School: "no babies allowed"

[Lardeedar]

My DD's primary school insists that for all school meetings, nativity plays and parents evenings, no babies or toddlers are allowed to come. I have a toddler that I look after at home, and I'm perfectly capable of keeping him quiet (phone, iPad and lollipops given rarely enough to be novel seems to work) or failing that, I have curtesy and common sense enough to remove him from the location if he does decide to pipe up!

The school just assumes I have a nan up the road on hand to babysit whenever I want but I don't. These meetings or plays are always 2-3. Both my parents are working, as are my siblings and friends, they have jobs and the two that don't have their own kids and school runs preventing them from helping out.

I'm expecting my third child now and am really upset about all the plays and meetings I'll have to miss because they won't let me in with my newborn. Even if I did have available childcare I resent being obliged to leave my (probably breastfed) newborn for any amount of time for such a stupid policy. Is this normal? Are all schools like this??

I am surprised that schools do this. No need really. If your baby really does start crying and you are one of those that refuses to step outside, presumably the Head could request that you do.

However, We all need a back up plan. There are times when you can't take kids to places. Many appointments and medical issues can be re-arranged but some can't. That's when you need your dh, dp your mum, a friend, a back up, fellow classmates mums, someone .... a babysitter.

People need to arrange to have SOME sort of back up.

The trouble is, Oblomov, that the head having to work her way through the crowded pews to have a word with parents (some of whom would, I am pretty sure, just get arsey) would cause even more of a disruption! When there are so many who seem to be unwilling to use the crèche provided and ignore their screaming babies - it is difficult to keep a lid on it, which I guess is why the head (in our case) has had to threaten a ban.

Oblomov - I am sure the Heads of schools with bans have tried the less extreme options first, before going for the defcon 1 option.

Sadly this is one of those things where the bad behaviour and thoughtlessness of the minority (and I mean the parents, not the toddlers) has spoiled things for everyone else.

I somehow doubt missing the Christmas play will impact on a child's emotionl, social and cognitive development. You are just being disingenuous.

I actually couldn't care less either way. It doesn't impact on me. I just think it's silly to make such a big deal over it for preschoolers.

Are you conducting some sort of social experiment with your children, zzzz? You do seem a little hung up on the idea that your children are different to the norm. Why is the school play such a massive event for you?
I know that a personal question; I'm just curious how your aspirations for your children are in any way impacted by them seeing the school play

Oh. I'm sorry; that was crass of me. Apologies.

I have no interest in changing your mind. I'm just failing to understand why the school play is such a big deal? Really and genuinely? There are plenty of other school events (or there were in my primary school) - like sports days, school fun days, Christmas fair etc that all children could participate in.

I found it was my older child(ren) who were more interested in seeing their younger sibling(s) perform and of course that wasn't possible either unless they were allowed in to the dress rehearsal. I took my then 11 year old to see his elder sisters in their secondary school musical and he was bored and restless! My nerves would have been wrecked with him as a preschooler, and in fact were when I took him to church on Sundays! I could tell tales that would make your hair stand on end...!! He's 13 now, bright and beautiful boy, but he still isn't keen on school shows/concerts, even though nowadays he is a participant!