Page boys' parents won't let them wear their outfits (that I picked)... AIBU to think it's ridiculous?

[GabsViolet]

I have 2 best friends, who are like my sisters, and I'm really close to their little boys. I wanted them to be page boys - my friends were really happy about this. Now they don't want them to be, due to the outfits... They 'came to a joint agreement' whatever that means...

I'm really hurt - I also think it's a bit ridiculous!

If you can't believe it's the pink, you haven't spent much time around 4 year old boys. and really, who can blame them? Pink is ruthlessly marketed at girls and they pick that up pretty quickly at nursery / reception.

Yes, of course, a 4 year old should not dictate your wedding colour scheme and yes, in an ideal world the kids would shut up and wear it. However, small children can be horribly unpredictable (even if normally well behaved) and I suspect the mothers may be worried about a show stopping tantrum ruining your day. They are probably being cagey about it because they are trying not to sound critical of your chosen colour.

Is this a thing now? MotherofPageBoyZilla

Gabs - you have been more than polite and restrained. Maybe we evil vipers can think of a truly PA way for those MotherofPageBoyZillas to get some cumuppence.... joint agreement my arse! They are self centred muppets!

Haven't read the whole thread, sorry.

When my boys were that little & we went to a wedding, I didn't go for a suit - it was too much.

Just the trousers with the shirt/waistcoat/cravat combo is enough I think.

Just seen your latest pic & update re the too much pink.

What about the navy trousers with navy waistcoat & pink cravat but leave out the suit jacket?

Aargh! Just read again properly (sorry!)

Your final choice is lovely

And congrats

I'm not sure why but I am overly invested in this thread and your friends have made me really angry!

It's your day not theirs and I want their phone numbers to give them a rollicking for being so bloody rude!

I think the new outfits look just as lovely and hope you have a wonderful day.

Glad you got it sorted out. I had my nephew as page boy. Well he was only 18 months so I got SIL to buy a shirt and smart trousers and I bought a little waistcoat and cravat. His shirt was pink and he looked stunning! Whether he would've worn it a couple of years later, I don't know but probably. My son when 5 wore a waistcoat and smart trousers for my DBro's wedding. Looked gorgeous. Love them all dressed up

It may be the kids, but from the OP it sounds more like it is the parents who don't want their boys to wear pink.

Im afraid OP we may be in for more 'pushy page boy parent' threads between now and next Feb. You might be better to cut the page boys to save more hassle, but understand you really want them there.

Both suits are lovely btw, more or less pink!

Glad you've sorted it, and you're lovely, but your friends are total twats. They discussed, plotted, and pulled their children taking part in your wedding, because 'they don't suit that much pink'? Why the fuck does it matter what suits them?

Well done for being so nice about everything. I don't understand the "pink" thing and my boys would have been happy to wear them just to keep the bride happy but obviously your friends' boys aren't so co-operative...or maybe your friends need a kick up the backside!!!

Of course the whole gendered colour business is ridiculous, but you can't blame 3 and 4 year old boys for it. They see the ridiculous tide of pink which is aimed emphatically at girls. They will learn the nuances and realise how daft it is when they develop some sophistication in their thinking - same as girls.

There's no point talking about what adult men or women think - small children react to what they see. And as others have said, a child not happy in their outfit is an unexploded bomb in a formal marriage context!

But your friends, OP, have an odd way of communicating.

Your friends are completely ridiculous.

They were being ridiculous to take against the pink like that.

Having said that, I don't like to see kids in suits at all. Freaks me out a bit.

It's just as likely the boys didn't want it though. I have never promoted gender colour coded clothing at all, yet neither of my sons would have accepted pink clothes at four. Social conditioning at its best.

It's not just as likely though as the mothers have said it is because it wouldn't suit them.

Love the outfits. What's wrong with these people?!

You need to get lots of relatives to comment loudly on the day about how nice the pageboys look and how pink really suits them.

My son when he was 3 or 4 wouldn't even have questioned the pink. He has a checked shirt with pink in it now.

It's the parents not the child I guarantee

Glad you have sorted it though

Hope you have a lovely wedding

I think the outfits are lovely, but I bet it's because it's pink!

I wanted pink waistcoats at my wedding and my mother had a strop saying my dad wouldn't wear it.

Boring cream I had then!

Pink is rather fashionable for boys these days. I saw a footie team in a very pink strip recently (was it Scotland?). DSs new school has a pink tie. In fact ds probably wears more pink than I do (and if anyone has a problem with that, he's a black belt in kick boxing, so best not to mention it).

Some people are just weird.

They do look very uncomfy for little ones. I hate seeing small boys in a suit.

Is it the expense? Do they think they will have to pay for them?

A lot of people have said "my DF/DH/teenaged son wears pink all the time so it's ridiculous for a three year old to object". The difference is that if my DH wears a pink shirt, nobody will address him as madam or hold doors open for him. Likewise if I wear a grey T shirt and blue jeans to the shops the assistant will not say "can I help you Sir"? But if a toddler/pre-school boy wears pink or a girl wears plain t shirt and jeans then they probably will be assumed to be the opposite sex because unless they have very emphatic haircuts they have no visible sexual signifiers. And it shouldn't matter of course, but to a small child just finding their own identity it really does. Of course a boy in a formal suit and pink waistcoat will not in fact be called "such a pretty little girl" but those sartorial subtleties are beyond them.

That said, the OP's friends have behaved pretty badly, but at least it's all sorted now.

Ignore me. Missed the middle page!