Man in the ladies loos AIBU?

[HairsprayBabe]

First apologies for typos or spelling errors I am on my phone.

I am currently at an even where 95% of the attendees are men. I just went to the ladies and saw a man coming out of the cubicle. I told him politely he should not have been in there. His response was "Fuck of love".

I am annoyed he was in the ladies in the first place but raging he felt he could speak to me like that! AIBU to think that men shouldn't go into the ladies loos?!

I used the men's loo at work today.

80% of the staff are female. All the 4 toilets are individual rooms. Two have a female sign on the door, two have a male sign on the door (equality?) Nearly all staff have breaks at the same time and need to use the loo. Was I being unreasonable to use one of the vacant men's loos rather than extend my break to wait for a women's loo to be free?

His response was absolutely out of order, otherwise one can understand if he were desperate why he would have used the ladies.

There seems to be loads of male cleaners in the Ladies these days, especially at Motorway service stations, nobody seems to care

You sound lovely Toffee. Manners cost nowt you know.

He was probably desperate. I do it at work all the time when I need to go.

I despair.

At work we have mens loos on one floor, womens on the next. On our floor which has the women's loos on they have had to pit a big sign on the door LADIES ONLY to stop lazy men going in!

Ignorant twat.
Although reminds me of a story I heard about a girl attending a Westlife concert and a guy there asking 'What are you doing using the men's toilets?' to which she replied 'What are you doing at a Westlife concert?'

I've lost count over the years how many women ive seen in the mens loos when there is a queue for the womens. More than several times where theres been a queue of women waiting for the mens- and they happily trying to cop a look - quite why dont know but it happens.

Then theres women who who into mens changing rooms at swimming pools with their young sons and are shocked to see a naked man.

So yes he was rude to you but frankly, fair enough he was in there

I think it's reasonable to expect women's loos to be men-free unless it's clear they are unisex.

In all probability a man using them is doing so out of some genuine need, but there will always be the risk of one of them being there to peep or even attack a woman.

we've been led to expect for centuries that women's loos are for women.
It's not THAT long ago that train stations had women only waiting rooms.

Personally, OP I'd pull my big girl knickers up and if it was a small even you are at, I'd go and find him and tell him how he was out of order - ideally in front of his colleagues- not so much for using the loo but his attitude.

Out him, he deserves a public shaming.

When we go on courses it is usually mostly women.Totally not unusual for the women to use the mens and no-one bats an eyelid.

Thing is, though, that women don't rape men in loos, nor film them, or try to peep on them. All of these behaviours tend to be male behaviours, victimising women. Which is why I prefer to have women's lavatories just for women.

Can you genuinely not think of reasons why many women may feel quite vulnerable with their knickers off in an enclosed space with a man?

They're not in an enclosed space with him! He was in a cubicle! He wasn't in the cubicle with women!

He absolutely shouldn't have been rude but I wouldn't give the rest of it much thought.

YANBU
who is this joker anyway? Is he known to anyone you know at the event?

I don't think I'd ever go into the men's loos tbh the thought of it makes me feel ill

They're not in an enclosed space with him! He was in a cubicle! He wasn't in the cubicle with women!

They are in a small enclosed room with that person, and the cubicle is probably open top and bottom.

All this 'but he was in a cubicle!' bollocks - i was assaulted in the women's loos in a pub many years ago - the man was in a cubicle when i went in (unknown to me), he came out when i was at the sink washing my hands, and wallop.

I'm not for ainute saying all men are dodgy BUT given the likelihood that there were more facilities in the hotel for men than women (usually the case) it's unlikely he went to the women's because the mens were too busy. He probably just couldn't be bothered to walk an extra 100 yards. Ignorant, lazy, rude.

Personally I have no issue with unisex toilets as long as cubicles have floor to ceiling doors and walls, and as long as they open out into a corridor, rather than an enclosed room with a door.

Yes this. No wonder there is so much uproar in the States over the bathroom/trans thing. The doors are about three foot high, with an inch gap.

However this made was needlessly rude. The "love" makes it even more irritating, as though your opinion was irrelevant.

Thing is, though, that women don't rape men in loos, nor film them, or try to peep on them. All of these behaviours tend to be male behaviours, victimising women. Which is why I prefer to have women's lavatories just for women.

1stly it hardly ever happens. Rape in a toilet in a busy place? If he was filming, he wouldnt choose to go put the spyhole there when it is busy.

2ndly, not all men are like that. Women do stuff bad too, it isnt just a man thing.

3rdly, it is double standards, women often use mens, so it should go both ways and

4thly, are 1stly, 2ndly, 3rdly and 4thly even words?

I'm not for ainute saying all men are dodgy BUT given the likelihood that there were more facilities in the hotel for men than women (usually the case) it's unlikely he went to the women's because the mens were too busy. He probably just couldn't be bothered to walk an extra 100 yards. Ignorant, lazy, rude.

Read opening post!

Did you see a penis?

I have a colleague who is female and has had to deal with this kind of thing because she has a very masculine look. And quite a deep voice as well, the level where its not obviously male or female.

She's fed up with it , and would just tell someone to fuck off now because lots of times people don't listen to her when they say she's female and make assumptions that she is transgender.

If she wasn't at work this week I would have thought this was about her.

Perhaps he identifies as a woman.

Doesn't sound like he "identifies as a woman". (what does that even mean?) Just sounds like an obnoxious twat.

They are not divided by gender, they are divided by sex.

Are they? I thought they were divided by gender, hence the whole 'if you identify as a different gender, you can use the relevant toilets' issue. If they were divided by sex, then you couldn't, could you?

I wouldn't have had any problem with him being in there. Presumably he shut the cubicle and any women in there shut theirs too. I've used a mens before with no issue whatsoever.

You were being a busybody calling him out on it and he didn't have to be so rude.

Er i did read the opening post - op says 95% of attendees were men, not how many. She als says in another post there was no queue for the mens.