To wish some parents would show a bit more consideration to others

[Njcr]

On a train with a splitting headache after work. There's a family nearby and the child is watching a cartoon on an ipad. Not an issue as such but the ipad is at full volume and no headphones are being used. I know that it must be nice for the kid to be occupied for are while but it's a full train of other people. Surely it would be considerate to use headphones/keep the volume low?

As I think a previous poster has already explained, the majority of children who cannot cope with headphones, have a disability. In the context it was used it was disablist.

It is the only disablist comment still on this thread.

The majority of children who use noisy devices without headphones are not sn, they have lazy parents who can't be arsed making the effort to entertain them in any other way. God alone knows why you're making such a sn point on this thread. Not relevant!

Foe the usual reasons Free to derail, and attention seek.

The poster used the words "cannot cope with headphones" not 'didn't use' or even 'didn't like'. Words make a big difference when your child is one of those that cannot cope

Petitpois have you got any contribution to make other than goading.

Oh dear Haddock I haven't met anyone either in real life or online who has as little self awareness as you.
I'm not going to engage with you at all, because your desperate need for attention is pitiful.

Sorry, but a SN's child doesn't trump the needs of dozens of other passengers. If a child cannot cope with headphones due to a condition they have, then just don't take an iPad or other device with you when travelling on public transport, then it won't be an issue.

"Freesialala

Oh ffs. No one is ever allowed to be annoyed about anything annoying EVER because of the chance a diagnosed or unidentified special need may be at play. Those posters derailing every discussion possible with disablism cries are actually weakening their own cause through sheer petty nonsense in my opinion."

Yep. Seems to be the case - if we are allowed to make that observation.

So many sensible contributions on the last two pages. It is tiresome having to watch what you say, seemingly all the time, in case your words are misconstrued. Feels like Big Brother - in the novel.

Agree Cara. I guess it's hard raising a SNs child, and I can imagine family and friends when in your space have to adapt to those needs. However, if the child is in public, you can't think that it's okay for a bunch of strangers to have to put up with unreasonable behaviour due to an entitled parent believing that their child's happiness is far more important than the happiness of all others around them.

Yes Cara Tiresome indeed. The good thing is though, there is less tolerance on threads now, for posters who seem to have an obvious agenda, or pet project.

Trying to close down discussion by shouting Disabilism doesn't work any more.
These posters are very much a minority, and are popping up less and less and not being indulged as much anymore by MNHQ which can only be a good thing.

Longdiling - I think it's safe to say that I was never 'all riled up'. That's simply not a fact. I also have already posted that I couldn't ask the mother to turn the volume down because the train was full and I wasn't sat next to them (I was by a window).
Oh and I also said how the mother commented on the loud noise - asked to turn it down but didn't follow through.

I thought 'special snowflake' meant a child who has no disabilities or SN, but whose parents consider them too special to have to hear the word 'No', and who look on indulgently whilst their little dear runs riot, annoys everyone else and wreaks havoc - and who assume the rest of the world will be charmed by the child's bad behaviour. And as a result the child cannot behave at all and is a nightmare to be around.

That's exactly what it means sdt

Not sure why this thread went off as it did.

A child that "cannot tolerate headphones" isn't being badly behaved though. It's like calling a child that uses an sn buggy because they cannot cope out of it a special snowflake. If it was used about something that is generally unrelated to sn eg being allowed to run around in restaurants, then it isn't offensive but in this case it is.

It is absolutely not the same thing haddock. That's precisely what it doesn't mean. At all. Special Snowflake has always been used to describe a child that is ridiculously indulged by their parents for no good reason. A bit like PFB is used. Read SDGT's definition again.

And anyway there was no indication that this child couldn't tolerate earphones.

It seems that you are looking for a reason to label people disablist.

Some children use sn buggies not because they are physically disabled but because they have sensory difficulties and so cannot cope with walking. Some children cannot tolerate headphones because they have sensory difficulties. If it is unacceptable to call the sn buggy users, special snowflakes then it is unacceptable to call the cannot tolerate headphones children one too.

My last word on this subject is that some of us suggest there might be SN which observers are unaware of because we know only too well the experience of strangers watching and judging us. Especially if our child appears otherwise "normal". I don't think it's inappropriate to suggest that there may be other issues at play on threads like these. Some of us live it all the time and it's hard.

I don't know, the OP doesn't know and nor does anyone else if that was the case with this child. It's hard to know but the fact the Mum told the child to turn it down and didn't t follow through with ensuring that happened suggests not. Or it could be that a meltdown (far noisier than Peppa bloody Pig) would have ensued in which case as a Mum I might have decided Peppa bloody Pig was the lesser of two evils.

It's not derailing the thread with cries of disablism to suggest these possibilities. The fact others don't want to hear how hard it can sometimes be suggests we still have a long way to go in ensuring a level of understanding.

It could simply be lazy parenting...we all know that exists too.

Haddock not one person on this thread has called a disabled child a special snowflake. Not one person has called a child with sensory issues a special snowflake.

The only children described here as special smowflshes are those whose parents indulge them and their bad behaviour for no good reason other than they (the parents) are annoying idiots. In fact, it is the parents' attitude that is being described, not even the children themselves.

So really, arguing with yourself that everybody on this thread is disablist is doing nobody any favours.

Especially as I would bet my mortgage that the child in the op had no SNs at all.

"oh someone will be along soon to say that their special snowflake can't cope with headphones"
is goady and offensive because the majority of children who cannot cope with headphones will have disability related sensory difficulties.
If "doesn't want to wear headphones" had been written instead then it wouldn't have been offensive.