To think this was unfair and unprofessional of my sons teacher?

[burgundyandgoldleaves]

My son is nine and in Year 5.

Over the years my husband has made a bit of a name for himself I daresay and has complained about various things. (I've told him not to.)

Today, DS got into a bit of trouble - nothing hugely major, he was, along with others, somewhere he shouldn't have been at lunch time. There was some rubbish in this room that they weren't responsible for. The teacher came in and started shouting at the boys for leaving the mess. DS tried to tell her they weren't responsible and the teacher shouted at him not to interrupt (fine) and "send your dad in if you're not happy, I don't care!"

AIBU or is the latter part of this statement quite unfair? DS was pretty embarrassed and I'm now trying to work this so he doesn't tell his dad!

Op, I'm sorry you're living with this. Whilst he may not hurt you physically he is definitely subjecting you to emotional abuse. There is a law against this now. It's a criminal offence. Please think about ds - do you want him growing up thinking this is how men behave? Big hugs to you, and if you do decide to do something, there's things can be done after splitting up to prevent him being 'more of a dick' when you're not together. I hope you have a friend to confide in about this

I don't know.

I might start another thread, relationships maybe. Not really for anyone to comment (although I'd really appreciate it if anyone did!), just trying to get my thoughts together? Would that be okay? Would people mind?

And please delete your internet history. There's a post which makes me think he's opened an account.

What? Where?

I would do a name change and a password change lovely. Then perhaps post somewhere other than AIBU. And don't refer to the school incidents.

Of course people wouldn't mind! You have handled yourself admirably. It reminds me of the Abba song 'Should I laugh or cry' - sorry to sound flippant, but I've been listening to it quite a bit recently, as it sums up my ex very accurately, who is similar to your DH - 'such a clever guy'. With zero emotional intelligence.

I'm really worried, Bunny

Could you pm me and let me know where?

burgundy you know how to namechange don't you, I can talk you through it if needs be.

Do that and post in Relationships and as a pp said do not mention anything about the school thing - start afresh with a new thread and there will be lots of help out there. MN at it's best when a lovely person like you is so obviously struggling.

I've started the thread in relationships. Thank you :)

Glad you've started a thread in relationships- there's some brilliant support to be had over there

OP, like Bunny advises, I really would urge you to name change & change your password ASAP.
Also, with Apple hardware, all the devices sync; so your OH may be able to read all about himself on his iPad. Apologies, if you already know this...?
Like most of the other posters on your thread earlier on, I too was of the opinion that the original event was a storm in a teacup. But reading your posts today has been really upsetting & uncomfortable. Best of luck OP & definitely name & password change

You poor poor thing. I hope you can get some good advice and clarity on making fresh steps towards a much more positive future.

Well, that all escalated rather. Burgundy, I hope you manage to find the help and confidence you need.