while little Johnny might be slow at maths but is a confident and engaging actor (or vice versa), is an important life lesson for all involved.

And this:

Oh the irony.

All the threads about making Christmas magical for children. Elf on the shelf, Christmas eve boxes, mountains of presents, blah, blah, blah.

Remind me again what Christmas is about?

YABU - I love the nativity. Teachers please do the stop, you do a great job.

FoxSticks · 02/12/2016 20:03

Please don't stop.

expatinscotland · 02/12/2016 20:06

'Remind me again what Christmas is about?'

Feasting, getting drunk and presents.

corythatwas · 02/12/2016 20:11

Isn't it partly up to us as parents whether we make them feel that they are wasting their time or making a contribution when they sing in the chorus or stand around as angels?

Dd at 15 played part of a staircase in her youth theatre production: she found it perfectly worthwhile and enjoyed the production immensely. I enjoyed it too: both watching some very good performances on the part of the main actors and seeing how it all came together as a whole.

Mumzypopz · 02/12/2016 20:19

I just think that by year Six most of the kids and parents have had enough....enough of the same kids over and over again strutting their stuff and the same kids who haven't had chance to take part bored on the sidelines....surely by year Six they could do a sing sing instead.

misson · 02/12/2016 20:23

Are year six still doing nativity? I thought it was an early years thing. Older years doing a play, show or singing type thing. Acting out the same story for seven years would be boring, regardless of your role.

FoxSticks · 02/12/2016 20:35

Did they really not let your child take part in sports day mumzypopz? That seems really odd?

Mumzypopz · 02/12/2016 20:35

Yes, year Six still do Christmas plays....there are a handful of weird christmassy story lines that they rotate every year, weve had spaceships and everything....so by the time a few of your kids have been through the school you have seen every one, a few times.. and the same kids get the best parts every year. Last year I was sat opposite the camel's and village people and they were bored as , getting told off for fidgeting, waiting for their one minute literally walking on the stage and off again.....so for these parents who say all the kids love it and are learning loads, trust me, they are not.

Mumzypopz · 02/12/2016 20:40

Fix sticks...no, two years on the run he has sat there, no races at all. Apparently they ask the kids to put their hands up for races the week before and the loudest kids get picked first. Last year my ds wanted to throw beanbags and said his name got put down for it, only to be told the day before his name wasn't down. When I asked could he please do something to save him sitting there again they said no, they couldn't upset another child by taking a race off them and he would have to shout louder next year....I'm not getting my hopes up.

HairyToity · 02/12/2016 20:42

Love Nativity regardless of Dd's part. She always enjoys it too. Not worth being competitive over.

dairymilkmonster · 02/12/2016 20:56

Ds is a 'main part' this year ( 4th sheep last yr) - nativity includes all kids YR-Y2, all have at least 1 line but the bigger parts have 6 or so and best readers narrate. It is very sweet and they all seem to enjoy it.
I am not on the PTA, haven't noticed their kids being given special treatment here. I think the parts have been cast on who will not freak out, can remember a few lines and given there is a set of costumes used yearly, who will fit in each costume!!
I would just be pleased your dc is at a school who manage to fit in these extras!

burgundyandgoldleaves · 02/12/2016 21:00

YANBU at all OP.

I hate them. My children hate them. I don't find them sweet, I find them so, so boring!

Mari50 · 02/12/2016 21:13

YANB entirely U, I took my DD on holiday for a month last December as school days seem to consist of nothing more than rehearsals for the nativity and as my DD isn't one of the 'chosen few' I knew she wouldn't be missing out. Despite the protests of teachers up thread, at my DD's school it's the same faces popping up again and again and fair enough you want the kids who are confident but how do those who aren't picked get confident? When those who are picked grow more confident.
That said I do enjoy the nativity and assemblies despite it being the same kids up front, all the time.

FoxSticks · 02/12/2016 21:17

That's crazy mumyz, what a sad way of doing things.

belgina · 02/12/2016 22:05

I don't think a child not having a main part is a reason not to go & see the nativity. None of my 3 dcs that have done the nativity circuit had major parts, but I always thought that the main part did go to someone who deserved it. In our school it seems to go to the biggest character, you know, the child that just makes you laugh and seems to be a natural performer. I don't mind, my own dcs would absolutely hate having the lead.
Ds only ever had 1 speaking nativity role and 1 in the ks2 play. He wasn't the best.
Dd1 preferred to hide in the background and chose to be a stage hand one year
Dd2 Loves singing, but isn't a confident speaker, so is generally just a singing animal of some sort
Dd3 Well, we'll see, she's in preschool, but I can see her being a background kind of child too.
I am surprised at the extent of the practice though. We usually don't know the role of our dcs until about 2-3w before the event. So practicing is quite low key and last minute compared to other schools. Maybe being in a tiny 100 pupil school is the reason for that?
FWIW, I was always a background part (tree/wardrobe). The most exciting thing about school performances was always seeing my parents in the audience and I suspect it's the same for my dcs.
I am a PTA member btw, was secretary for 2y even. No big roles for my dcs! Oh and here too the parents that contribute the most are the ones with out of house jobs.

welshgirlwannabe · 02/12/2016 22:19

Christmas plays are crazy. My son's school is Welsh language and I'm not fluent so couldn't really keep up with the narrative but he was, in various years, a dog, a loaf of bread, a villager, a sheep, chorus, and fruit.

He hated doing it and I watched in quiet bafflement. It seemed to take over for weeks and weeks and probably was a waste of time. Meh. Lots of what they do in primary is a waste of time tbh.

OP yanbu but it's the way of it.

burgundyandgoldleaves · 02/12/2016 22:22

I'm not bothered at all about my children not having main parts but I hate the disproportionate amount of time given to the thing!