Help. Desperate to give up teacher training.

[PamplemousseRouge]

Hi everyone.

I've posted here a couple of times before about my situation.

I'm training to be a teacher, and I'm struggling massively, to the point where I'm constantly seriously depressed and honestly struggle to find a point to still being here. Sorry this is so clumsily said - I hope I get the idea across.

I started training in August, and have been feeling overwhelmed, depressed and anxious since then.

I feel that it's relevant to add here that I also have extremely low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

I've never felt like this on such a regular basis. The depression, anxiety and inferiority that I feel is something that I've felt very day since starting, and it's never ever been so bad as now.

I also feel a huge sense of frustration, as I feel that I'm putting in a huge amount of effort but I still run out of hours in the day to get everything done. And I haven't been able to find time to look after myself properly, which I'm sure is also adding to my general feeling. I feel constantly tired, hungry and absolutely worn-out.

I'm seriously considering giving up. This sounds terrible, I know.

I'm wondering if I could look for another job at this stage? As in a non teaching job. And what my options are really. I'm particularly worried that companies and employers will overlook me once they see that I haven't completed teacher training and gave it up just three months in. Help.

I'm really, really struggling.

Any advice at all about how to help?

I've been to see my GP, who's said they'll reference me for counselling but I am still waiting to hear back about this.

Just feeling so completely down.

Ok - just arranged a phone meeting with my head of department. Any thoughts on what I can bring up with her?

Anyone with any further advice/support please? :)

This all depends really on if you WANT to be a teacher. If you don't- get out now. Screw what anyone else thinks (honestly, no one will care!)

Ahhhh what is a 'good' lesson, I'd say ask OFSTED, but they don't grade anymore. And change the goalposts. And your school probably has its own ideas (which will change weekly).

I've been graded everything under the sun by OFSTED. I honestly don't give a fuck what they say is a 'good' lesson anymore. They can't judge! They're bloody useless themselves.

To me, a good lesson is: most kids engaged, a clear focus and working towards learning that skill. Note, I'd be ripped to pieces for that by those above (ALL kids just make progress ALL the time! Learn a new skill every three minutes!) but TO ME, that's the heart of it. But what do I know? I've only been teaching full time for ten years. The pen pushers in suits know far more than little old me.

I'm wondering if you're getting help for your mental health? I have been ill in the past myself. This job can destroy you if you're not on an even keel, but please believe me when I say it can also be the making of it too.

for you. It's hard.

Zep

You can still use teaching skills in jobs even though you aren't a teacher.

I still teach, from time to time postgraduates mainly. All the stuff I loved about teaching, but none of the behavioural issues.

Look at it this way. You will never regret or lose all of what you have learned on this course.

Methods of actually teaching stuff, or of breaking it down into smaller steps so that it can be more easily learned and understood are useful in many fields. Not just teaching. All is not lost, nor wasted.

Thank you everyone so so much. Your support has been absolutely invaluable I wish I could meet you all in person and thank you all for your huge help.

I've made a decision and will be handing in my notice on Monday.

Thank you again for everything. You're all incredible.

And to everyone who posted on this thread who works (or has worked) in a teaching-related job, I salute you. You are all heroes. Britain needs more people like you.

My mum is a teacher, and seriously unhappy at work, she's counting down until retirement. It's sad because she loves teaching and being with the kids, it's all the other shit that comes with it that is so stressful. I had been thinking about doing a PGCE in a few years (currently pregnant) and she's horrified that I will even consider it. She has advised me that if I really am set on doing it, then to go into it with the intention of only teaching part time because once I got used to a full time wage it would be very difficult for me to go part time if it's too stressful.

I'm really not sure what to do now, it was the only way I could think of me being able to get a well paid job, but I know I don't deal with stress well.

My first thoughts when reading your post were yes, give it up, it's not worth it. It really isn't worth feeling so ill over.x

Ahh just seen your latest post, good on you. There's no use carrying on with something that is making you so miserable. I read a news story yesterday about a teacher who committed suicide due to work stresses. Very sad x

sjj thanks for your support please please think about whether you want to do a PGCE. I don't deal with stress well at all. I'm hoping I can work on this to deal with stress better, but from what ive heard from other teachers, there appears to be many elements of the job that will remain stressful. Such a shame. And for your mum. I could have written how you've said your mum feels myself - the kids are what make the job worth it but everything else that comes with the job makes it brutal. Your mum's amazing for staying for so long. She deserves to have an amazing retirement. Hope she's making exciting plans!! Xxxx

As a teacher who hasn't returned after children....I completely understand you! I'm completely intimidated to return for so many reasons. During my training I found myself feeling utterly overwhelmed, depression crept in and I had to defer a year to sort my shit out. Was returning to teaching after a year the right thing to do...I still don't know. The pressure in teaching at the moment is immense and it will always be that way. I've certainly settled on the belief that you have one life and it should be spent happily. Having spent the past 3 years with regular counselling sessions, I would hugely recommend that process to help you listen to yourself. When you let go of other people's expectations you get a huge sense of relief and calm. I can only say to choose happiness over sadness. If you're not meant to be a teacher they'll be something even greater lined up for you. Good luck.

Sassy you're absolutely 100% right. Will you be my life coach?? (Only half joking by the way!!)

Everything you say is so spot on. Part of the reason why i delayed giving this up was because i was so so worried about what people will think of me when they hear that I've given up. I've always worried massively about what people think and I overthink everything.

You're right - I stopped worrying about what people are going to think about my decision, and I feel a huge sense of relief. It's amazing.

And I'm definitely going to look into counsel. Have been referred by my GP, and I'm now waiting to hear back.

*counselling

I could have written your post 15 years ago, OP. Had a v difficult MFL pgce with two placements (no support at all from horrible mentor in first school) followed by two years in two different state schools (first one was horrendous and second nearly as bad) and then spent my third year doing supply which was infinitely better. I then left teaching altogether and went into publishing using my languages on a fairly regular basis! I also got to do some travelling which was a huge bonus. Then I had my son and things changed career wise (I became self-employed) but I can still speak the two languages even after all this time and think they are still an asset to my CV.

You sound intelligent and focused and I really think you will do well in your future career. Don't be too hard on yourself - and good luck!

Haven't commented before OP but I wish you all the best in the future. I hope you'll feel like a weight has been lifted after Monday. I wouldn't recommend a teaching career to anyone. After I had my first baby I went back as a TA, the money is pretty rubbish but I get all the best bits and none of the stress. I hope you find something you enjoy

Thank you Inadays and Coconut! Xxx

To me, a good lesson is: most kids engaged, a clear focus and working towards learning that skill. Note, I'd be ripped to pieces for that by those above (ALL kids just make progress ALL the time! Learn a new skill every three minutes!) but TO ME, that's the heart of it. But what do I know? I've only been teaching full time for ten years. The pen pushers in suits know far more than little old me. Such true comments. I don't believe you can teach a good lesson with the 30 individual needs of children buzzing around in your head. The clue is in the word 'teaching' You are teaching pupils something new. You are leading.

I recall in one of my placement schools I was in English department. There was a woman teacher there, she was so bitchy and awful to me, felt I had no support from the dept. It was a really difficult school too. Yuk awful experience.

I think we like to believe that "behaviour management" is somehow working in schools. From what I've seen in schools and my own childrens experience, it's anything but management but a lot if pretence that things are ok. Because if we say there is no problem, there isn't. Wishful thinking.

Children seem to be a law unto themselves. How can you actually make someone behave? You can't make anyone do anything, unless they don't want the consequences. Children often don't see long term - they are different to adults in that way. Often I think consequences as time out, isolation, report cards are not very effective. Otherwise the same pupils wouldn't keep needing them!

OP - I was just about to reply with this but you have got there first!
Here's what I think - awa teacher25 years in! Still teaching in secondary...

Life is short and you are young enough to change direction.
Stop now. Stop debating it, stop analysig it, stop worrying about it, stop agonising about it. Leave the course now.

Compose a letter this weekend and e-mail it to your course tutor/ school. Keep it simple and don't go into details just yet.

If you want to, send a detailed reason later on and DO NOT be persuaded to reconsider. Your course leader may try to encourage you to stay. Start to praise your abilities etc - (they have targets and don't want people to leave.

You are not a failure, you have not 'given up'. You have tried teaching and have decided that it is not something you want to be part of.
I don't blame you.

Agencies and organisations who have taken over teacher training have no right to dump young graduates in at the deep end. Their expectations are unrealistic and methods of 'evaluating your performance' are questionable.

Just leave. Have a rest and recover.
After Christmas you can start to plan for the future. If finances are an issue, take up some Christmas work to keep you going.

Thank you everyone

You are not hopeless. You are brave to admit you have a problem. As others have said, your health comes first and if you tell future employers you did this but had to give up no one I know would think less of you. Your mum will come round and probably already regrets what she said. Good luck

Schools direct in an academyeans you are cannon fodder to be thrown at the teacher shortage. I stopped training recruits because I was disgusted by the huge & unrealistic expectations of them versus the lack of training & support they were given. It's not you, it's the system.

Given all you have said about love of subject have you considered the independent sector? Teachers are still treated like competent adults if you find the right school in this sector.

Nothing is worth this amount of stress and upset. I would just quit and look for something else. Your heart is not in it op.

As you are employed on Schools Direct have you actually checked when you can resign? You may be tied to the three teacher resignation dates, if so a resignation tendered now will mean you actually leave at Easter, it is worth checking this

You are doing the right thing in resigning.

You don't seem confident enough to stick the law, and the hours are nasty.

You do seem thorough and conscientious and you'd make a great senior civil servant whether in Europe or here (Europe sounds like potentially more fun and you have languages)!

Don't worry about taking a wrong direction, it's very common and best to acknowledge it now. Don't beat yourself up and trust in your instincts.

Good luck