Help. Desperate to give up teacher training.

[PamplemousseRouge]

Hi everyone.

I've posted here a couple of times before about my situation.

I'm training to be a teacher, and I'm struggling massively, to the point where I'm constantly seriously depressed and honestly struggle to find a point to still being here. Sorry this is so clumsily said - I hope I get the idea across.

I started training in August, and have been feeling overwhelmed, depressed and anxious since then.

I feel that it's relevant to add here that I also have extremely low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

I've never felt like this on such a regular basis. The depression, anxiety and inferiority that I feel is something that I've felt very day since starting, and it's never ever been so bad as now.

I also feel a huge sense of frustration, as I feel that I'm putting in a huge amount of effort but I still run out of hours in the day to get everything done. And I haven't been able to find time to look after myself properly, which I'm sure is also adding to my general feeling. I feel constantly tired, hungry and absolutely worn-out.

I'm seriously considering giving up. This sounds terrible, I know.

I'm wondering if I could look for another job at this stage? As in a non teaching job. And what my options are really. I'm particularly worried that companies and employers will overlook me once they see that I haven't completed teacher training and gave it up just three months in. Help.

I'm really, really struggling.

Any advice at all about how to help?

I've been to see my GP, who's said they'll reference me for counselling but I am still waiting to hear back about this.

Just feeling so completely down.

I am going to suggest a middle way- only do this if you can get your mental health under control. Go get some anti depressants- they will give you the lovely feeling like of caring less when the kids behave like little fockers- then just get the pgce. Then reassess- you have the qualification- you could find a job in a good school- they are out there. I worked in a grammar school- the kids were a joy. They thanked me for the lessons and were just very lovely to spend my days with but I found training in a rough arsE croydon school made me anxious and depressd.The kids can just be horrible and it is humiliating and depression producing if you are a sensitive character. There are schools out there where you will not feel like this. They are private and grammar and the kids in those grammar schools bring you all the satisfaction you thought you could get in teaching and it is now elusive.

You then can take time out- you have 5 years to get induction done right? Those meds will carry you through-but if my suggestion fill you with dread you may be too far gone so just get out. You are putting this pressure on yourself so try and go back in and not give a fock because these kids do not give a fock about how they are impacting you- they are teenagers and have zero empathy. Older kids are easier to teach- A level is a joy in an academic school.
Grammar schools are out there- try and secure a job in one and get your induction done and then you can walk away and always come back.
I feel for you-it is a horrid feeling to be depressed by the job and it is the environment you are in and sadly these schools are not unusual in the UK- but I refused to ever teach in one and so I got to enjoy teaching but my training made me feel how you describe too.

Flatmates are being dicks- you poor thing.

I agree that a lot of teachers who make it are often very blunt characters who actually are not especially clever- and that makes them less self aware than the more sensitive characters.S they have that inflated self importance and unwarranted self confidence and it carries them- they have no problem being the top dog in the classroom as they think of themselves that way.
Your flat mates sound like they may be of that ilk-bossy bastards who will indeed last the course of teaching. People like that are less prone to depression as they are very insular and never question or self doubt so it protects them. They do make for good teachers in comprehensives where a lot of the students are average/below aveage intelligence and respond more to someone being able to control them than someone who is academic- does that make sense?
You may be in a school that is a bad fit for you and a house share that is a bad fit- get the anti depressants and you will see things in a different way within a month- then make a decision when you do not feel fragile. Being depressed is the worst feeling in the world and you can not think straight right now. Get to the doctor asap. Get some nice ready meals in- watch some nice movies- take lots of hot baths and just totally look after yourself and this is going to pass.

Thank you so much unicorn for your lovely and helpful posts :) going back to your post about teaching in grammar schools or private schools, I would really love to give that a go.

At the moment, I have to commit to two years of teaching in my current school, so I'll have to stay in my current school rather than moving to a different school until after my NQT year. At the moment, I'm really concerned that my mental health just won't be strong enough to last even the next couple of months in my current situation unfortunately (school, teacher training, flatshare situation).

What would you advise in this situation?

Right now, my main option that I've spent some time considering is to resign from the teacher training. During the resignation process (I'm not sure how long it will take, but I've planned a meeting for this week to speak to my managers about it), I'm planning to sign up with tutoring agencies to tide me over while I look for more permanent jobs. Does this sound feasible?

I think you know yourself and two years is a long time. You can always teach in private without the pgce I think. I would get your self well- the job has made you ill and life really is too short. Do not make it mean anything about you- teaching may still be for you in the future but not now in this set of circumstances? When you imagine giving it up do you feel relief and excitement or sad as that can be telling. There is nothing wrong with turning back. CS Lewis once said only the fool thinks it is prudent to keep going down the wrong road. Much better to turn back and choose another road that is more suited to your temperament. You are fragile now and you need to get your strength back. Get out of that horrid unsupportive house share with the unfantastic beasts and go live with your folks or someone who is on your wavelength. Get any job just to stay occupied so you don't ruminate on it all and beat yourself up for dropping off. You are simply making a strong choice to turn back up a road that is not the right path for you. You will not be the first or the last to do this. Be gentle with yourself because you are suffering enough without laying more on yourself. No job is worth making yourself sick over and there are many more options out there. You may be too bright and too sensitive for mainstream teaching but those qualities will be rewarded in another field.

We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. C. S. Lewis
Read more at: www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis132782.html

Unicorn

Hi there,

I quit teacher training after two terms and never got a problem getting a job after wards. At job interviews etc I just say it wasn't for me.

One key thing that made me realise was chatting to another trainee who had already tried before, and was thinking of quitting again. Someone had asked her if she really wanted to be a school teacher and she could honestly say yes. I couldn't do the same. I wasn't even looking at teaching jobs either.

If it is making you that miserable then quit quit quit!!

If you can honestly say you really want to be a school teacher then stick with it.

Take it easy on yourself

Bara thank you. Right now, my honest answer is no, I don't want to be a schoolteacher. I know it sounds terrible to admit it, but it was making me feel so depressed for such a long time, and I was starting to feel really concerned.

However, I would like to be involved in tutoring. Right now, I've handed in my notice to my school, and I've been told that I no longer have to go into school. I've been looking at tuition jobs, as I've worked as a tutor quite a lot in the past and I've really enjoyed it.

My question now is about references and about explaining my current situation. Only CV right now, I don't have any mention of my teacher training. Should I put it on there, as they might ask me what I've been doing since July (when I started the training)?

Also, with references, what do you think I should do? Should I ask the parents of previous students for references? I'm not sure it's best to ask my teacher training provider and school, for obvious reasons.

Help!

And, as always, thanks so much in advance!! :)

Ah sorry - in the third paragraph on my latest post, it should actually read: 'tje only thing right now is that I don't have any mention of teacher training on my CV.'

Bump :)

Your tutor and your tutor from your degree.

you should definitely put it on your CV. For one thing, employers will be suspicious about the gap, but (and I think, more importantly) you will have developed a lot of great transferable skills. On my CV/job applications I would put the dates I did the training, and list it as if it were a 'proper' job (essentially it is). So, put down planning & delivery of lessons, any pastoral stuff (e.g. did you lead a tutor group), attending CPD sessions, working in a team of teachers etc. etc. They are still experiences you've had, even if you have left.

You need to think of a good line and stick to it. My simple version is 'I simply realised it wasn't for me and I don't think you can be an effective teacher if you don't want to be there'. No one else needs to know the finer details.

For references I used my degree tutor and a past employer.

Or you could think about going self-employed - no references needed

Thank you so much for your post Bara :)

Since leaving, I've definitely been in two minds about putting it on my CV. Firstly because, as you say, I'd rather not have a gap on my CV, and secondly because I have learned a lot of transferable skills from the training.

I'm applying for tuition jobs with tuition agencies at the moment, so I'm a bit worried that the agencies will just be confused that I've given up teacher training only to opt to apply for a tuition job straightaway. The reasons that you've given in your post for leaving are definitely what I would use to explain why I've left the role - thanks for your help. If I perhaps say something to the agencies like, 'after spending time teaching in a classroom, I realised unfortunately that classroom teaching (specifically) didn't suit me at this time', do you think this might be a good justification to use?

Popping in to say well done! I don't think you'll ever regret escaping sooner rather than later.

You ask if you should say, after spending time teaching in a classroom, I realised unfortunately that classroom teaching (specifically) didn't suit me at this time

I suggest instead of saying you didn't like class teaching, reframing it to the positives to say you did like the one to one. eg. after spending time experiencing teaching in a range of settings, I realised I excelled at supporting students on a one to one basis to build their confidence in X subject. My strengths lie in working with individuals to do XYZ and so I am now looking for tutoring role etc

Haffdonga makes a good point. If I am going for a tuition role I will say 'I realised I am most effective in supporting students 1:1 or in small groups' - its a somewhat different skill-set (I think) to classroom teaching and tuition agencies will (should) recognise this.

good luck :)