Page boys' parents won't let them wear their outfits (that I picked)... AIBU to think it's ridiculous?

[GabsViolet]

I have 2 best friends, who are like my sisters, and I'm really close to their little boys. I wanted them to be page boys - my friends were really happy about this. Now they don't want them to be, due to the outfits... They 'came to a joint agreement' whatever that means...

I'm really hurt - I also think it's a bit ridiculous!

The outfit is lovely, do you want my boys as pageboys? Pink and navy really suits them!

'No worries, I will return them. If you would rather choose your own and pay I understand. Or if the boys would rather not take part then that is fine'.

OP, don't negotiate with them! They sound like a pair of bullies to be honest. Rather than come to you and ask whether you would consider another colour/style, they have colluded and then dropped out. They must have known this would be hurtful to you. Don't let them know you are even upset. Just keep planning your wedding on your terms. If they don't want their kids involved, so be it.

The trousers you have with:

m.chateaudesable.co.uk/5007504/products/linen-braces.aspx - navy braces

Amazed that they didn't offer a reason and ask if there was any scope for change. Any reasonable person would go with your choice. Any half reasonable person would say something about being really pleased to be asked but kids refusing to wear pink (or whatever) so could we compromise.

No real friends would do/say what these two have.

You need to talk to them. If they, as parents, have issues with the colour or suit then they are being a bit odd and I'd probably cut my losses.

I wonder if they don't think they'll get the boys in pink though. I took my friends four and six year old boys to surprise her at a race for life thing, with pink t shirts that matched hers. They wouldn't wear them. I could have demanded they did but they'd have sulked like anything and ruined the day... so we made white versions instead. That said, I'm not their mum; she may have done a better job getting them into pink!

YANBU. They are being incredibly rude. And to discuss it together and then agree to BOTH let you down! Unbelievable.

Find someone else to be pageboys.

Is it all about the outfits or could you have possibly been a bit bridezilla about anything else? I'm sure you're lovely, but my lovely DSis is being a bit OTT about her wedding at the moment. She mentioned baby tuxedos for my DS who will be just 1yr at the time and I laughed. He's not a doll!

Tell them that's fine, you've found two much more photogenic children to fit the suits.

I think as parents of pageboys you get no say in the choice of outfits. You know your son will hate wearing pink? You tell him we do nice things for our friends, promise a bar of chocolate and be clear it can come off straight after photos. So if the pageboys were son of one friend and say one cousin there would be no such bitchiness going on. Your friends are not being kind.

Why has this turned into a thread full of suggestions about swapping pink waistcoats and toddlers looking weird in suits? It's not about that, it's about poor communication. The friends have given a weird non-reason for pulling out. The OP has asked insufficient questions to know whether there is a secret good reason underneath - or to be able to judge what manner of that they're being. It's not about pink waistcoats.

If you're the bride, based on those outfits (which there is nothing at all wrong with them) I seriously would not negotiate with the parents of these boys. There is nothing to negotiate.
They want their sons to be in the wedding, these are the outfits that they wear - end of.
If they don't want their sons to be in the wedding (which is the way I'd be leaning at this stage) then that's ok too but you'll be returning the suits on X date and after that date they will no longer be part of the wedding, except perhaps as a guest.
Good luck to you on this.

The outfit looks great. I would loved my ds to where them when he was 3/4.

Wow!!! That looks like normal wedding attire tonne ... is text them and just say can they explain what the problem is please as it's quite upsetting for you - what do they actually want? Spider-Man suit? Pantomime cow?

Those outfits are lovely! My 5yo would happily wear pink. I'd just send the outfits back (or sell them if you can't).

What WhatchaMaCalllit said. This isn't a committee decision. You don't need page boys. If the boys want to be part of it they wear the outfit to match the groom bestman and ushers. Or they are not part of it and wear what they like.

My 4yo DD is currently going through a phase of pink is for girls and blue is for boys - she was looking at the Toys R Us catalogue yesterday and asked DH and I to choose a toy each, but then pointed out which toys were for boys and which for girls, and said I wasn't allowed to choose a boy toy. She has been told a million times that boys can wear pink/have pink things/Daddy is wearing a pink jumper right now etc etc, but she doesn't believe us. She'll grow out of it, but perhaps your friends' DS's are in that phase?

That said, your friends are still behaving like dicks by colluding to lay down the law to you like this. I would ask them why they think the outfits won't suit the kids and take it from there.

Erm, they're pretty horrible friends! I would bother negotiating with them - they're pulling their children out of your wedding because your outfit choice doesn't suit them. How entitled can you get?! Horrible that they're been discussing it and planning behind your back too. Did they feel at all bad when they were telling you or do they feel this is a normal thing to do?

For what it's worth I really dislike toddlers/young children in suits. But if you were my friend and you wanted my ds in a suit, he'd be there in a bloody suit.

Don't negotiate. They are pathetic, coming to joint agreement my eye.

Take back the request to be page boys, don't have them at the wedding and wave good bye.

Or insist they tell you what the real reason is.

If they're close friends "like sisters" surely they should be able to be open and honest with you. I hope it works out as you wish.

Another one for no negotiation here. Just a simple "No worries. We'll not bother then" wit suffice.

Did they tell what they are doing about it, i.e. have they said they want a different outfit or that they want to pull the boys out of the wedding party?

TBH I wouldn't want the fuss of small children in the wedding party anyway, so under these circumstances I would say something along the lines that they know best what their children will wear and you thank them for letting you know. I would make it clear that the boys are out of the wedding party by saying that you think they would probably enjoy the wedding better if they are just ordinary guests anyway, and that you're looking forward seeing all of them there on the day.

There are so many minor irritations when organising a wedding, it's best to just let them wash over you and enjoy the bits that work out well.

When is your wedding? I ask as I got married on a crazy hot August day and dressed my page boys up like this and really wish some one had said no to me. The boys were sweaty, uncomfortable and half dressed all day. My dave pics are me and one of my page boys in some shorts!

Another vote for no negotiations too.

They are being ridiculous.

YANBU