So a not quick update.
Since I last posted here. I've got married and we've moved house 80 mins away so a new court jurisdiction.
We finally went to court and were asking for 3 things.
1 he'd finally agree to them changing school. They actually changed a year ago but he's refused to sign and school have insisted on both signatures. It's the top school in our area and is particularly hot for languages which is important to us as kids are bilingual. He made me jump through a million hoops and get a million bits of paper and then still refused to sign.
- That the DDs could officially continue to not see him. They haven't seen him since Jan 15 by their choice,
- To have his parental rights removed. (A massive ask as next to impossible to get, but a life changer for me.)
The girls had a private hearing with a male judge in April. Youngest DD felt it went badly. Started getting hideous eczema afterwards.
We went to court in June. Seriously hot day. Last hearing of the day. Court running an hour late. Judge was unexpectedly a woman. And best news Dickhead was representing himself.
Results came back a week ago. The Facebook thing was thrown out but that's not all....
My new and actually rather good lawyer argued that he is an alcoholic and a professional victim. She read out the low points of his epic emails slating me, his mother, my DH and eldest DD. which made him laugh cos he thinks being a dick is hilarious. No one else was laughing.
His argument was to produce his CV, and a copy of all his diplomas (Karate included) to prove that he couldn't have said all these things or be an alcoholic because he's a teacher. Judge Said put them all away. Not relavant. Being a teacher is not mutually exclusive with being a bad person.
Judge said so the school thing do you agree? He said yes .... if the girls agree to see me. She said no. Do you agree, or do you only agree if they see you. Exh said yes I agree. So done and dusted in 1 minute.
Point 2 seeing the girls.
Judge "do have you anything to say about your DDs"
So he talked about his mother, his grandmother.
Judge: "The girls."
"Waffle waffle." (No mention of DDs)
Judge "The visitors centre last time?"
"No that was crap. Don't want to do that"
And that was pretty much that.
As I was waiting to leave, the court clerk came came up to me to say I was very brave, which I took to be a good sign.
Results are
1 school, signed
2 girls never have to see him again
3 he lost his parental responsibility
Youngest DDs eczema has gone.
He does have a month to appeal. But he'd have to produce new evidence. So one of life's champagne moments.
We can now write a new will in the knowledge that he will never get his hands on anything. Amongst his other charms he's a compulsive gambler with massive debts. It's taken 9 years to get here but here we are.