Absolutely fuming

[AldrinJustice]

Only posting on here for traffic.

Parked up in a car park and the owners of the car in question had seen me return to the car on my own with a baby on my hip so they obviously could see who was driving it. Was in the car with DD (14month old) Scraped someone's car as I was leaving the car park, owner of car was standing having a chat next to the car with his sister and bro in law. I didn't notice as I left, only noticed the whole family's reaction so I stopped not far from them and got out.

Immediately I realised what had happened and went over to the damage (had to leave DD in car seat) but - and this is what has me angry - the whole family, so that includes owner of car, his sister and her husband start yelling and shouting at me before I've even had a chance to say anything. It was a small scratch to the back bumper of his car.

I apologised yet his sister carries on her Tyrade of verbal abuse, saying horrible things like don't you use your mirrors, are you stupid, and some crap about how I drive a car worth £2k I told the owner to tell her to stop because I'm trying to talk to him and she's getting involved, and the owner says "no, I'm not saying it, you tell her" - all this is happening while my DD is in the other side of the car crying because of the shouting, they can all see her But don't stop. Owner of car wants my details but I said I'll take photos first.

Got back into the car, calmed DD down, called up dad and DH to come help, obviously am shaken at this point. Got back out to take photos but DD started crying again so I take her out on my hip while trying to take photos, family standing there just watching me, owner of car sneers at me and says "did you call the police or something" then laughs.

I finish taking my photos and sit in the drivers seat with DD on my lap and the door open, DH calls me and I answer but then spent the whole phonecall arguing with owners sister who feels like she has to start on me again shouting crap at me about my observation skills! I had to shout back at her this time to tell her to piss off as it's not her car, not her concern, I'm talking to the owner not her.

I've apologised, I stopped, I was going to give my details, I even offered to pay for the damage if they got a quote from the garage, yet again all that was happening was this arsehole of a woman can see I'm on my own with a baby but decides to make this whole ordeal harder for me. Accidents happen. Shit happens. I just do not understand it.

I'm now trying to feed DD a fruit pot as she's roaring hungry, has a dirty nappy but I couldn't change her. DH and dad arrive and DH gets out the car and asks who was shouting, at this point, sister and her husband get into their own car and drive off. Absolute cowards! Dad starts taking photos while DH starts arguing with the owner of the car about why they were all shouting at me but owner now wants to talk about the car and the damage!

Anyway we have exchanged details but is it a bit silly to report this altercation as verbal assault to the police? If I had my DH or someone else with me or at least not had DD with me then at least I wouldn't have been so shaken up but I was on my own and they were a family of 4 adults. I followed the relevant procedure for a RTA and it's not like I drove off. I just don't know what to do I'm so angry and so upset that this has happened. The damage to the cars isn't even a concern anymore like I said I would pay or go through insurance but I'm more upset about how they've gone and spoken to me about the whole thing. The car park was packed so plenty of witnesses but didn't get anyone's contact numbers for statements.

I'm sorry I don't know where I'm going with this post I'm just so upset. Now I have to find out what route's the best to take to deal with the damage but I don't even know where to start with that

[AldrinJustice]

Thank you all for your replies and personal experiences, just wanted to update everyone, the guy called back (managed to record the phonecall incase he started saying anything again) to inform me not to worry and that he wiped my car's paint off and just had to buy some paint pen from Halfords and go over the white scratch.

Said thank you and that was the end of that phonecall.

[Lozzamas]

He can't your wrong I'm a Motor Rating Manager at one of the Insurance companies you mention as I've already stated having Children is NOT a rating factor and is not asked.

[JenLindleyShitMom]

Having children has been asked on every single insurance quote search I have done online for the last 10ish years.

[HeCantBeSerious]

Newsflash Lozz - maybe yours doesn't but some other companies do.

[Lozzamas]

As a rating manager - I have to check these regularly I have just done a quote on the 5 top companies - none asked about children. Maybe your occupation triggers it? It didn't on mine - saying you're a homemaker for instance?

[HeCantBeSerious]

All of the admiral companies ask (not based on occupation).

[HeCantBeSerious]

Axa ask. Swiftcover ask.

[Totallybonkersmum]

If, god forbid, it happens again, because the likelihood is statistically likely (unless you never drive!) hence we all have to pay car insurance every year, next time just hand them your registration number and a phone number and take photos. Then go. That way you wouldn't have had to listen to the tirade from people like this ever again, as you would have complied with all the legalities concerning this incident.
I once had to rescue a very young friend from a similar situation. I took photos with my camera phone. Exchanged details, then I made her leave. Ironically it was the other person who was at fault, legally. He was trying to get himself of the hook and bought out of his car some very flashy photographic equipment with different lenses! Very intimidating!
We did inform the police as I felt it was unfair that he was really intimidating her, shouting at her and accusing her. They gave him an official warning.
Btw, you can be charged for verbal assault. My DS was after an altercation with me. I couldn't get a word in edgeways or prove that his accusations were truly unfounded. He yelled, made accusations and I felt physically threatened, having been a punchbag before.
I left. Someone, and I don't know whom, informed the police. They wanted to arrest DS immediately. So yes, in short, you can be charged for verbally assaulting someone.

[Bargainqueen]

What a shame op. I get why you called for support, you felt vulnerable and quite rightly so. You did the right thing taking pics etc and I hope you have calmed down now. I don't think the police would do anything as it's he said she said, but I will say that I've been seriously considering buying a dash cam. You can get them quite cheap now. If you had had one of them and had the verbal abuse recorded at least you could have taken it to the station to see if they would have done anything. I have no idea if they would've but you would have had something solid to show them.
I hope it all goes smoothly for you from here on in, but seriously consider the dash cam. You never think you need one until things like this happen and sadly abusive behaviour is happening much more xx

[SlottedSpoon]

The woman was a twat. Small prangs happen all the time, it's annoying and upsetting but unless you were driving without due care and attention and causing a danger to others it was hardly worth her going off at the deep end for.

She was completely unreasonable.

But you were also unreasonable for needing to phone your DH and your Dad for help. You are a grown woman for goodness sake. It was a small scratch, no injuries. You should have just ignored the ranty woman, apologised to the car owner, calmly given the owner your insurance details and left. Done and dusted in under 5 minutes.