To expect to be fed at a kid's birthday party?

[Lalunya85]

Took my two DC aged 2 and 1 to a birthday party this weekend. The party was for a girl turning 3, organised by her parents who are close friends of my DH.
First part of the party was at a playground in a local park, second half at home. We were invited for 11 till 4pm. It took us 1.5 hours each way to travel to the party.

Day before the party they rang to say that we should bring snacks for the park. Fine, we got some baguettes, humus, fruit etc. Around 6 families were there, all with one or two kids. Assumed everybody would share snacks in the park. Turned out that nobody was sharing, so we just ate our own snacks which we thought was odd but fine.

Then we all transferred to their home at around 2pm. It was freezing and everybody was cold. Kids were hungry. At their house they served water. And when I asked we got a cup of tea. But that was literally it.

It was a fun party otherwise, but is it the done thing to not offer ANY food at a kid's birthday party??

Disclaimer: both my partner and I are from different countries so are now wondering whether this is an English thing? Have we been overfeeding our guests at our parties for years???

I always feed the parents too, so do most other party hosts around here.

No, that's bizarre! Even if it's not a party, surely you offer people you've invited to your house something to drink at the very least!

And a party (especially in the park in November!) should include party food. And a going home bag.

That is not a typical English party (except for the cold house - I'm afraid that is a weird English thing)

The kids are too young to go to the party on their own. I would always make sure to feed adults as well as kids, but understand that can be too much work or money for some, so fair enough. Maybe a cultural difference. But the kids, surely!!

For the record, both my kids were invited.

And its true they're not swimming in money, living off one income (maternity leave). But as PP have said there are so many super cheap thing l you can feed people. I wouldn't expect anything fancy, just something filling.

Glad to hear IANBU though and can expect some food at the next kiddie party...

I just find it very strange. They are lovely people really, just a bit funny when it comes to hosting.

They may act like lovely people but really they're tight as a duck's arse. Did their child receive presents? And they couldn't even stretch to some sandwiches and Aldi soft drinks? Jesus.

Oh, sorry forgot to say, there were party bags to take home. And some balloons. Just no food.

A five hour party for toddlers? My weird radar would have been going off when I read the invite, to be frank. No food is just incredibly odd. I always cater, even if it's a two hour party not straddling a meal time. It takes two minutes to put some frozen sausage rolls and chicken nuggets in the oven.

The palaver you went to wasn't a party! Going to the park and bringing your own food doesn't count! Cheeky sods.

Normally, parties are either held somewhere where kids get food and adults can buy something as required (so coffee and a muffin down at soft play) or you'll get tea/coffee, maybe crisps or biscuits at someone's house. In both cases the adults also hoover up leftover sandwiches and so on after the kids have eaten. It's not a full meal situation but you'd get nibbles.

Don't go to any future parties these people give. They're either incredibly cheap or totally clueless.

Yes, we brought a lovely present which cost us 15 bucks.

A five hour part with no food???? That's totally bizarre.

I'd always expect food to be served and when I host I do a lunch/ tea for kids plus some nibbles for the adults!

If you invite guests over a normal time for meals you should feed them.

So in this case there should have been lunch for everyone (unless they made it clear you were to dump and leave, in which case you find a nice pub!)

Feeding parents optional if it's not over a mealtime, though they invariably minesweep - never been to a party where the DC actually finish what is laud on for the. And DC should always be fed at a children's party.

Always nice if good tea and coffee can be laid on for parents. With naice biscuits.

No cake. I opened the fridge to get milk for the tea. Fridge was jam packed with quiches and bakes etc. Some cake too. Maybe there was another party we weren't invited to??? Maybe for a family party the day after.

Tighter than cramp.

I have a feeling that perhaps they had a fight over who should do the cooking for the party or whatever, and in the end both sulked and nothing was prepared.

They are nice people, but they do have form and for arguing over stuff like this...

Very odd - especially if their fridge was heaving. As a nation of feeders this is totally against the grain!

Some people are just socially inept. No other reason in my view.

no not a British thing, just cheap and nasty.

Good Lord, parties round here, even early morning ones include copious prosecco for adults, food for everyone etc. How else are kids' parties bearable?

We went to one a few months back where only the kids were catered for and there was talk of little else on pick up in the playground for weeks

If it is over meal time, then you serve at least a light meal (sandwiches, pizza, sausage roll type things). If its from 2-4, then you at least have snacks. Certainly if its 5 hours long you serve food! how odd of them. Also, if it is a picnic in the park for the lunch (which wouldn't be unheard of) they should have called it that and said "bring lunch" so you knew that was the main meal.

Thought you were gonna say it was a couple of hours mid afternoon

Not feeding people at a five hour party over lunchtime is weird! Especially knowing how far you'd come

I wouldn't expect to be fed as an adult, but definitely food for the children and a drink for adults.

No, this isn't cultural it's simply cost related. When I had parties for my daughter I didn't cater seperately but I put on enough to feed the parents and invited them up to eat when the kids were done, in fact insisted m as well as a few bottles of wine and teas and coffees. I can't comprehend having people in my home and only offering them water.

So suspect there was a cost issue at play, but not offering teas and coffees and biscuits, which cost very little seems strange to me.

I think if you're asking adults to stay for a 4 hour party, you HAVE to feed them! All the comments about not usually feeding adults aren't taking the length of this one into consideration.

I always feed adults who're coming to my house for a party for children!

Very inhospitable.
We have always done parties and fed whoever turned up.
Adults, siblings, and party children, we know how to throw a party in the North and aren't cheapskates wrt who we feed.
kettles always on and as long as you don't expect anything more than party food you'll love it.
There's always loads left over so we send people home with doggy bags for later
Some people are really cheap.

You should expect there to be at least a tea aimed at the kids. Normally, the kids go berserk at the prospect of Unlimited Crisps and Icing and leave all the sandwiches, which fall to the adults. I also provide wine, because I'm good like that .

I've yet to be to a party where the children weren't fed and there's usually been something for the adults too.

we normally feed children a full party spread and adults get samosas and various other snacks laced with wine and beer. plus everyone gets cake and allowed to dive into anything left by children once they've eaten. when we were less well off there were usually bits of food from Iceland and tea

sounds like you've come across some stingy people. most British people enjoy a party and party food