Help. Desperate to give up teacher training.

[PamplemousseRouge]

Hi everyone.

I've posted here a couple of times before about my situation.

I'm training to be a teacher, and I'm struggling massively, to the point where I'm constantly seriously depressed and honestly struggle to find a point to still being here. Sorry this is so clumsily said - I hope I get the idea across.

I started training in August, and have been feeling overwhelmed, depressed and anxious since then.

I feel that it's relevant to add here that I also have extremely low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

I've never felt like this on such a regular basis. The depression, anxiety and inferiority that I feel is something that I've felt very day since starting, and it's never ever been so bad as now.

I also feel a huge sense of frustration, as I feel that I'm putting in a huge amount of effort but I still run out of hours in the day to get everything done. And I haven't been able to find time to look after myself properly, which I'm sure is also adding to my general feeling. I feel constantly tired, hungry and absolutely worn-out.

I'm seriously considering giving up. This sounds terrible, I know.

I'm wondering if I could look for another job at this stage? As in a non teaching job. And what my options are really. I'm particularly worried that companies and employers will overlook me once they see that I haven't completed teacher training and gave it up just three months in. Help.

I'm really, really struggling.

Any advice at all about how to help?

I've been to see my GP, who's said they'll reference me for counselling but I am still waiting to hear back about this.

Just feeling so completely down.

My goodness Jennifer. I'm so sorry to hear that What do you teach? If you prefer not to say, that's obviously fine too :)

And thank you very much for the suggestion about the formal letter. I'm really grateful :)

I've been allowed to have the day off tomorrow, so do you think I should draft it tomorrow and then send it?

PamplemousseRouge I told my school and course tutor in person when I left the course. Don't worry it'll be fine!

I taught English. Due to moving to be closer to mum I changed job twice in the last two years.

In the first one, the head told me that respect is earned, not deserved (subtext: don't expect any support from us unless you turn this class around yourself). Being in Wales she had plenty of time to arrange a residential trip for the most disruptive pupils prior to inspection.

In the second I asked the advice of the head on dealing with an able bit unruly bunch of year 11s. Her advice? 'They respond well to a Mars Bar'. I took pictures of two memorable report cards on which the form tutor had promised a king size Mars Bar and a can of Monster as rewards for acceptable behaviour. Shithole.

Heads haven't got the balls to deal with behaviour and couldn't teach to the standards they hold the rest of us to. Non-TLR teachers are cannon fodder.

Yes. I think you should. There is life after teaching. I've done many jobs and none of them made me feel as bad.

I've never really got why in schools so much emphasis is placed on raising self esteem of the pupils...but pulling down its teachers.

Can i just add. I was fortunate enough to have a different my career before I decided to give teaching a go. I was sponsored to do a pgce in a further education college
I am forever grateful that I was in my early 40s with lots of life experience. I could then genuinely say, when I left before the end of the 2 year course "it is you and not me". There are millions of different careers out there. Most of them are easier ways of making a modest living than teaching.

How about educational publishing?

Something like this?

www.indeed.co.uk/m/viewjob?jk=2818d373ed5176e5&from=serp

(I went into publishing when I left legal practice and it is much less stressful and I thoroughly enjoy it - but naturally am biased!)

I gave up 2 teacher trainings. One at 24 after a term and then 2 terms later when I was 27.
The second time I literally almost had a breakdown. This was not due exclusively to the training but my state of mind was not in the right frame to continue. As I didn't feel confident in myself, I didn't feel that I had much authority in the classes. Simply put I didn't enjoy it all and felt stressed, anxious and lost loads of weight.
I don't regret stopping ever as I would not have enjoyed teaching (secondary). I don't put it on my cv.

Headofthehive I couldn't have put it better myself about the self-esteem. Ironically, I had to write an essay for my PGCE recently on resilience and why it's important for pupils to develop. Before starting the PGCE, I thought I had decent-ish reserves of resilience (degree, working abroad etc, including particularly stressful internship in appallingly run Paris law firm) but now my resilience is fucked, frankly.

Deadsouls Jesus. Thanks for sharing. You're amazing. A friend of mine did a PGCE last year, and told me how it made her ill and lose a huge amount of weight. She was already tiny!!! The previous year, she'd worked as a foreign language assistant in a naice private school and had the time of her life. And then came the PGCE :( She's made of some strong stuff though. She's still in teaching, in a tough school in Britain. She's absolutely amazing.

Letter attached to a email sounds good, you'll feel much better when it's done and the decision is made. It will leave you free to research what other jobs/courses you feel might be a better fit! On my course several students dropped out in the first year and some like myself in the second year.

It was years ago when I left my course but when I think back it does make me sad, I remember not long after starting the placement I really struggled through some lesson planning as I just didn't know where to start (the teacher of course knew what topic I was meant to be covering...) after I'd done the lessons she said vaguely 'oh yeah...we have loads of resources for (whatever the topic was) in a cupboard somewhere, they would have helped you.' Yeah thanks for telling me! I don't think the school should have hosted students, they didn't seem to want me there!

I gave up my pgce about the same time as now. I was a mature student and thought I could hack it but I hated it. I got a job straight after in my old profession. My now boss did ask why I gave it up but understood completely and didn't hold it against me.

I think it takes guts to say no this is not for me. I thought (my) life is too short to put up with this shit.

Oh my god Ruhrpott are you me?!? I said exactly the same thing - my life is def way too short to put up with this!!

Please give up now. It will only get worse. You can have a decent life if you forget teaching. Be kind to yourself.

I'm glad you've decided to take the leap. Not at all the same however I dropped out of university after the first year because it made me feel how you are feeling now. A few employers have mentioned that I only completed one year when viewing my CV but upon explaining that I made a mistake and the course wasn't for me and I didn't want to waste their time or mine, they have all seemed quite happy with my honesty.

A close friend quit his PGCE last year after not coping with the work load, having no support and a frankly scary class. He is now working in a boarding school, as an assistant and he is much happier. He loves working with children and is still doing a form of teaching in his evening role as homework supervisor but isn't under any of the same pressure.

No job is worth your mental health.

Whoever said that poor behaviour is like constantly being bullied is right
Yes. Bullied by pupils, bullied by leaders.
Also bear in mind, the education system is built on lies. Everyone lies, all the time. Its like working on quicksand. Everything can change in moments and you are not in control.

If I were you, i would say It's not for me, and move on. I imagine teaching would be more of the same pressures for years to come. You've got to be 100% up for it.
If you feel you could complete the course, perhaps you could eventually work as a tutor- individual students in their home or small groups of home educated children? That way you can have more control over your workload and keep it manageable . Quite lonely though- no colleagues to support you.
There is a big demand for tutors and a teaching qualification would enable you to charge higher fees and stand out from the students just tutoring on the side, with no teaching experience.

Absolutely jack it in. I got most of the way through a PGCE, and quit just after Easter - best thing I could have done. Constant bullying is exactly how it felt for me too, and the feeling that you are working constantly but yet are never doing enough. I felt I had next to no support from my course or my school, which obviously had a massive impact (my first term school was really supportive, such a shame I couldn't have stayed there, it might have gone better).

The day after I quit, I slept so well and stress just dissolved, it was amazing. I'm so sorry you are having this horrible experience, I sympathise

If you want to work overseas and use your language skills, have you thought about teaching EFL? DO a CELTA or a Master's in Applied Linguistics and go into teaching adults (eg business English or English for Academic Purposes if you like writing)? This is what I do - the students actually want to be there and to make progress, no major issues with behaviour, etc.

I wouldn't last a minute in a classroom full of teenagers but it's a totally different story with adults. You get to do a lot of the interesting and rewarding stuff that teaching should be about and actually make a difference to people.

Thank you very much, everyone!

I'm just looking into other jobs that I'm interested in as well. I'm particularly interested in jobs related to languages (I speak French and Spanish), journalism, publishing, the media more broadly or in the government or charity sectors. I'm open to a lot of different areas, and would be so grateful if people could suggest some more roles please. I'm also really passionate about education (although it might not seem like that!!) I'm just not happy about actual teaching, I feel a bit like I was set up to fail with my course.

Thank you to the lovely posters above who've suggested roles so far :)

Ahh I can't wait for that feeling evilgiraffe :) someone I know has frequently said that 'a teacher's work is never done' :( urgh.

It would be AMAZING to just feel a sense of completion and accomplishment and think, ahhh I've achieved something today and got shit done. Is that such a crime?! cough Gove, Morgan, Greening cough

As others have said, TEFL as you can travel too. Or Academic Librarian in a university- there are specialist posts in Language libraries or working for language faculties. need to do one year post grad.

You aren't on your own. Remember that. My DD had nine, yes nine teachers for one of her GCSE subjects over the course of two years. Only in one subject did she keep the same teacher. It was considered a good school. Happy places to work and contented professions just don't have that churn.

It's not you.

What about sales for a company that has offices in France?

OP, you should be so proud of yourself. I had similar feelings during my (non-teaching) degree (ironically I am now a teacher). It takes such strength to say "this isn't right for me."

When you feel you can, I would list skills you have learned, and how you have developed as a person. Just for you, somewhere. You might not be feeling very resilient, but I bet you are more resilient than you were in August. This list will help you when applying for new jobs - if people ask about your teaching, you will have an answer. And it is a valid one.