'No adult presents' Wibu to handle it this way?

[GrabtharsHammer]

I have a large family on my side, three siblings, four neices and nephews and both parents. We've always done Christmas presents for all.

This year my middle sister (2dc) has sent out a missive declaring they will only be buying for the children this year and she hopes we are all on board.

Well, we're not. I love buying gifts, they don't have to be expensive but I like to spend time choosing something I know they will love. My other sister is recently divorced and used to be spoilt for gifts by her Dh so she's struggling anyway with this Christmas (she also won't have her DC this year so is coming to us rather than hosting as usual). She's deeply upset by this. Not from a material point of view, but from the emotional side of receiving gifts from loved ones.

My brother is single and has no kids.

I've got three DC and although I'd be happy with no gifts for me I do want to buy for everyone else in the family.

Tbf last year she received lovely gifts from me and DSis1 and we got a tin of biscuits to share with our DH's. So her presents won't be missed! (I don't mean that to be bitchy or ungrateful but there it is).

So wwbu to just ignore the edict and carry on as usual? Would you buy for her and her Dh anyway or just leave them out and buy for the rest of the adults?

I'm a bit miffed by the tone of the text as well. It was basically telling everyone that this is what will be happening for the whole family. Well, sorry but no. It seems very bah humbug.

Sassypants82 Chris Kindle??? Do you mean Kris Kringle?

We had this situation the year my daughter died. My dh's brother and his wife decided that since they had a baby the whole family should just buy for the children. They are a pair of horrors if they don't get their own way so mil told us all to go along with it (my dh is one of four). It was a slap in the face to us that our little family was supposed to go without presents or the fun of buying many presents (only 3 children on that side of the family). We went ahead and bought presents for everyone, posted them out then went away for Christmas as we couldn't face all the arguments that first year without our dd.

We don't do adult presents in our family, just children's. Partners exchange gifts at home but don't give to other adult family members. Christmas for us is about getting together (or not!) and having a nice day. My enjoyment of Christmas Day certainly doesn't revolve around whether or not I get a present from a relative. That's silly.

My sister and I went down to £10 presents for each other and our respective partners. She's now said she doesn't want to do even that this year as they are on an "economy drive". (They earn loads but spend it all!)

I was a bit pissed off as she just sort of dictated it to me. So if I want to buy them something I will!! I too like buying presents!

Me personally I would tell her although you respect her decision, that she can only speak for herself and that you feel ur other sister needs the gifts their year more than any year, if she would like to just receive presents for her children that should be fine but shouldn't mean your other family miss out,

marmalady So sorry.

Thank you Bettersleep. I dread Christmas now because of the arguments and dictats about presents. It's supposed to be a lovely time of year about giving and sharing, not about being told who you can or can't buy a present for.