Page boys' parents won't let them wear their outfits (that I picked)... AIBU to think it's ridiculous?

[GabsViolet]

I have 2 best friends, who are like my sisters, and I'm really close to their little boys. I wanted them to be page boys - my friends were really happy about this. Now they don't want them to be, due to the outfits... They 'came to a joint agreement' whatever that means...

I'm really hurt - I also think it's a bit ridiculous!

They are expecting you to completely change your plans to suit them.
Don't.
Chose someone else.
And then come back and tell us what their faces looked like.

Just a quick 'aw what a shame. Thanks for telling me in plenty of time though. It means I can find someone else'

Id be tempted to send a pic of a brighter pink waistcoat and see what they say.

Don't negotiate and pander to them though.
That's the colours, like it or lump it - I bet they will soon change their views when they find out the boys won't be in the wedding party.

I think the outfits are lovely ... ask what the exact problem is and take it from there

I don't even think it's worthwhile getting annoyed with them, it's just not important enough to start a row or be snippy IMO. You have one opinion and they have another, that's allowed, even among friends.

When we got married the best man decided he couldn't be best man about three weeks beforehand. He didn't really have a reason that he could tell us, so I think it was just general anxiety. We said we understood and we looked forward to seeing him there as a guest, the last thing we wanted was drama or hurt feelings.

I'd bet good money it's the pink.

Silly people

If you want them to be page boys you need to ask them exactly what the issue is and specifically ask if it's the pink. Send a link to a different waistcoat you like as a suggestion, and ask what they suggest. There's a navy alternative on the suit link.

Or maybe we're all wrong and it's to do with it being too hot on the day.

Whatever it is, they need to communicate with you!

Don't have them as pageboys, then.

Just as an aside I'm planning my wedding as well and I've found that sometimes trying to please people doesn't work. If you don't want it please say so. I was so terrified of 'making' my bridesmaids wear something I said it didn't matter if they matched. Both my bridesmaids took me aside separately and said 'it's your wedding you tell us what to wear'. I maintained they could chose something themselves so much that when they found a dress they both liked I didn't believe them, cue lots of "are you both sure?" in the shop. This went on until my best mate yelled 'Restless just make a fucking decision!".

Stop trying to please them.

Look fine to me

Its their loss, do you have anyone else who would jump at the chance?

IF it is the pink, what do people expect?
This is the result of years of emphatic pink marketing, for everything, clothes, toys, household goods, to girls.
Just as some girls adopt it , many boys by 4 will have noticed and just as they are working out their identity as boys, will avoid anything which is mainstream marketed to girls.

Doesn't matter to a 4 year old if grown adults wear a trendy pink T shirt or Shirt - what they see for their age group, and within things they are interested in is pink for girls.

Wail! Won't somebody stop the madness?

But it may not be that- you need to get to the bottom of it.

I wouldn't negotiate with them. I would simply say "No problem! I'll cross pageboys off the list then."

I wouldn't negotiate with them. I would simply say "No problem! I'll cross pageboys off the list then."

Yes, this is perfect.

Actually i am reconsidering slightly

I do not have a problem with my boys wearing pink, but i wouldnt force them to if they really didnt want to

The pink waistcoat is very 80s wedding but that's not the point. The point is its Rudston withdraw your child because you don't like the outfit

I wouldn't negotiate, I would just say, 'ok, that's disappointing but I'll send the suits back for a refund', and then not bother with page boys - unless of course you have some little cousins or such who could step in?

Maybe, if they'd explained to you why they didn't want their boys in those outfits, I might negotiate, but not after the way they've done it. They've really upset you, but don't seem to care. Why's that?

Those outfits look lovely to me. I would have been thrilled to see my son as a pageboy in something like that - especially if I didn't have to pay for it

Have they said why they don't like the outfits? What sort of clothes were they expecting?

and Grinchy -

I wouldn't force them either - I would just send back the outfits and have them as guests.

Outfits are lovely, nothing wrong with them. Just say if they don't like the suits which fit your theme then that's ok, send the suits back and just have them as normal guests.

Weirdos and THOSE parents

That is all.

Your friends are very rude.

If you really want them as pageboys ask them what outfits they suggest and get them to pay for it. If not that bothered just cancel the pageboy idea/ask someone else.

Be a shame for it to spoil a friendship though so try not to over-react

Awful behaviour by your friends. You have had your kindness thrown back in your face and it is certainly not the childrens' fault.

My bridesmaids were awful when I married. They did not know each other and looking back, they were both dominant personalities with big egos. The one-upmanship was awful and many years on I don't have anything to do with either of them. Their vanity was more important than me it seemed.

When my dd1 got married, her dh sacked the best man a week before the wedding. We were not told why, but kept out of it. He and his wife were uninvited. Turned out that he had made a pass at my younger dd whilst out and about in town and would not take no for an answer before being set upon by her friends who hit him with their umbrellas. SIL was fuming and went straight round. Oh dear.

The wedding is about you, not about other people's tantrums. I would be rethinking your friendships and you can make a joint agreement with your dh to ask someone who would be honoured to have the role for the day.

I hate young children in suits, in fact I hate them on children younger than about 12 or 13 but certainly on pre schoolers but not as much as I hate sailor suits. Having said that I would expect my page boy to wear whatever the bride requested as that's her right on her day

Suit up, show up!

That's the rule.

If they don't want to do it, I think you've dodged a bullet- look for someone else, and congratulations, have a fantastic day!

catching the gay made me lol

I'd think little boys would be much more reluctant to wear a cute sailor suit. When my GSs went too a wedding they wanted suits like daddy and were thrilled with their navy blue pin stripes.