To wish some parents would show a bit more consideration to others

[Njcr]

On a train with a splitting headache after work. There's a family nearby and the child is watching a cartoon on an ipad. Not an issue as such but the ipad is at full volume and no headphones are being used. I know that it must be nice for the kid to be occupied for are while but it's a full train of other people. Surely it would be considerate to use headphones/keep the volume low?

Reading this makes me wonder how on earth I managed to keep my DC quiet on public transport in the dim and distant days before Ipads. However I do remember the grim experience of travelling with parents who ignored their DC with the result that no one else in the carriage could do the same.

So my situation is fictitious.

Where there are two competing demands,

Ie, SN or disabled child/adult "needs" noise stimulation in public place and can't tolerate headphones

versus

Noise sensitive SN or disabled adult/child who will be driven demented by noise from iPad

then I'm afraid I think the needs of the latter group should prevail. Why? Because playing games/movies/music without headphones in public places is an inherently anti-social behaviour. It relies on the tolerance of others in that situation for it to happen.

And if someone with a disability or SN can't tolerate the noise nuisance, then the onus is on the person creating the noise to stop.

So is it just one post that is passive aggressive? Could you explain the context to me?

I have read the thread. I felt there was some over excited plain aggressive posts from others who seem over invested in proving something doesn't exist when there is a post on this thread that clearly says it's ok for your family and friends to tolerate your child with sn but you can't expect the public to. Plus plenty of overt and not so overt stuff too.

If people feel the need to explain their own situation in the context to that, I understand why. I'm not sure it will ever produce a positive outcome though on MN.

Yeah, Prawn How did anyone manage without earphones and I pads in the past.
Francis You have nailed it with fictitious..

I don't get what you want me to say. We don't agree. I don't see what there is to discuss.

I did think you meant my child was made up.
If I wasn't clear I meant that if my son didn't have his coping strategy he would have to leave. I meant forced as in having to leave, like needing to leave. It's not that anyone is evil. It's just the reality of his disability.

Petitpois (& co) I presume you are aware that life expectancy for those with severe and complex special needs was lower in the past? Alot of patients with learning disabilities were not given access to healthcare, let alone education and the vast majority were institutionalised. That doesn't happen now. Healthcare is available, as is inclusive education and because of the equality act people with disabilities are allowed to go out in public 'safely' without fear of discrimination.

I don't understand what is going on in the imaginary train carriage. Surely in a normal 'common sense' scenario the person who is the most able to move will just move? Is that too simplistic and not argumentative enough?

Just wear headphones or turn the sound off. It's not rocket science.

I had forgotten it was a train carriage. I don't take my son on public transport. Wheelchair issues and all that. So problem solved.

it seems a tad hypocritical for some people to expect unlimited understanding of their child's sn whilst completely failing to understand the needs (special or otherwise) of those around them. A bit of understanding all round wouldn't go amiss.

I don't understand what is going on in the imaginary train carriage. Surely in a normal 'common sense' scenario the person who is the most able to move will just move? Is that too simplistic and not argumentative enough?
It's not imaginary - that's what happened in the OP.
The OP couldn't move because the train was busy.
The noise of the loud ipad would affect a large number of people in the vicinity, who would be unable to move and there really was no need for the volume to be on in the first place. It may be used by some people some times as a coping strategy, but it is NOT the only coping strategy that can be used. I bet they don't use it in a number of other situations.

So Honking, your son doesn't use an ipad and he doesn't travel on public transport - why have you been so vocal on this thread about how preventing this type of thing would mean that your son would never be able to leave the house when absolutely none of it applies to you?

Francis at the moment I posted it I really did think that. And I did just mean that my son would have to go with no sound. As I have said it's conflicting needs. No judgement on whose disability matters more.

It does apply in other places MyWineTime.

Francis and I have been talking about quiet noise.

My DGC know that in a public space it's either use headphones or mute the device. Not sound turned down low, muted.

Mywinetime, you have highlighted perfectly why people misunderstand each other on here. I was replying to another scenario that had been posted above that post you quoted. At times taking a portable DVD player out with us is the only coping strategy that day but we are dealing with a child (almost adult) with severe and complex needs. Not a child who understands no and has the capacity to be slowly introduced to things.