Man in the ladies loos AIBU?

[HairsprayBabe]

First apologies for typos or spelling errors I am on my phone.

I am currently at an even where 95% of the attendees are men. I just went to the ladies and saw a man coming out of the cubicle. I told him politely he should not have been in there. His response was "Fuck of love".

I am annoyed he was in the ladies in the first place but raging he felt he could speak to me like that! AIBU to think that men shouldn't go into the ladies loos?!

Or I might if tell you to fuck off because it cuts you off quicker and I don't have to deal with unpleasantness

Are you not concerned you might run into someone much more unpleasant than you who might give you a smack in the mouth in return for your "fuck off"?

Yanbu

You were rude.
He was rude.

How was she rude?

the perception of men as a group is that they're base animals, with no control over themselves at all

No one is saying that. What they are saying is that

• as a sex males pose a danger to females. Most crimes are commited by males. Most crimes against women are committed by males.
• you cannot tell the "good" men from the "bad" men just by looking - hence why we have sex segregated spaces
• womens who have experienced or who are aware of male violence may well be uncomfortable performing intimate acts in the presence of any male - hence why we have sex segregated spaces

I just can't imagine getting so worked up about someone in a public toilet that I had to post on MN to validate my baseless anger.

Ok, a man was in there. How do you know he isn't trans? How do you know he didn't walk into that toilet accidentally? How do you know there wasn't a huge queue in the men's and he was desperate?

Find something genuine to be pissed off about. This is a waste of anger.

FWIW, if you're rude to someone, don't be surprised when they're rude back to you.

Are you not concerned you might run into someone much more unpleasant than you who might give you a smack in the mouth in return for your "fuck off"?

Can't say I am. Most people I've come across are just unpleasant busybodies.

Toffee your son is an accompanied child. What good reason would a lone adult male have to be in a female only space?

No, because a woman is much less threat to a man than a man is to a woman. Especially with sexual crimes.

I was referring, obviously, to men being more exposed in a men's room than women are in a ladies' room. The vast majority of men are not criminals or peepers or anything else untoward, but any man using an open urinal is entitled to feel uncomfortable at women being present when his genitals are exposed.

I've used the men's loos on a night out, there's never a queue especially at theatres!

How do you know he isn't trans?
Not relevant. He was a male in a female only space. How he identifies in his head is not relevant.

How do you know he didn't walk into that toilet accidentally? How do you know there wasn't a huge queue in the men's and he was desperate?
I would suggest the correct response in both of those cases would be an embarrassed apology, not "fuck off". And he was still a male invading a female space.

If he was in there accidentally surely most reasonable people would respond with "sorry" rather than "fuck off." Same if there was a huge queue for the men's. If he identified as a woman, despite being 100% male presenting, he could understand the confusion and explain without the "fuck off love". I still don't see how the OP was rude.

Cubicles mIght be bust in the gents and he needs to use a cubicle. Just off the top of my head.

Trans gender Female to male. Because toilets are divided according to sex not gender apparently....

How the fuck was the op rude?!

He was in a place that he has no fucking business being then was aggressive towards a lone female in an enclosed space.

Fuck me people will do whatever they can to defend scummy men.

Ffs.

Cubicles mIght be bust in the gents and he needs to use a cubicle. Just off the top of my head.

It's a hotel. I'm sure there is more than one set of male toilets. If not, then an apology would have been more appropriate than "fuck off"

Trans gender Female to male. Because toilets are divided according to sex not gender apparently.
In that case as a woman, they should have been more understanding of the alarm they would cause, and apologise.

"Invaded" a woman's space...

Having worked in corrections, I can assure you that women are just as capable of violence as men are.

How was the OP rude exactly?

OP, if I were his boss I would definitely want to know why you're not doing business with my company. His arse wouldn't touch the floor.

And for those who are wondering , all these individuals are trans women insisting on access to sex segregated space (and one using it to perv on women)

pluto all evidence everywhere in the world for the entirety of human history says you're wrong that women as as violent as men.

Not on mumsnet pluto

we are rapists and abusers

Women can be violent of course. Are they equally as violent as men? Do they commit sexual offences at the same or similar rate?

Bloody hell of course women are not as violent as men.

Toffee your son is an accompanied child.

And when he grows up a little more?

I am not an accompanied child, if he has run ahead into the gents not the ladies (because to disabled is occupied and hes learnt he "shouldn't" be in the ladies ) and I have to follow him

Or in France where the disabled loos are often also gendered.

There may be a small portion of the population for whom unisex toilets are a problem. There are far more for whom gendered toilets are difficult and challenging.

Hermione, and prisons would say you're incorrect. As would corrections officers. But don't let facts stand in the way of a good story.

Feel free to continue to bury your head in the sand, thinking that women are incapable of extreme violence. If you'd see half the shit I have, you'd know that's untrue.

Having worked in corrections, I can assure you that women are just as capable of violence as men are.

If you work in corrections you are coming across a particular cross-section of the population. If you look at the prison population as a whole you will see women are an obvious minority. Males commit far more crime. They are also as a population taller, stronger and have a penis.

Pluto, you are looking at a subset of all women, those that are in prison. Do you think the rates of violence in the general non-prison population is the same as in prison?