Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Same unwanted Christmas present every year

205 replies

TheWorldIsMine · 24/11/2016 08:34

A few years back my mum became obsessed with the "farmers market" and used to go on about it constantly. She then bought some homemade soap from there and went on about them constantly. Once when I was at her house she showed me them - awful colourful, weird smelling things that I wouldn't put anywhere near my skin but as she was excited by them, I smiled and said they were nice.

Low and behold, I ended up with a load of them as a Christmas present. I never used them but felt guilty throwing them away so shoved them in the bottom on my wardrobe whilst telling my mum they were very nice.

Next year, same thing with my mum gushing about "well I know how much you like them do I bought you more!". Slightly less enthusiastic this time (and recognising a trend) a said "oh, thanks. I still have some of the ones from last year :-) " but she didn't get my hint.

Next year, same thing but this time with granny worthy "lavender" bath bombs. She asked if I got "the soaps" so I said "yes, thank you". This time I added "although these will last me a while, I have very sensitive skin so tend to use sanex in my bath etc otherwise my skin dries out". She STILL didn't get the hint so nearer Christmas last year I made a huge point of saying "oh shame I can't use soaps and stuff as I'm sure DH would like to buy me them - but I've told him - under no circumstances get me soap as I can't use it". Can you believe, Christmas Day I still ended up with homemade soaps, lavender bath soaps and a very odd bottle of perfume (not being a snob but she knows I only use designer perfume).

I'll end up with soap again this year. How do I stop it or do I just gracefully accept to be grateful? Why is she missing all the hints???

OP posts:
Artioo2 · 24/11/2016 14:13

Say thank you for the soaps and give them to charity. Project Shoebox takes unwanted toiletries for women in refuges who are victims of domestic violence. Don't give them back to her, that's a mean idea, I would be so upset if someone I loved did that to me.

gillybeanz · 24/11/2016 14:16

I have developed so many allergies to stuff like this over the years, who would have thought it.
Tell her now before xmas Grin it's such a shame as they were nice, but awful allergy to one of the ingredients.

Scaredycat3000 · 24/11/2016 14:21

A 40 year old can be a first time mum, or a new/ish GM. The generation above could be a first time GM or seasoned GM possibly with GGC in the picture. More Grannies alive today grew up with patchouli, roses and lavender than pogoed too 'God save the Queen'. Thast what words like 'mostly' implies.
Vera Lynn?! WWII, I think most 100 year olds would struggle to waft around and would be GGGGM by now. My GM had GGGC by the time she was 80, so all 80 year olds have GGGC according to the logic on this thread Their DC & GC might like Granny smellies! What's your point other than not being good at english, history or maths?

PortiaCastis · 24/11/2016 14:22

My dd bought me a Bayliss and Harding set out of her pocket money. I had to tell her I was allergic because she noticed it was in the bathroom unused. She cried and said sorry Mum I didnt know

Scaredycat3000 · 24/11/2016 14:22

Thast [embarrassed] That's

happypoobum · 24/11/2016 14:26

OP - I really think you should be able to have an honest conversation with your mum and tell her you don't like or want this stuff - does she have form for over reacting?

Scaredy you need to calm yourself love - what on earth is wrong with you?

EweAreHere · 24/11/2016 14:30

You have to tell her.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/11/2016 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/11/2016 14:37

I wasn't telling her her stuff was a let be down btw, she was saying about all the stuff she has that she doesn't use or want (that was all presents) and that's how it came about.

Cucumber5 · 24/11/2016 14:41

Wrap them up and give them back with 'I know how much you love them' or leave them at her house instead of taking them home. Keep forgetting to collect them.

Or alternatively text and say 'mum can you buy me x for xmas. I've always wanted one' if she says she's got you soap, say that's such a shame what with you being allergic to it and suggest she wrap the soap, put it under the tree and have it as a gift from you. While you could get x, wrap it and put it under the xmas tree as a gift from her to you'

emsy5000 · 24/11/2016 14:41

Give them back to her for her birthday at least then they will get used

User1987654 · 24/11/2016 14:46

I hate smelly gifts. I'm very sensitive to smell and some of that bath stuff breaks me out in a rash. I'd be more than happy with chocolates or wine. I think scent is very much personal taste as is skin products ( allergies and so forth) unless you actually you know the person very well. I think scented products and house tat should be avoided. Give food and booze instead! Lol

HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/11/2016 14:49

I've asked for my post to be removed. I realised after The DM loves this sort of thread and my post is about a person who subscribes to the bloody thing.

PortiaCastis · 24/11/2016 14:51

Why don't people tell the truth.????

MissVictoria · 24/11/2016 15:02

I get soap and body washes every year despite my family knowing i only use Dettol antibacterial soap and shower gel. I've just sent a very frank text to one of my "aunts" and told her i'm going no contact with her from now on, so at least thats one less lot of shit presents this year.

user1471470316 · 24/11/2016 15:06

bundle them up. sell them on the farmers market. (just hope your mum doesn't buy them back off you, or you'll be back where you started)

coffeetasteslikeshit · 24/11/2016 15:06

Why don't people tell the truth.????

In my case, because my mum would act like I've just murdered a puppy.

Actually, I did end up telling the truth about the never ending stream of dog related presents (think homemade clocks, coasters, mugs, badly sketched pictures in cheap frames) in the end. It didn't go down too well and left me feeling slightly ashamed and 'grabby'. But on the positive side of things, no more dog presents.

It was dolphins before that...

WillWorkForShoes · 24/11/2016 15:19

Haven't read the whole thread so I do apologise, but can't you just tell her? I went through a similar thing with my Dad, and had to tell him ' I know I used to love After Eights, but my tastes have changed now. I would love it if you got me some Ferrero Rocher or Guylian Sea Shells'. :-)

PortiaCastis · 24/11/2016 15:29

So coffee you told the truth and didn't get any more doggies stuff. That's a result isn't it?

coffeetasteslikeshit · 24/11/2016 15:51

It is, but it was about 4 years ago and I still feel guilty That's possibly one of my issues though Grin.

Laiste · 24/11/2016 16:04

Why don't people tell the truth.???? ... In my case, because my mum would act like I've just murdered a puppy.

Same here. The most annoying bit about this whole situation is being the person who can't (for what ever reason) say those simple words ''please don't buy me this again''.

Worse still in my case my DM is happy to speak her mind with total disregard for anybody and to hand presents back a few days later if it didn't suit. While there i am still adhering slavishly to the 'always be polite and be grateful' school of thought Hmm

randomer · 24/11/2016 16:29

depending on you acting abilities......say " you'll never guess what happened Mum, I was using one of your lovely soaps and I have a rash. what a shame no more for me"

Thanks for offers of donations

PortiaCastis · 24/11/2016 16:34

Oh I see, Guess all Mums are differennt though
I consider my Mum to be my best friend so don't understand.
She'll put some money in a card and say get something nice for yourself.
She did once buy me some jeans which were okish but when I opened them she'd put the receipt in the wrapping and a note saying change if you don't like so I did as my arse wouldn't fit in them

YelloDraw · 24/11/2016 16:50

I woudl start gifting them back to her "ooh I got you some of that lovely soap you love so much" :-)

falange · 24/11/2016 17:07

Why don't people tell the truth?
Because sometimes telling the truth can hurt someone's feelings when there is no need