Absolutely fuming

[AldrinJustice]

Only posting on here for traffic.

Parked up in a car park and the owners of the car in question had seen me return to the car on my own with a baby on my hip so they obviously could see who was driving it. Was in the car with DD (14month old) Scraped someone's car as I was leaving the car park, owner of car was standing having a chat next to the car with his sister and bro in law. I didn't notice as I left, only noticed the whole family's reaction so I stopped not far from them and got out.

Immediately I realised what had happened and went over to the damage (had to leave DD in car seat) but - and this is what has me angry - the whole family, so that includes owner of car, his sister and her husband start yelling and shouting at me before I've even had a chance to say anything. It was a small scratch to the back bumper of his car.

I apologised yet his sister carries on her Tyrade of verbal abuse, saying horrible things like don't you use your mirrors, are you stupid, and some crap about how I drive a car worth £2k I told the owner to tell her to stop because I'm trying to talk to him and she's getting involved, and the owner says "no, I'm not saying it, you tell her" - all this is happening while my DD is in the other side of the car crying because of the shouting, they can all see her But don't stop. Owner of car wants my details but I said I'll take photos first.

Got back into the car, calmed DD down, called up dad and DH to come help, obviously am shaken at this point. Got back out to take photos but DD started crying again so I take her out on my hip while trying to take photos, family standing there just watching me, owner of car sneers at me and says "did you call the police or something" then laughs.

I finish taking my photos and sit in the drivers seat with DD on my lap and the door open, DH calls me and I answer but then spent the whole phonecall arguing with owners sister who feels like she has to start on me again shouting crap at me about my observation skills! I had to shout back at her this time to tell her to piss off as it's not her car, not her concern, I'm talking to the owner not her.

I've apologised, I stopped, I was going to give my details, I even offered to pay for the damage if they got a quote from the garage, yet again all that was happening was this arsehole of a woman can see I'm on my own with a baby but decides to make this whole ordeal harder for me. Accidents happen. Shit happens. I just do not understand it.

I'm now trying to feed DD a fruit pot as she's roaring hungry, has a dirty nappy but I couldn't change her. DH and dad arrive and DH gets out the car and asks who was shouting, at this point, sister and her husband get into their own car and drive off. Absolute cowards! Dad starts taking photos while DH starts arguing with the owner of the car about why they were all shouting at me but owner now wants to talk about the car and the damage!

Anyway we have exchanged details but is it a bit silly to report this altercation as verbal assault to the police? If I had my DH or someone else with me or at least not had DD with me then at least I wouldn't have been so shaken up but I was on my own and they were a family of 4 adults. I followed the relevant procedure for a RTA and it's not like I drove off. I just don't know what to do I'm so angry and so upset that this has happened. The damage to the cars isn't even a concern anymore like I said I would pay or go through insurance but I'm more upset about how they've gone and spoken to me about the whole thing. The car park was packed so plenty of witnesses but didn't get anyone's contact numbers for statements.

I'm sorry I don't know where I'm going with this post I'm just so upset. Now I have to find out what route's the best to take to deal with the damage but I don't even know where to start with that

[Ticketybootoo]

I think that sounds like a really unpleasant experience and I really empathise with you . Let the insurers deal with it and don't have anything to do with them at all .
My car was written off last year and the person who did it tried to invent a witness part way through the process that didn't materialise in the end .
I would just be kind to yourself as it just sounds like a very bad day to me

[Realjournal123]

Unfortunately you seem to have come across a particularly aggressive lot. It's not normal for them to behave like this over a minor bump. Don't get too upset as in a few weeks it won't bother you like it is now so just fast forward a bit.

[MyGiddyUncle]

Real women are invincible and as soon as you grow up, you could be too



What, like super-hero invincible? Got to get me some real-woman training so I can develop invincibility

[engineersthumb]

Would this not count as threatening behavior? Which I believe is a crime. Not that I'm a lawyer so I don't know where the bar is so to speak.

[JenLindleyShitMom]

I'm a man, so I KNOW cars - but it's only a bloody CAR!



It's ok everybody, we don't need to discuss it anymore. A MAN has arrived. He can handle this.

[EnthusiasmDisturbed]

yay a man has arrived

op understandably you are upset by what happened yesterday and by some of the responses on here but some must make you smile

[Madratlady]

I imagine they were pissed off about you not stopping immediately and faffing about with the baby rather than just taking photos and handing over your details. They sound like they were over the top but I think 'i didn't notice' would be the excuse most people who drive away after damaging a car would use so it's hardly surprising they didn't believe you, I wouldn't in that situation either.

Take photos, write down your details, tell them to go through the insurance, leave. No need for getting into shouting matches and phoning people to come and help and spending ages feeding your baby.

[YummyMummyInWaiting]

Shouting the way they did at you was uncalled for but at the end of the day all you had to do was ignore it, take pictures and swap details, would have taken 10 mins tops!

Your baby would have been fine for that period of time, there was no need to faff about feeding her and calling "back up"

I think you are being a bit OTT about the whole situation to be honest and I'm completely bemused by the fact that you didn't notice hitting another car when it was enough to leave a scratch

And was it a scratch or a "major accident" as you said? Your story doesn't make sense and I think you might be padding it out for dramatic effect.

[Illstartexercisingtomorrow]

yummy you are acting as though having 3 adults shouting at the OP and essentially bullying her is not a big deal? That she is somehow being 'dramatic'? Yes, it could have been done in 10min, but in a threatening situation it is understandable to behave less than optimally. And yes most normal people would feel threatened if they had even one person shouting at them, having a baby with you makes you even more vulnerable as you don't know how the situation will escalate.
And she wasn't calling for 'back up' - talk about patronising!! She said she called to ask her dad to talk her through the process, tbh even if she had just called to say '3 grown adults are shouting at me and I'm alone with 14 month old dd' that would be a perfectly acceptable response too.

OP - sorry you had to go through that. People are shit sometimes and lose sense of normality when it comes to cars. No excuse for their behaviour. Now you know not to interact with crazy people, any similar situation in the future - walk away. Leave contact details/take picture/whatever is appropriate and walk off. You are not obliged to stay to listen to them about at you. And I bet you feel even worse for not having walked away, but we learn with each experience and you will do better if you are in a tough situation again.

[Alijam]

Sympathy OP - huge sympathy. SO easy to accidently scratch other cars in car parks and good for you for stopping. Some people just drive off. Huge sympathy for the stress that came next - some people!! Completely unnecessary and really stressful for you. I hope everything is resolved quickly and don't be too hard on yourself. It happens to everyone - especially with young kids in the back xx

[DeleteOrDecay]

Shouting the way they did at you was uncalled for but at the end of the day all you had to do was ignore it, take pictures and swap details, would have taken 10 mins tops!

And all they had to do was not act like a bunch of bullying buffoons and let op exchange details in a calm and civilised matter. Put yourself in the position of being yelled at and feeling threatened with a small child in tow, would you seriously have been 100% composed and able to act as you say the op should have reacted? If so then good for you, shame we can't all be so perfect

I'm not surprised op felt this was a 'major accident' given the massive over reaction of the car owner and his bullying family members.

[Lindsxxx]

We had this once, it was a few years ago now so I may be wrong on a couple details but hubby accidentally reversed at exceedingly slow speed into a car behind him (in a car park and the car in question had just joined a queue that extended behind our car) anyway, as in your case - tiny scratch but the man jumped out of the car and instantly started being verbal, we had our two kids of about 8 and 10 in the car. Hubby kept his cool and gave the driver his details, we rang our insurance when we got home and for some reason that I don't recall now they advised us that he would have to claim on his own insurance and would have to pay the excess (which since we never heard from him again we assume must have been more than the damage lol) so for all his gobbiness (and he was vile) he got nowhere lol we had offered to pay to have it fixed and he was too busy swearing so haha to him.
On a more dodgy note, since there are no witnesses you can always say you didn't do it. I used to work with people who had had accidents and the amount of people that got away with it after swapping details and then saying they'd not done it was phenomenal!!

[HeCantBeSerious]

hubby accidentally reversed at exceedingly slow speed into a car behind him (in a car park and the car in question had just joined a queue that extended behind our car)

How come he didn't see the other car?

[HeCantBeSerious]

On a more dodgy note, since there are no witnesses you can always say you didn't do it
Until they get hold of CCTV footage......

[AmritR212]

Don't listen to the negative on here. You know which comments are unhelpful to your situation/question.
Accidents happen and you got out and tried to resolve the issue by whatever means. The way they/ she reacted just shows how people have obviously been brought up and their backgrounds (ohhh judgy judgy).
The same happened to me. Except I was sat in the stationary car with my dd. When the whole family incl MIL got out to check the damage he had caused on 'my' car!!!
However, when he started to talk I understood that he was apologetic and reasonable so it was resolved i.e. We exchanged phone numbers ( he asked if he could pay for the repairs).
Simple - god forbid they ever found themselves in this type of scenario.

[Mlb123]

Wow! Who do some of the posters think they are on this thread. Criticising the op patenting and calling her an attention seeking wimp. It was an accident and the people continually shouting at a lone woman with a baby were out of order

[Velvian]

I think you should report OP. They should not be allowed to get away with that behaviour and it would be equally unacceptable if this happened to a lonely man and child. Yanbu

[DeleteOrDecay]

The general acceptance that it's really easy and forgivable to accidentally
drive cars into things is terrifying me

Nobody has said that Just that there's an appropriate way of dealing with it and trying to intimidate, bully and threaten is not the way to go.

[DeleteOrDecay]

So? It's true that accidents do happen, humans make mistakes sometimes. That's not condoning anything that's just stating a fact of life. I scratched a car at 17 just after I'd passed my test, I was mortified but I did pay for the damage to be repaired, just like any decent person would. You live and you learn.

It's how its dealt with on both sides that matters.

[DeleteOrDecay]

Oh do get a grip No one died because their car got a minor scratch.

[Meluzyna]

There are some vile human beings out there. In the OP's case she was "in the wrong" but that still doesn't excuse the over the top reaction.

My Ma-in-law was minding her own business in her home in the middle of the countryside the other day when a group of ramblers with dogs and children came past. One of the dogs jumped the fence into Ma-in-laws garden, into the penned off chicken run and mauled a chicken to death.
When Ma-in-law went out to find out what was going on the man with the group told her to fuck off back into the house and watch the telly as she was a stupid old woman to make a fuss about a dead chicken.

Some people are just full of bile and hate.