Help. Desperate to give up teacher training.

[PamplemousseRouge]

Hi everyone.

I've posted here a couple of times before about my situation.

I'm training to be a teacher, and I'm struggling massively, to the point where I'm constantly seriously depressed and honestly struggle to find a point to still being here. Sorry this is so clumsily said - I hope I get the idea across.

I started training in August, and have been feeling overwhelmed, depressed and anxious since then.

I feel that it's relevant to add here that I also have extremely low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

I've never felt like this on such a regular basis. The depression, anxiety and inferiority that I feel is something that I've felt very day since starting, and it's never ever been so bad as now.

I also feel a huge sense of frustration, as I feel that I'm putting in a huge amount of effort but I still run out of hours in the day to get everything done. And I haven't been able to find time to look after myself properly, which I'm sure is also adding to my general feeling. I feel constantly tired, hungry and absolutely worn-out.

I'm seriously considering giving up. This sounds terrible, I know.

I'm wondering if I could look for another job at this stage? As in a non teaching job. And what my options are really. I'm particularly worried that companies and employers will overlook me once they see that I haven't completed teacher training and gave it up just three months in. Help.

I'm really, really struggling.

Any advice at all about how to help?

I've been to see my GP, who's said they'll reference me for counselling but I am still waiting to hear back about this.

Just feeling so completely down.

Bumping :)

Teach First is now amending its recruitment and training programme to take into account some of these concerns. Teach First will now be a two year course, for example.

I think it's always going to be challenging though because they deliberately pick the toughest and most deprived schools.

noblegiraffe Teach First is already a 2-year course. Participants have to complete a training year and a year as a newly qualified teacher at the same school.

It's now going to be a two year PGDE, I was at a talk by Sam Freedman at ResearchEd in September where he announced the changes.

Here's an overview: www.teachfirst.org.uk/press/teach-first-programme-changes-deliver-world-leading-teacher-training-and-leadership

I think as other have said that perhaps you should defer this training until you are in a better position mentally. I can't see how you are going to improve with the added pressure you are under. I work in education with teachers and they work so hard. School hours are the tip of the iceberg compared with planning and marking and meetings and observations etc. Get yourself well first or you'll burn out. Good luck.

Thank you for sending this link noble, I appreciate it.

Bump. Feeling very low. Sorry it's off topic, but just had 'words' from my flatmates (also teachers at the school where I work) about the cleaning rota in the house.

It was agreed that I would vacuum two floors in rhe house and the stairs. I vacuumed the floors but went to my room to have a rest for a few minutes before vacuuming the stairs.

Throughout the time I was vacuuming the floors, my flatmates had put on extremely loud music. So loud that I could hear it with no problems even when the vacuum cleaner was on. I asked them politely to turn the music down. To which one of them that it was in the kitchen, so when she went into the kitchen, she would turn it down. A few minutes later, I asked politely again for the music to be turned again, as by this time it was starting to give me a headache. My flatmates didn't reply. I waited again for a few minutes, and then asked again. After a few more minutes had passed, they switched the music off.

Whilst I was in my room, one of my flatmates came up to my room to ask if she could have a quiet word. She asked me why I had asked her to turn the music down, because 'if I had been vacuuming, I wouldn't have been able to hear the music '.

My other flatmate told my that my "attitude was very poor", and I felt that he was speaking to me as if I was one of his students.

Bump. Please help.

No one owes you a living. You need to look for a job quickly. You really aren't suited to teaching. If you have anxiety/mental health issues you are unlikely to get much sympathy from trainee teachers- who are usually quite tough characters.
Why don't you lve with your family for a while? You might get some emotional support there.

Your flatmates don't sound very considerate.

You don't sound happy there. Do you have any other options for digs?

I must admit that this type of behaviour (loud music and other things) is one thing I found a real problem in my student and house share days. It only really resolved itself when I was finally in a position to get a place with my then DP, now my DH of 23 years.

I failed so right at the end and basically wasted a lot of time and effort! Tis fine now though

Hi, I replied on your other thread, and the thing that is screaming out to me still is the current emotional challenge you are putting yourself through, a bit like everything seems like it is going wrong (the training, the flat share etc). I would say that you need to try and take one step at a time. Leaving the course is a big decision, but if it is what you feel you need to do, then do it. Leave it. Noone is going to bat an eyelid about this in a few years (although they may ask you why you chose to leave). YOU are responsible for looking after YOU. Noone else. If your flatmates are getting on your nerves, maybe it's time to move on, but all in good time. Step one, for right now, is to try and breathe and make a rational decision about this course. Once that is sorted, perhaps rethink living arrangements. The stuff with your parents, they may not fully understand, but this is your life, your mental health, not theirs. You need to do what's right for you, as scary as that might be. But I agree that you need to get on job searching as soon as possible if this is going to be a financial strain.

A flat mate share that's not going well won't help.
However, I think most teachers are used to being in charge in the classroom, and dictating terms. They also can forget that they aren't speaking to a student. But these are the sort of personalities that you will working alongside in schools as fellow teachers. I don't actually find it surprising that support is minimal, behaviour management problems a sign of weakness as the people who succeed probably are of that sort of personality.

do these flat mates know of your problems?

If you are feeling like this now, then you will not under any circumstances complete the course and then much more importantly complete your NQT year.
Whilst it may seem to you to be the wrong thing to do now, given where you currently are mentally, I cannot say anything but it would be in your best interest to quit the course now. You can always come back to it at a later date but for you the priority has to be to get into a better situation mentally, which you will never do under the current pressure you are under.

Hi everyone thank you so much, as always, for your support. You're all spot on with everything you've said, thank you.

Unfortunately, the flat share is linked with the job, so for now, I still have to continue with the flat share.

Headofthehive my flatmates only know about what I'm going through to a point. I prefer not to tell them too much, as I'm not convinced being very open with them about my feelings is the most beneficial thing, and they have not been very supportive so far.

With them, it feels unfortunately like a two against one situation.

Whenever they 'want to have a word' with me, one of them always asks to talk to me while the other flatmate is standing close by to chip in when they feel the need to or to support the first flatmate.

Thank you for the post admission. I completely agree with you.

So is it that if you leave the course you leave the flat?

I know your parents have been less supportive than you would have liked, but is there a way of speaking frankly to them about how unhappy you are on all fronts and moving back home with them for a while, even if you do get on each others' nerves for a time? Anything will probably be better than the way things are at the moment.

Do they live near enough for that to happen?

Why don't you go to the gp tomorrow, go off sick whilst you sort it out?

U firtnately when you loose confidence in one aspect of your life you do become unsure about other aspects.

Regarding your fiat mates, who decides the standard of cleaning? There is no rule or British standard that says you have to hoover either at a certain level of dustiness or at a set time interval. What is happening here is your flat mates are tidier than you. Big deal. They don't call the shots, "have a word with you..." Are they in the classroom? If DH had a word with me over the state of the stairs I'd hand him the Hoover! You are just incompatible with them.

I think that the inability to support is one of the failings of the teaching profession. It's fascinating that there is such an attitude of 'mental health problems are weakness' when statistically teaching has more people with mental health problems than pretty much any job. The other trainee teachers are not tough, they are struggling too, but are hiding it. Some will find a way through long term, others won't.

I'll never forget when teaching drove me to the edge and I went to my GP to get signed off.... When she asked me my job and I replied teacher she smiled ruefully and said 'I had a feeling you were going to say that'. Says it all really don't you think OP?

My sister enrolled in Teach First which sounds a very similar scheme, and was equally unsupported in a challenging school to the point it was making her very unwell. I talked her through all her options and eventually she decided to leave the scheme.

She is now employed as a university lecturer and absolutely loves what she does, but had other jobs in the interim and was offered quite a few roles when job hunting - she was honest in interviews about why the scheme hadn't worked out for her and it didn't impact on her employability at all.

I'm really sorry to hear about your sister, Welshmaenad. I'm so glad that she's much happier now though. And thank you for your post - it's so helpful to see that there will be other opportunities out there!!

Out of interest, could you tell me a bit about your sister's experience please (if you wouldn't mind)? Either by PM or on here (if you feel comfortable) :)

Ok... Phone in sick in the morning, contact tutor, tell them you won't be going back, tell them that you will get a GP note if required as you are unwell, find out about leaving flat, notice due etc...contact parents to see if you can move home for a short period, spend time looking for temporary Xmas jobs.

Hi OP, sorry to hear that your flatmates are being dicks. If you are resigning, you won't have to stay there much longer right? Tell them to eff off next time :-)

In terms of employment:

If you want to get into journalism, have you looked into a post grad NCJT course? It looks like that's the way in at the moment, as you can network quite a bit whilst there; lots of people from the courses seem to get paid placements afterwards. It's quite pricey though. Futurefinance might be able to help fund such a course. The NCJT also run an apprenticeship scheme were, as far as I can tell, they fund you to do a journalism diploma. The BBC run apprenticeships too which are decently paid and open in Spring 2017 www.bbc.co.uk/careers/trainee-schemes-and-apprenticeships.

In terms of moving abroad, could you teach English? TEFL is totally different to teaching in UK state schools (have done both). Way less stressful and lots of teachers are moving into it from secondary teaching. You may be able to get into it with just your degree depending on which country you want to teach in, otherwise a CELTA or Trinity Certificate is the way to go. Search for TEFL on Facebook and join a group to get more information, there's loads of great active groups on FB with friendly people who can help. Tefl.com is a good place to search for work, the British Council and International House often also have positions. There's also scope to work in the UK with these qualifications(summer schools, private schools/tutoring etc.).

For charity work, the 'charity jobs' website has good entry level positions, there's also GEM for museum education and a heritage work paid training scheme that looks interesting, although I think it's based in London.
www.culturalco-operation.org/pages/socl

Wow thank you for all of your help Crazee, I really appreciate it :)