Were we being unreasonable?? Genuinely don't see the problem...

[Alexandriaaaa]

We are away for a few days with DD who is almost 2.

She has had a very busy day today. Swimming, walking, soft play etc. She's tired tonight. Hotel has a family restaurant so we booked a table for 5pm so the three of us could eat together. DD had a kids meal. Busy, noisy restaurant, kids everywhere.

DH and I were feeding DD her food and having the odd mouthful of our food in between. When DD was finished we continued eating. She was colouring in but she got bored and started to moan and cry. Didn't want to sit on either of our knees, wanted to get down and explore, so I gave her my ipad and put peppa Pig on YouTube. She sat quietly in her high chair for ten minutes while we finished our food. Literally ten mins, no longer than that. Volume was right down, but the restaurant was pretty noisy so I can't see that it would have made any difference anyway.

I saw a wee boy at a nearby table craning his neck to see Peppa. He asked his mum could he come over to watch. I tried to catch her eye to say that was fine if he wanted to. But she said to him (I don't think she knew I could hear her) "no, we don't watch tv at the table. it's bad manners and a bad habit and that little girls parents shouldn't be letting her do that

Not so nice really. I'm not bothered TBH, I just don't really see the harm in it, it's not like it was disturbing or affecting anyone else, or like she was plonked in front of it and ignored for the duration of our meal. But is it bad form?? Were we unreasonable??

hmm your argument doesn't really make sense as it only applies one way.

surely the PeppaPigee is just as sure they are right

(disclaimer this post applies to Peppa Pig with the sound on. Silent Peppa is 100% acceptable)

OP said it was a noisy restaurant and the sound was right down.

OP also didn't make any rude remarks.

Either way, Pissed off Parents comments were not about the sound.

Mistress - the sound must have been loud enough for the 2 yo to hear, otherwise what was the point?
And if it's loud enough for them to hear, then someone at a nearby table with good hearing could also hear it.

Zoe You're right, there were other options like attacking me or DH, screaming at the top of his voice or repeatedly slamming objects down on his high chair (and when the objects were removed, slamming his head on the high chair. You'd have been judging me a lot more witnessing that watching him with an iPad.He was assessed for SNs but they concluded that he didn't have any. He was just very difficult .Fwiw, I do worry about how much time children and young people use screens but the example the OP gave is when they can be a lifeline.
I'm definitely not a lazy parent, have always done loads of things with them, taken them to places, done all the baking and craft stuff (badly) and shivered on the sidelines watching my DCs playing football.
However, I don't get the point of making parenting unnecessarily difficult. If you end up leaving a restaurant without finishing your meal because your child is grizzly and bored when giving them an iPad or phone would mean everyone could finish eating in peace, that's just being a martyr as far as I'm concerned.

I can promise you I would hear that fucking theme tune through any kind of hubbub

Actually you are lucky she didn't just smash the bloody thing

Out of interest those that would be annoyed and feel that the comment was justified, would you feel the same if the people at the next table allowed their child a big sticky dessert and the other family was one that doesn't allow sugar or big desserts?

I think those who would judge us for ds using a device to calm himself, will also judge us for him being in nappies, not being able to talk, being in a sn buggy etc. Just ignorant.

JUST TURN THE FUCKING SOUND OFF

honestly is it so hard to understand

AwaywiththePixies27 I made the mistake of banning her from the tablet for a few days once upon a time. She usually has it for 30 minutes after school to help her regulate, and because I banned it, she couldn't regulate herself well. It was actually then that I realised how much it helps her, because as you said, she goes into her own little world and de-stresses from her day!

Is it ok to tell people on the next table to stop talking.? My son finds that annoying, even distressing.

JUST STOP FUCKING JUDGING

honestly is it so hard to understand?

tell you something I judge parents for having their heads buried in their phones / tablets and ignoring said screaming child than I do a child having ten minutes screen time.

And parents who have to give their kids an Ipad to avoid getting a beating is exactly the kind of thing that can happen when you let tantrums and public embarrassment effect your parenting choices.

Yep that's right differentnameforthis , only thing I ban DS from is the videos with swearing in. Not because I'm an uptight arse, I swear like a navvy myself sometimes. But he has a habit of repeating what he's heard at least 182 times and would rather not have him swearing.

MsHooliesCardigan I got that with DS too, had all the signs, head banging, meltdowns, not wanting to or engaging in sharing play activities at nursery and speech and language delay. His was put down to the terrible twos and being difficult, oh and me struggling to be a parent too, which was odd as his older DS is perfectly well behaved.

He's 7 now and in the process of being diagnosed with AS.

Also, no I don't have a problem with older kids or 10yos watching or playing on the phone/tablet if not eating. Sometimes, us grown ups can be a bit boring

I saw a mum in a cafe only yesterday drinking her coffee and then reading a book with her toddler when her toddler got cross and bored

after this thread I felt like giving her a fucking medal

I think that having a cup of coffee with a toddler in a cafe is very different to eating with other adults in a restaurant...

This thread is literally going to go forever.

'Stop judging.'
'I'm not judging, YOU'RE judging'

If the very low volume Peppard pig theme tune was bothering the other woman or her child she could very easily have politely asked if the op would turn it off/down rather than making a snidy passive aggressive remark that was clearly louder than the noise if op heard it

Goodness me so much angst, rage and judgement here. I reckon a few posters ought to practice a little inner calm. You don't get to dictate how other people behave. All you can do is manage your reaction to it. It sounds some people really struggle with this. All that intolerance and rage can't feel very nice. After all I'm sure most other people wouldn't give a shiny shit about your festering rage about their child's ipad. I know I wouldn't. So you're just left with that feeling aren't you.

Not left with the feeling if you complain loudly and within earshot.

Must have been quite cathartic for her.

Well I suppose so in the ops case as she felt quite anxious about it. I don't know many, if anyone, that would care that much in real life tbf. Hopefully the op will come to understand that and ignore the passive aggressive fruitcakes that walk amongst us.

*older DD not DS sorry.

In RL, I think that being very judgemental is something that mainly occurs with those with very young children or no children. It is a bit harder to be judgmental of the minutiae of other people's parenting (and I think ipads for ten minutes at age 2 certainly comes into this category) when you realise that their children might actually be better behaved, more academic, better at sports etc etc than yours.

No festering rage here. Just commenting on a thread where the op has specifically asked for opinions. The long term implications of shoving an Ipad at a child when they whinge is other parents problem to deal with not mine.

I haven't seen anyone on here advocate 'shoving an iPad at a child every time they whinge' The OP said that her DD had an action packed day so was tired so got a bit whingey. The OP then gave her the iPad for
ten minutes. I agree that it's not a good strategy to cope with every parenting difficulty by bribing the child with a gadget or threatening to remove it but that's nothing like what's being described here.