Help. Desperate to give up teacher training.

[PamplemousseRouge]

Hi everyone.

I've posted here a couple of times before about my situation.

I'm training to be a teacher, and I'm struggling massively, to the point where I'm constantly seriously depressed and honestly struggle to find a point to still being here. Sorry this is so clumsily said - I hope I get the idea across.

I started training in August, and have been feeling overwhelmed, depressed and anxious since then.

I feel that it's relevant to add here that I also have extremely low self-esteem and low self-confidence.

I've never felt like this on such a regular basis. The depression, anxiety and inferiority that I feel is something that I've felt very day since starting, and it's never ever been so bad as now.

I also feel a huge sense of frustration, as I feel that I'm putting in a huge amount of effort but I still run out of hours in the day to get everything done. And I haven't been able to find time to look after myself properly, which I'm sure is also adding to my general feeling. I feel constantly tired, hungry and absolutely worn-out.

I'm seriously considering giving up. This sounds terrible, I know.

I'm wondering if I could look for another job at this stage? As in a non teaching job. And what my options are really. I'm particularly worried that companies and employers will overlook me once they see that I haven't completed teacher training and gave it up just three months in. Help.

I'm really, really struggling.

Any advice at all about how to help?

I've been to see my GP, who's said they'll reference me for counselling but I am still waiting to hear back about this.

Just feeling so completely down.

Teacher training is gruelling. I did mine over a decade ago, and I found it incredibly intense and had a stage where I floundered so did a repeat teaching practice. There was less strain in the profession then with changes only being every few years rather than what feels like weekly.

There's no shame in walking away with your head held high. So many teachers have had enough, and there's a bit less scrutiny on qualified trainers compared to trainees.

There's no time to be a perfectionist in teaching, although it tends to attract perfectionists and idealists. One day last year I arrived into work to find my colleague departing in an ambulance with a suspected heart attack. Fortunately it was "only" a panic attack being the breaking point of all the pressure to produce overly ambitious results to please SMT and OFSTED.

I have no practical advice to offer, but it's really not worth breaking yourself over. I'm currently "having a break" catching up on family life after a temporary contract expired. I'd like to return to the proffession, but find it beneficial to have breaks to refresh myself having worked a series of temporary contracts.

Hi< I gave up mid way through a teaching degree as I knew i hated it. During my third placement I wasn't eating, sleeping and was really really low. My Parents really wanted me to carry on. I talked to my college mentor and she dealt with it sensitively and quickly, getting me accepted onto a second year of another degree course at the same college. I still graduated the same day as my friends and went on to make more friends.
I have no regrets about my decision although I haven't got a career to talk of now but that's another story
Do what's best for you. Life is short.

I know someone who struggled to get through teacher training, like you, and was having mental health problems. Finished the course, but never ever taught afterwards Retrained for a completely different career.
Do not waste any more of your life on this if you feel it is not for you. It will soon turn out to not have been that important an episode and you will get sorted out with something else and be happier. Your parents may be shocked at first but you know they will rally round and help you find out what to do next.

Ok, that last post, that you don't know what good is any more - that IS teaching in 2016. That sums it up. I'm very experienced, have been a well-respected teacher, and I'm leaving because of that. God knows what good is, I thought i knew but every day seems to be an endless list of stuff I do wrong. Don't stay for the holidays, they're not worth it.

^^ This. I'm not a teacher but I was married to one for 11 years. I'm still married to him but he's not a teacher any more and oh.my.word. the difference in him, our relationship, our family, is incredible. He is still teaching but is teaching music on a peripatetic basis and loves his life now. It's like he got his life back - it's like we all got our lives back.

Once you've made the decision everything else will fall into place. Being in this place now, having to make the decision is the worst place in the process; once you've made it you can move on to other things. Good luck!

Haven't rtft but I struggled through a PGCE until early May then I dropped out - it was that or I was going to fail. I had to do a minimum wage job for a bit until I found my feet but after six months I got a job related to my degree and haven't looked back.
If I were you I'd leave the course now and get on with your life.

and for you, Pamplemousse, as you decide what to do...Look after yourself now in the next few days, do stuff that makes you happy, and relax a bit.
As other posters have said, there is other stuff out there, and life is too short to be doing a job that makes you miserable.
I had a horrible teaching practice, went on to teach in a tough school in London and just thrived. I eventually left teaching, it is a great job, but it you have to have a real passion for it, and you have to have a lot of resilience as there is a lot of rubbish that goes along with teaching.
Take a step back, have a rest, and then see how you feel. Don't try to please anyone else but yourself. You will be fine

If you found being an English assistant tough, then I'm not surprised you aren't enjoying teacher training. There are plenty of other jobs to do in France or Belgium. Even if you start off being an au pair or something - I don't know how old you are so this may not appeal. I'm not saying you should quit as that's a decision you should make for you. I don't think you should consider yourself a quitter if you decide to leave It's better to accept things are not working than beat yourself up and drag yourself through til next June and beyond.

Walk away with your head held high. Teaching is a shambles at the moment and schools direct should not be chucking people in at the deep end in challenging schools. Take care of yourself

I became desperately unhappy during my PGCE years ago and realised I had made a mistake. My motives were the best but I didn't actually like being a teacher. After much heart-searching I chucked it in, and felt better almost immediately.

I had no problems at interviews. If asked I just said I'd started training but found it wasn't for me. It was a non-issue. I went on to success in an unrelated field.

You say your parents are very supportive. Could you leave the course and move back in with them while you lick your wounds? Would that work? If chucking the course in seems too much perhaps you could postpone for a year and chuck it in later. None of this is the end of the world. Good luck.

Teaching is a hideous job if you don't enjoy it. There is no shame in quitting - quite the reverse in fact.

Get a job somewhere to tide you over financially while you research what you would really like to do.

Good luck!

Op. I recently left a job after 3 months. It was with a small NGO and just like you I made myself sick with worry guilt , stress.

You will feel amazing when you quit ! thousands of people train each year to be teachers. YOU need to live your life not worry about the teaching profession.

It's not your mum's life it is yours. Stop over thinking and go with your iinstinct

teaching is not worth it. (ex teacher) it was crap when I left and is probably crapper now.

I felt like this over a different career and was made to give up. It was the best thing that happened .

Oh come on OP, you're hardly alone here. As the saying goes 'teaching isn't rocket science, it's much harder than that'. It's hard if you do enjoy it. If you don't it's an awful job. I speak from experience of enjoying it for a while and then not.

Stop beating yourself up, leave and do something else.

Yes, I do think you could still go into journalism, if that's where your heart is. It's not an easy career particularly, but if you have talent and determination you can get on.
I'm freelance these days and absolutely love it. I put a lot of years in on low money on a local paper but that was largely because of my circumstances.
It's definitely worth looking into.
Honestly - I'm so glad I didn't stick with teaching.

Don't feel bad about quitting; if it's wrong for you, it's wrong for you, and your health is far more important.

From what I can gather teaching isn't the job it used to be and chronic stress is the norm. And maybe some 'thrive' or at least cope with that but if that's not you, then getting out now could be the wisest thing possible. Fwiw I think it's courageous to acknowledge that something isn't working and change course. Too often people start down a path and then get stuck because they're so worried about what people might think. You don't even need to mention it on a CV, it's not as if there's a big gap to cover up.

Just to play devil's advocate though, teacher training is notoriously tough. If you can see the woods for the trees, do you think that teaching per se is something you could see yourself doing once it's settled down a bit? Is there any possibility of going part-time?

Why did they ask you if you knew what an iron was?! Is is rhyming slang or something like that?

Sorry, a bit off topic. I agree that there is no shame in giving it up for the sake of your health. Better now then when you have a full timetable, for everyone involved.

I've moved from journalism to teaching! But I teach in further education and doing my PGCE part-time over two years, and even so, it is stressful at times.
If the teaching is ruining your mental health, then leave. If it ever comes up in an interview just say you were doing a placement but realised you didn't want to go into teaching. Your experience totally matched what happened to a friend of mine - more to do with the way her school was managed and not so much the children, though. She had to quit after a similar length of time or have a break down.
Journalism is very precarious and there aren't a lot of paid opportunities for new entrants. However, language skills are a huge asset. Look around for publications that could use your particular skills and try and get some work experience. Find a good training course and find out what you need to do to get on it, then make sure while training that you try to get published as you go along. Perfectionists don't make good news reporters because of deadlines - on the other hand, you may turn out to be a very good feature writer/researcher/editor!

Pamplemousse, does this quotation help…"Your vocation in life is where your deep joy meets the world's deep need"? It is a bit pie in the sky but it might help you decide. How will you feel when you look back on this? Happy? Or frustrated you didn't pursue something else?

If you do love aspects of the job, are there things you could do to maximise that? What do you need to do to keep that enjoyment open? Will it be possible to do that within the constraints of PGCE training and school politics?

Good luck!

I think you need to look at this differently: quitting now is not your failure in any way. In fact, it is you doing the sensible, logical thing: a teacher who is suffering to this extent is no good to either the students or themselves.

The failure here should be laid at the door of a system which is so relentlessly driving teachers into the ground. Please do try to view this as the fault of Schools Direct and the Education Dept, not you.

I suspect that maybe you would make a very good teacher, as your Dad predicted. But that is not what is wanted in schools any more. You have to be good at so many other things, in addition to teaching, that they really are asking the impossible.

None of this is your fault. If you quit now, you will be able to see things so much more clearly, without the pressure of the job weighing you down. You'll be able to make sensible decisions about the rest of your life without feeling you're backed into a corner. You don't have to keep suffering like this.

Leave and don't feel guilty. You need to put yourself and your mental health first. You will get another job and no job/training is worth sacrificing your health. You are a student teacher so honestly do not feel bad for leaving for the children. They are incredibly adaptable and I presume they all have permenant teachers who will just take the classes back anyway.

The PGCE year is incredibly stressful but it doesn't get easier or less stressful as an NQT so if your mental health is fragile its best to get out now.

If you do stay then make sure to take time to unwind. My hod at my first school told me she firmly believed in 'mental health days' - days off to recover. She also prioritised exam classes and didn't stress about, eg, displays, marking year 7 books regularly, etc. I think in order to survive teaching nowadays you have to prioritise one thing over another and ensure you take time off in the evenings, weekends and holidays or you burn out. I have seen so many people do that.

Thanks again everyone.

Just out of interest, would you be able to help me with some careers advice please?

I apologise for taking this thread slightly off-topic - I'd be really interested to hear what your thoughts might be on where I could go careers-wise if I decide to no longer continue with teacher training.

I don't mean to drip-feed at all or be purposely secretive, but I'd just like to reveal as little as I possibly can on here but still give you a good idea of my background if that's okay?

I've got an Oxbridge modern languages degree, and worked as an English language assistant in schools abroad before university and in my year abroad. I've had a lot of journalism experience (national and local newspaper work experience and articles published - paid commissions and unpaid - in national newspapers), and I wrote for newspapers whilst at uni. I love writing, anything to do with literature and languages, and anything related to culture, travel, current affairs as well.

I would be interested at this stage at looking into law as a possibility purely because, if I'm honest, it's totally new for me. I realise now that's probably quite a bad reason to look into it, and I feel that the stress, hours and expectations are much more demanding than teaching/teacher training. I am also aware that law firms require candidates for positions to have a lot of legal experience even for internships, and that the internships are very competitive, so I'm not holding out hope! Any lawyers who are on here, I'd be very keen to hear your insights into this please :) (also, I don't think my grades are good enough.....)

I'm also very, very interested in a career in the Civil Service. Particularly the Foreign Office. I applied last year for the Fast Stream, but didn't get past the initial testing round. I'm wondering if it's worth another go? I'm quite tempted to be honest. I'm aware that if this job opportunity ever became a possibility, it would be extremely demanding (I don't think, for example, that the workload/stress/expectations will be any lower than teaching necessarily, I just feel that perhaps it would be more in line with my interests and values etc.)

Any other potential careers ideas, please please keep them coming. I'd be hugely grateful!

I found my training overwhelming and unmanageable.

I suffered from anxiety and depression. I was constantly tired and stressed. I didn't eat properly, I barely slept. My memory was terrible and my daughter missed out on a lot of my time.

I'm now in my NQT job. It is 1000% times better. Still stressful and hard work but I am enjoying it so much more.

Sorry, I haven't RTFT but are you doing a 1 year or 3 year course?

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time at the moment. I've been there myself so do understand. Your post struck a cord with me as I have deferred my own PGCE start until 2017 as am currently expecting in March so couldn't have finished both placements this year.

I have a history of anxiety and depression myself and because of this have found it difficult to not get overwhelmed in the work place and have been through jobs like knickers! But the teacher training is something I wanted to ensure I would complete hence the wait. I also have low self esteem and beat myself up about not getting it right constantly. So can I be honest with you? I don't think the problem for you, from what you've said, is the course itself but more so your state of mind which will stem from a much deeper issue. I would try and stick with the course, recognising that you're not feeling very well at the moment so how you feel about things may be somewhat distorted and seek help and support wherever you can. I'm sure you're not the first the uni has come across to be struggling.

Are you on any meds? I found they really really do help. They just level out all the emotions so things feel a lot more manageable. I resisted for years but have been taking them regularly for over a year now and feel the best I ever have.

Good luck with it all and do post as to what you decide. xx

I was going to suggest Fast Stream Civil Service. My husband does this and is a lot less stressed than I am as a teacher. Unlike teaching I think it's quite a humane environment!

I think law would be as stressful as teaching so maybe best not unless you have a passion for it.

What about speech therapy? Your language experience might be useful and you're working with people in a similar way to teaching but more flexibility of setting, eg, in a school, prison, hospital, etc.

I would be interested at this stage at looking into law as a possibility purely because, if I'm honest, it's totally new for me.

IANAL, but I don't think this is a very good reason to do law. It's a complex subject with expensive training and I don't think it's the time to dive into another demanding and lengthy training process just because "it's totally new".

Honestly, what I'm getting is that you are currently very motivated by status and how things look on the outside. You started teacher training despite not being particularly drawn to teaching, and you're now thinking about law for fairly flimsy reasons, and I can't help wondering if it's because you find it hard to deal with the messiness and uncertainty of most career paths outside the traditional "professions" and want something you see as having a straight and linear progression path.

Can't you take a break? Get an admin job. Temp for a while, even. Get some counselling, build your resilience, try and get your perfectionist tendencies in check. Do some informational interviews and explore different careers, but don't make any decisions for a while, and definitely don't jump straight into another course.