Page boys' parents won't let them wear their outfits (that I picked)... AIBU to think it's ridiculous?

[GabsViolet]

I have 2 best friends, who are like my sisters, and I'm really close to their little boys. I wanted them to be page boys - my friends were really happy about this. Now they don't want them to be, due to the outfits... They 'came to a joint agreement' whatever that means...

I'm really hurt - I also think it's a bit ridiculous!

Not the pink bow tie it's horrible.
You can't really an alternative as they haven't told you what's wrong with the one you chose. God knows why you are trying to please them thy sound obnoxious

The braces and bow tie are still pink so if pink is the problem then the second choice is no better.

Yes - un-pageboy them, then tell the parents that you're not having any children at the wedding after all

I would ask them for clarification. What do they mean that the outfits don't suit their children?

Some children do express strong preferences and kick up almighty tantrums if required to wear something not to their liking. However, if that is the case with these boys, why on earth did the parents agree to them being pageboys in the first place without some sort of disclaimer (e.g., "He's a bit particular about what he wears, what did you have in mind for the wedding?").

They look great, fantastic. Yes I was thinking of that, will they think their little boys will turn gay

I can't honestly get my head around it, if it is pink? All the men are wearing pink and really don't care. That's why I thought it was the fact it was too formal, so was looking for alternatives.

I thought the bow tie was nice! The pink probably doesn't sound nice, but everything goes really well with the navy and looks really nice.

Wedding is in February, so not too hot?

I like the outfits you picked. But, if you want them in the wedding, you're going to have to ask specifically what the problem is.

I will, I'll ask face to face though.

What strange friends, those suits are lovely.

Where do boys get this massive hatred of pink from?

From the unbelievable mount of shit they get from all and sundry for liking/wearing it.

Ds2 loved pink. Actually aged 3 a lot of little boys do. But then they get this barrage of comments and teasing so they "learn" it's only for girls. Some of this comes from children but an astonishing amount comes from grown ups.

Ds2 persevered with liking /wearing pink til age 7 (he wore pink boys clothes not fairy dresses). Complete strangers would come up to him and asking "if he knew he was a boy" or ask why he was using a girl's scooter. Quite a few gay "jokes" too - luckily these went over his head so he didn't have to select a sexuality aged 5.

Boys get serious, serious amounts of shit to make sure they conform to accepted gender norms.

Why do you want all the men to wear a baby-pink colour anyway?

I always think at weddings that the men would just look nicer in normal suits.

Teal friends say nothing even if it's a hideous outfit

I think that's a little unfair. It can be very hard to find something that goes with a teal friend's complexion.

I'll see myself out

Place marking for the update on what the issue is: I have a little bet with myself on whether the problem is the boys or the friends. I'm not a huge fan of the baby pink (or of preschoolers in elaborate suits) but I do think the outfit is pretty standard for a pageboy.

I haven't encountered that yet, I know a fair few little boys and they've all worn oink at various points with no comment passed. Maybe because we're all a bunch of yachties, for many of whom red trousers and pink rugby tops are very normal!

Why do you want all the men to wear a baby-pink colour anyway?

Because she and her groom have different taste to you, and like it?

How awful of your friends. It's one day. If that had been me even if I hadn't been keen on the outfit I would stil let my little one wear it as you are my friend and it's your day. I wouldn't change the outfit, just explain it's important t you you and everyone will be wearing the same. This sounds like it's he mothers problem and not the children's. Good luck! Let us know what happens.

My Dad wore plenty of baby pink in his time on this earth and remained a straight man all the way through. He always looked lovely. I really like men in pink. Your friends are being utterly ridiculous and I would withdraw your pageboy offer.

You've chosen really classy outfits and they would have looked lovely. Tis their loss.

Btw, I have 3 ds and would be weeping with delight if someone wanted them to be a page boy and was willing to pay for a beautiful outfit like that.

The outfits you chose are fine. They see basic page boy fodder. In the nicest way. The suit you chose is a typical page boy outfit. I really don't understand the fuss. What do people think page boys will wear?
If your child is part of the formal bridal party it's obvious they will be dressed formerly and not casual "just because they're only 4". Little girls would be wearing flower girl/bridesmaid dresses with all the hassle floaty/long skirts bring. I think of its a suit issue your friends are being very shortsighted and daft. Page boys are going to be dressed formally! Why did they agree if formal wear is an issue?
I think your friends are being awkward tbh.
If it's the pink that's a real shame cos it is the pink waistcoat that ties the party together.
I think you need to establish what exactly the problem is and take the matter from there.

None of my kids at 3 or 4 would have tolerated wearing a full suit like that - could that be the issue? DS1 was a page boy at two weddings when 2 and 3, and DS2 when he was 3, and they wore Nehru shirts and smart trousers (with a v neck jumper for the winter wedding). They would have had no problem with wearing pink though. I think you should ask the parents what the issue is - if its the suits (or outfit generally) then scrap the page boy idea

I personally dislike seeing boys of that age dressed up in suits (my DGS wore chinos and nice shirt). But I don't think it's a deal breaker in any way. So definitely U to object to it if it's your choice.

As for pink, it's pretty generally worn by young men nowadays I'd have thought and it's a shame if little boys take or are encouraged to against it. Certainly would very much discourage my DGS from doing so.

I thought the person whose wedding it is gets to choose the outfits So, I am really puzzled by your friends reaction.

As your friends have been quite bitchy and uncooperative about it, I'd be inclined to say "That's a pity." and never bring it up again.

If they were nice, they would have said "Oh Gabs... I don't know about the suits - they're very formal/the pink is terribly homosexual... I just think that my child will be uncomfortable/gay if he wears it - do you think he could wear this shirt & chinos/lumberjack costume instead, if we worked out the colours/straightness with you?" but they didn't. They just ganged up on you without any explanation or solution. Feck 'em. You don't actually need the hassle of herding tiny children up the aisle, you know.

I can't think that pink is the issue here. Did they want them to look like Little Lord Fauntleroy ?

I'm so bloody stressed!!! I just couldn't leave it. Have just got off the phone.

They're going to be changed to these

I can't be doing with the hassle/drama. Everyone is now happy.

Thanks for all the comments

OP I, too, am puzzled by the rejection of the suits you chose. Please do get back and tell us what the problem is.