To expect to be fed at a kid's birthday party?

[Lalunya85]

Took my two DC aged 2 and 1 to a birthday party this weekend. The party was for a girl turning 3, organised by her parents who are close friends of my DH.
First part of the party was at a playground in a local park, second half at home. We were invited for 11 till 4pm. It took us 1.5 hours each way to travel to the party.

Day before the party they rang to say that we should bring snacks for the park. Fine, we got some baguettes, humus, fruit etc. Around 6 families were there, all with one or two kids. Assumed everybody would share snacks in the park. Turned out that nobody was sharing, so we just ate our own snacks which we thought was odd but fine.

Then we all transferred to their home at around 2pm. It was freezing and everybody was cold. Kids were hungry. At their house they served water. And when I asked we got a cup of tea. But that was literally it.

It was a fun party otherwise, but is it the done thing to not offer ANY food at a kid's birthday party??

Disclaimer: both my partner and I are from different countries so are now wondering whether this is an English thing? Have we been overfeeding our guests at our parties for years???

Wow, what a party! 😂

I have never been to a party that lasted that long, but I would of expected the kids to get fed at least!

I always provide food and drinks,I also have the parents having a pick at the nibbles

Weird

So basically they hosted a party that cost them completely fuck all?

No, it's not the norm.

At a child's house party where we've invited parents to stay, we've had kids buffet or made up boxes (like mcdonald's boxes) and included all the usual stuff (sandwiches/sausage rolls/nuggets etc) with an ice-cream buffet (sprinkles of various descriptions/smarties/marshmallows/sauces) for afters. and then we've done an adult buffet, with breads, meats, cheese, quiches, chicken kebabs, samosas, salad etc. plus cake etc and wine/beer/soft drinks too.

I'd always provide refreshments and food for the adults. I just couldn't bring myself to be so rude as to not offer the adults anything. Some people !

On a side note, do people really ask the hosts for a cup of tea when they visit? Why wouldn't you wait to see if you were asked (and if not, got one later)? I would never ask for anything in someone else's house except perhaps a glass of water.

And presumably you had a drink with your lunch? I don't get how grown adults can't go a few hours without a drink! At least they offered water.

So they didnt feed the kids either? That is very odd. I wouldnt expect to feed the adults at a party, but would offer drinks, but the kids should definitely be fed!

No livia you wouldn't ask.

Cos you should be bloody offered...

Blimey, that's really odd. I recently had my daughters 5th birthday party and supplied all guests with snacks, then lunch and even gave soup, bread and cheese board for the parents as it was over lunchtime. YANBU!!!! (But maybe I'm just a feeder!?)

Yes if I was freezing I would ask for a cup of tea.. 5 hours not been offered a cup of tea is rude ...

If it cost you 15 bucks then it doesnt sound that British 🤔

• 5 hour part for a three year old sounds really weird.

• Outdoor party for babies and toddlers in November in the U.K. A bit weird (was this this weekend?)

• no food sounds even weirder.

• weirdest of all would be for you to stay for the duration of the party with a 1 and 2 year old. I'd have left after a couple of hours.

No cake??????

I've got some relatives like this...so mean, you just know that you'll visit and sit there for hours and hours and be lucky to even get offered a cup of tea ...once even had to sit watching them eat sandwiches, whilst offering us nothing..we were there 5 hours! Bizarre.
Their kids' parties are always held in a local park and everyone else has to bring the food.

We've even been contacted by them, before we'd left home, to drive to visit (around lunch time) and told there is a " lovely pub outside the town, on your way" to visit if we were hungry, could we fit it in BEFORE we get to their house!! Yes we get the hint

We're expect to feed children and adults, however long the party. I have been to many parties where there's been just enough food for the children. Often it's fallen around lunch time and I've been too busy getting kids ready and ferrying them there to eat. So I make sure everyone is well catered for at my parties.

Livia it sounds like OP DID wait to see if asked but that didn't happen so she asked.

I think under the circumstances, asking for a cup of tea is FAR less rude than inviting people to celebrate your child's birthday for four hours and not feeding or watering them properly! Offering them a glass of bloody water! How embarrassing!

Of course it's polite to offer but if someone doesn't, surely you just resolve not to visit again or whatever. Not everyone has tea and coffee in the house (particularly if they don't drink it). But I just think it's rude to ask for things in other people's houses.

Gourme why would you even go there for 5 hours? I'd never visit them again!

I'm still confused - was there no food provided at all - either for adults or children?

That's the point - she wasn't offered it so it was rude to ask

Wow how extremely tight fisted. They are doing a party that length of time, of course they need feeding, especially the kids, or on the invites state that people need to bring food. Totally unacceptable.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta. You must have much more formal friends than me. I don't think I have any friends where I would be too uncomfortable to ask for a cup of tea. I'd be polite and I'd offer to make it if they wanted.

Hmm that's really odd although I'm from Northern Ireland and rural Northern Ireland at that therefore I always make enough food to feed the entire uk and Ireland at any party for both adults and kids

livia, I think if I hadn't been offered a drink, I'd presume they were too busy organising party games, or it was an oversight and I'd offer to put the kettle on.

I've never drunk tea or coffee but even when I lived alone, I always had it in for visitors, surely it's the first thing you ask people when they come in the door?

Fair enough, I'm just surprised. We all move in different circles, I just wouldn't dream of asking, I would wait until I got home if it wasn't offered. ^^

My daughter has s party every year and I have caterers bring good to the venue.
Nothing fancy just kids stuff : chicken coujons, pizza, sausages, chips and drinks all buffet style do parents can dig in too. Always provide tea and bigger and wine/ beer for parents who stay.
I'd say that party was for misers.