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AIBU?

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Original poster

Were we being unreasonable?? Genuinely don't see the problem...

621 replies

Alexandriaaaa · 13/11/2016 19:16

We are away for a few days with DD who is almost 2.

She has had a very busy day today. Swimming, walking, soft play etc. She's tired tonight. Hotel has a family restaurant so we booked a table for 5pm so the three of us could eat together. DD had a kids meal. Busy, noisy restaurant, kids everywhere.

DH and I were feeding DD her food and having the odd mouthful of our food in between. When DD was finished we continued eating. She was colouring in but she got bored and started to moan and cry. Didn't want to sit on either of our knees, wanted to get down and explore, so I gave her my ipad and put peppa Pig on YouTube. She sat quietly in her high chair for ten minutes while we finished our food. Literally ten mins, no longer than that. Volume was right down, but the restaurant was pretty noisy so I can't see that it would have made any difference anyway.

I saw a wee boy at a nearby table craning his neck to see Peppa. He asked his mum could he come over to watch. I tried to catch her eye to say that was fine if he wanted to. But she said to him (I don't think she knew I could hear her) "no, we don't watch tv at the table. it's bad manners and a bad habit and that little girls parents shouldn't be letting her do that

Not so nice really. I'm not bothered TBH, I just don't really see the harm in it, it's not like it was disturbing or affecting anyone else, or like she was plonked in front of it and ignored for the duration of our meal. But is it bad form?? Were we unreasonable??

OP posts:
hedwig2001 · 13/11/2016 19:33

You can't win. If your daughter had been crying and fussing because she was bored, no doubt it would have annoyed someone.

Bluntness100 · 13/11/2016 19:33

Neither of you are unreasonable. You have the right to let uour kid watch at meals and she has the right to tell her son no and explain why.

Meadows76 · 13/11/2016 19:33

As the parent of 2 autistic children I know only full well how the iPad/to/phone etc can be the difference between going out for lunch and not going out for lunch. Everyone that judges the use of these gadgets at a dinner table can fuck right off as far as I'm concerned. I would ignore the comment, I partly think she was being a dick, but part of me realises that perhaps her son has a reason for not being allowed and if she relents once she would have a massive battle on h hands, so it's easier to pass the buck and say you are wrong as an explanation to her DS

glitterandtinsel · 13/11/2016 19:34

No. what a rude woman. She ought to get a life, honestly...

llangennith · 13/11/2016 19:34

I was allowed to read a book at the table when I was at a meal with adults. Probably to stop me being a PITA. It's boring waiting for adults to finish their food! Before iPads etc I took toys cars or crayons with us, anything to keep my DC occupied.
Now it's iPads. Rather a child entertained by a gadget than being a whiny nuisance.
You parent your child your way.

hopscotchegg · 13/11/2016 19:35

The only unreasonable bit would have been you saying it was fine before his mum had a chance to say otherwise. The question wasn't for you to answer!

Original poster
Alexandriaaaa · 13/11/2016 19:35

Genuine question - for those who don't allow them at the table...what would you do with a fractious, tired two year old who didn't want to colour or engage in chit chat? Would you abandon your meal? Not being facetious I would like ideas to try!

OP posts:
LeftRightUpDown · 13/11/2016 19:35

Time moves on..

Colouring books have now been replaced by gadgets. Can't see what the issue is

perditalost · 13/11/2016 19:35

To have the volume on was totally unreasonable. It should have been on silent or have used headphones.

QuackDuckQuack · 13/11/2016 19:35

We don't let ours have an iPad or equivalent in a restaurant if we can avoid it and certainly wouldn't ever have any sound on in a public place (restaurant, train etc). I'd avoid making comments about the parenting of others, but wouldn't let my DDs join other children watching an iPad.

Blueberry234 · 13/11/2016 19:36

I don't like iPads etc at the table but that is mainly due to going out with my outlaws where 10 out of 14 people are on them, or portable DVD players, it's embarrassing.

I have to admit if my 2 year old starts being a monkey rather than iPad one of us will cut our meal short and take them out of the restaurant

ThatStewie · 13/11/2016 19:38

No volume or headphones would be fine. I'd be very annoyed if I had to listen to Peppa Pig in a restaurant - even a noisy kids one.

YoHoHoandabottleofTequila · 13/11/2016 19:39

I would rather she looked at an iPad than sat there whinging or crying. Sometimes colouring just doesn't cut it.

Matchingbluesocks · 13/11/2016 19:40

The OPs child is under 2 so will colour for approx 3 seconds before ripping up the book and eating the crayon Grin it's really not that easy to keep them sat down and quiet at that age.

We occasionally use iPad in ghe situations you describe- not whilst the majority of the table are eating but to stretch out is being there without a tantrum a little longer. Ours just want to get down and run off otherwise. That said, it's probably one time in 5, not something automatically reached for

MotherFuckingChainsaw · 13/11/2016 19:41

I am a definite user of any tech possible to occupy a child

In a restaurant though I'd stick to silent games or colouring apps if I hadn't brought headphones. ( princess colouring app is a winner here)

So I'd say, NBU for use of an iPad; a bitU for having sound on in a public place ( but better than the sound of whining child) she WB fucking rude for commenting.

TheClacksAreDown · 13/11/2016 19:42

I used to look down at using iPads etc in restaurants. Until DS1 hit 2 and started complaining big time when bored.

He is generally allowed it after food whilst we are finishing or occasionally if there will be a big long wait for food and he is tired and grumpy. But always with kiddy headphones. If I don't have the headphones with us it is on silent. I would never have Peppa Pig coming out the speakers - that isn't nice IMO for other diners even if the restaurant is noisy.

Matchingbluesocks · 13/11/2016 19:42

OP we have the most success with sticker books in terms of non gadgets

5moreminutes · 13/11/2016 19:42

It's funny isn't it that many people think reading at the table is fine but watching a video isn't, especially if the logic is that it detracts from family time. I don't understand how a book detracts less from family time, especially if the child can read.

I can see why it's privately annoying if you've already said no to your own child, and whether her comment was rude depends a bit on whether she meant anyone but her own child to hear.

I remember getting into trouble for reading at the table and being told it was bad manners and I should be joining the conversation...

That said I never had an iPad and never gave my kids my phone.. think that's because it's my phone not because of manners Smile

I think you might be a bit unreasonable for spoon feeding a 2 yo meaning you couldn't eat until she'd finished though Wink but you probably have your reasons...

teacher54321 · 13/11/2016 19:42

That wouldn't bother me at all-DH has a driving game on his phone that ds loves that is solely for use when kept waiting in restaurants or waiting rooms etc. Last weekend we went for brunch, DH and I read the papers and ds played on his computer game whilst we waited for our food. We sat in companionable silence. I was surprised the other day at an adventure playground where a family of three children were all playing on the equipment whilst watching programmes on their iPads. So looking at them whilst on the swings/going down the slides.

Matchingbluesocks · 13/11/2016 19:43

(For 2 year olds)

amysmummy12345 · 13/11/2016 19:43

None of her business, your child, your dinner, your choice Smile

whyohwhy000 · 13/11/2016 19:44

perditalost But it was noisy in the restaurant anyway.

I would certainly prefer to hear Peppa to a child crying. The sound of an infant crying has a very deep psychological effect on older children and adults (which is why the CIA have used it as a torture method).

user1479065482 · 13/11/2016 19:45

Not at all. I don't understand why people get their knickers in a twist about screens.

My TV only comes on for dinner time :)

I wouldn't have dreamed of commenting and the women who did was a smug, rude cow.

Original poster
Alexandriaaaa · 13/11/2016 19:45

She was eating tomato soup and I stupidly didn't pack enough spare clothes.

That's my reason for feeding a (not yet) two year old.

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 13/11/2016 19:45

This is something that always gets people annoyed on these threads but personally I don't see anything wrong with it. I think it is far worse manners to let an obviously bored child be disruptive and fidgety and cause an annoyance to others. And I don't see why parents should be total martyrs and leave their meal, that they've paid for, to remove the child from the restaurant either when they can amuse them for ten minutes in some other way.

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