To wish some parents would show a bit more consideration to others

[Njcr]

On a train with a splitting headache after work. There's a family nearby and the child is watching a cartoon on an ipad. Not an issue as such but the ipad is at full volume and no headphones are being used. I know that it must be nice for the kid to be occupied for are while but it's a full train of other people. Surely it would be considerate to use headphones/keep the volume low?

But that mum might not have had a choice, would you rather a screaming child or a programme?

There is a third option - don't get a noisy device out on public transport in the first place.

I suffer with migraines so I sympathise to the max that would finish me off, if I vomited I would make sure it was over the noisy iPad . Any chance you can move seat? Otherwise politely ask if he could put headphones on or turn it down. 💐 hope you are home soon.

When people start talking about 'special snowflakes' who can't cope with headphones, then of course it going to turn into a discussion about disablism.

i was surprised on the last thread that some people thought this was ok - although the key thing there was that we were told it was inaudible, so that was a different scenario. But i think times are changing.

What will happen when more than one person does this, so that there are many ipads, plus ipods on speakers, all playing at the same time in a train or a restaurant. Will everyone have to keep turning them up?

When you start to think about it though it is an interesting question.. groups of people talking/shouting uproariously on trains are quite/very intrusive but i think considered socially acceptable. Ipads are not (or so i thought). Not sure if that's logical. A pp on the other thread pointed out that for her dc the noise of people was really hard to tolerate - so why is an ipad different?

Ds uses his own very quiet predictable noise to block out everyone else's unpredictable noise.

so why is an ipad different?

We process the sounds of natural conversation differently from those coming from a TV screen/iPad. I know there are studies out there that explain it, so I won't try! But basically yes, iPads/Pods/whatevers ARE more intrusive than people talking at the same volume.

...and we can't block them out as well.

Of course this isn't okay. How do people think parents managed before these were invented?

There is a third option - don't get a noisy device out on public transport in the first place.

If only that was an option to my autistic, sometimes violent dd. Believe me she's not a special snowflake either honkinhhaddock I just know when to pick my battles.

brasty probs lots and lots of Valium

When ds doesn't have something to focus on, he makes loud repetitive noises of his own and it usually ends in self harming and a meltdown.

Interesting brasty, on the last thread, colouring and reading and general entertaining of dc were all mentioned as oldtime alternatives ! but there was a definite school of thought that an ipad is much easier and so why not use the new technology?

I wouldn't myself go back to a restaurant that allowed it, but the economics may work in favour of it if you attract the young family demographic. Trains are slightly different as people dont have much choice about travelling - though i suppose if it takes off it may tilt some travellers in favour of the car!

My daughter won't wear headphones. She often watches her tablet on trains. Without it she'd be charging up and down the corridors, under the table, hysterically laughing and generally being loud. She has ASD.

You do know all these justifications is why you get some people demanding child free train carriages and restaurants?

Why parents specifically? surely anyone on PT who has loud music, eats smelly food, etc.

Anyone - yes, anyone - who can't tolerate or doesn't bring headphones shouldn't be doing anything on a device involving sound in a busy public space.

It's not a child thing. Ds will still be disabled as an adult.

My dd is the same, she will start running away, screaming, spitting, self harming and attackinh people, she needs something to focus on.

I have never seen disabled adults doing this.

Yes winter and as per upthread i think some 'group conversations' can be very intrusive when people are in an excited state! But for some reason i would never dream of asking them to tone it down.

Whats happened to 'quiet carriages'? Do they still exist?

I love the quiet Carriage. I would love a silent one too.

Do we ban talking in a public space as well? Ds finds that upsetting.

Quiet carriages only exist in some services. Where I live they only exist in the train to and from London, nowhere else.

YANBU

But parents are no different from anyone. A number of them are self-centred twats. Having children just gives an extra opportunity to demonstrate it.

Did you ask them to turn it down? I nearly always act on my irritation rather than sitting there stewing. Even if you get an earful, you have done something