Absolutely fuming

[AldrinJustice]

Only posting on here for traffic.

Parked up in a car park and the owners of the car in question had seen me return to the car on my own with a baby on my hip so they obviously could see who was driving it. Was in the car with DD (14month old) Scraped someone's car as I was leaving the car park, owner of car was standing having a chat next to the car with his sister and bro in law. I didn't notice as I left, only noticed the whole family's reaction so I stopped not far from them and got out.

Immediately I realised what had happened and went over to the damage (had to leave DD in car seat) but - and this is what has me angry - the whole family, so that includes owner of car, his sister and her husband start yelling and shouting at me before I've even had a chance to say anything. It was a small scratch to the back bumper of his car.

I apologised yet his sister carries on her Tyrade of verbal abuse, saying horrible things like don't you use your mirrors, are you stupid, and some crap about how I drive a car worth £2k I told the owner to tell her to stop because I'm trying to talk to him and she's getting involved, and the owner says "no, I'm not saying it, you tell her" - all this is happening while my DD is in the other side of the car crying because of the shouting, they can all see her But don't stop. Owner of car wants my details but I said I'll take photos first.

Got back into the car, calmed DD down, called up dad and DH to come help, obviously am shaken at this point. Got back out to take photos but DD started crying again so I take her out on my hip while trying to take photos, family standing there just watching me, owner of car sneers at me and says "did you call the police or something" then laughs.

I finish taking my photos and sit in the drivers seat with DD on my lap and the door open, DH calls me and I answer but then spent the whole phonecall arguing with owners sister who feels like she has to start on me again shouting crap at me about my observation skills! I had to shout back at her this time to tell her to piss off as it's not her car, not her concern, I'm talking to the owner not her.

I've apologised, I stopped, I was going to give my details, I even offered to pay for the damage if they got a quote from the garage, yet again all that was happening was this arsehole of a woman can see I'm on my own with a baby but decides to make this whole ordeal harder for me. Accidents happen. Shit happens. I just do not understand it.

I'm now trying to feed DD a fruit pot as she's roaring hungry, has a dirty nappy but I couldn't change her. DH and dad arrive and DH gets out the car and asks who was shouting, at this point, sister and her husband get into their own car and drive off. Absolute cowards! Dad starts taking photos while DH starts arguing with the owner of the car about why they were all shouting at me but owner now wants to talk about the car and the damage!

Anyway we have exchanged details but is it a bit silly to report this altercation as verbal assault to the police? If I had my DH or someone else with me or at least not had DD with me then at least I wouldn't have been so shaken up but I was on my own and they were a family of 4 adults. I followed the relevant procedure for a RTA and it's not like I drove off. I just don't know what to do I'm so angry and so upset that this has happened. The damage to the cars isn't even a concern anymore like I said I would pay or go through insurance but I'm more upset about how they've gone and spoken to me about the whole thing. The car park was packed so plenty of witnesses but didn't get anyone's contact numbers for statements.

I'm sorry I don't know where I'm going with this post I'm just so upset. Now I have to find out what route's the best to take to deal with the damage but I don't even know where to start with that

[Emberfirefly]

I can honestly say (as it has happened to me twice) that if someone scrapes my car then yes it's a nuisance but for gods sake it's hardly the end of the bloody world and there is no need to act like a twat and get verbally abusive. I can totally understand why you are upset and shaken up OP but it's not worth reporting to the police, just report to your insurance company and let them deal with it. Unfortunately there are verbally abusive idiots in the world and we have to put up with them - you are the bigger person for not shouting back or engaging in the twattery so keep your head held high and try and forget about them. You did the right thing. I think I would have given them my details and driven off on that scenario, if they then chose to follow you then you could call police and report for harassment.

[CrotchetQuaverMinim]

As you say, 'shit happens'. I don't think you can do much about people not being nice to you in this situation - yes, they could have been much more pleasant, but they were upset, you'd damaged their car, and they probably didn't feel much like being nice. You can be upset about it, but it doesn't mean you need to do anything about it now. I don't think being a woman alone with a baby is terribly relevant - ideally, anyone should be nice and reasonable to anyone else in the situation, but it doesn't happen. I deserve people to be nice to me just as much as the next person, and I don't have a baby. Doesn't mean it happens, of course, and I can see how it's upsetting. But I don't think you need to do anything now that it's all over.

[JenLindleyShitMom]

Didn't want to drive off and for anyone to say I'd done a hit and run,

No, you would have given your details to them obviously!

Also this wasn't a major accident! it was a tiny scrape. So tiny you didn't even know it had happened. It's about as minor an accident as you can get!

Look Op it sounds like you need to brush up on accident procedure so you you an handle yourself without falling to pieces the next time something happens. Lots of people have babies with them and lots of people lose their temper when their car is hit, you can't be calling your dad every time. You are an adult, you need to be able to cope with this sort of thing, as I said, those really was a tiny accident.

[justwanttoweeinpeace]

I did similar a year ago. Can't figure out how I managed it but I did. I think if a plastic bit of your car is on a painted bit of another it sometimes isn't immediately obvious that it's happening. If you've got a shouty child in the car or the radio on you're even less likely to hear the scrape.

The driver was there and it was his face that made me realise what I'd done.

It's understandable that they're angry but you really just have to brace yourself for it.

Apologise. Take photos. Swap insurance details and then leave. There's nothing more either of you can do.

[21jumpstreet]

It's not bollocks that there is no such thing as verbal assault. There are public order offences (which include causing harassment alarm and distress) threats to kill and so forth. Verbal assault simply does not exist. If you felt threatened then you should have waited in your car or on the store and called the police at the scene.

[Emberfirefly]

Let's hope you never make a mistake then eh racer? Because anyone can have an accident and misjudge things occasionally, that is one of the reasons that you get third party insurance.

[user1478450549]

When did the idea get about that nobody is every allowed to be angry, and say so?
If you hit my car and look like you are trying to leave, yes, I'll probably shout at you. You deserve it, thats not me being "verbally abusive".

[AlexaTwoAtT]

"Emberfirefly

...I think I would have given them my details and driven off on that scenario, if they then chose to follow you then you could call police and report for harassment..."

Niiiiice.

[AnneElliott]

They sound unhinged! My car has been scraped a few times, and you just exchange details like normal people.

Even the woman who didn't want to give me her details ( she bumped me from behind) I was polite to - no point shouting, but I told her firmly she'd be giving me her details or I would be calling the police.

[legotits]

Alexa a group of people gobbling off at an individual with a child are pricks.

[SerendipityPhenomenon]

For future reference, if you get into that situation again leave your child in the car, write down your details and give them to the other driver, get his details, take your photos, drive away. Don't get distracted by crying child, ranting sister, or anyone.

[EstelleRoberts]

OP, they behaved appallingly, and I'm sorry you went through that. We all make mistakes, and accidents happen to the best of us. You tried to do the right thing, to make amends, and they proceeded to bully you. They really should get a life. Yes, it's annoying when your car is damaged, but such is life. The adult response is to deal politely with swapping insurance details, and move on. Not act like a playground bully.

That kind of thing can really shake a person up. I hope your DH is being kind to you, so you can calm down a bit this evening and let it go.

[Emberfirefly]

Alexa yes because all they need are your details, it was a scratch for gods sake - they were screaming at her and she had a frightened child with her, why should she need to hang around? And yes if they followed her to give more abuse of course she could call police. Niiiiice

[Waxlyrically]

Sounds like they enjoyed having a total over reaction to a non event to me. Cars get scratched & bumped all the time. No one was hurt and you stopped and offered to sort it out. These people sound very unpleasant and in search of drama in their lives. Pass on to your insurance company and forget all about it - easier said than done I know - but you've done nothing wrong.

[Emberfirefly]

Alexa your user name sums you up nicely. And saying 'niiiiice' makes you sound about 12.

[Eminado]

To me, the most shocking thing about this thread is Alexa's attitude. You come across like a bully. It was a scrape. No one was injured.

No one scrapes cars on purpose - that is why it is called an accident.

[ForgotStuff]

What weird responses on this thread. I wouldn't dream of shouting st someone who had hit my car and were apologizing for it and offering to pay. They sound deranged and nasty. It all sounds a bit Jeremy Kyle of them.
If someone was trying to drive off I might yell at them but that's not what happened.
I would try to forget about it OP.

[Ifailed]

It's not bollocks that there is no such thing as verbal assault

Of course there is. It's Common Law, if the victim believes they will be attacked, an assault will be committed even if there was no actual threat of violence.

[user1478450549]

Of course there is. It's Common Law, if the victim believes they will be attacked, an assault will be committed even if there was no actual threat of violence

It's not nearly as simple as that. Intent does not follow from belief of threat.
And there is nothing here that would support such a charge.

[supermoon100]

People who get that upset about scratches on cars are not worth worrying about, much like the lady who shouted at the mother of the 6 year old cyclist who dinged her car. It would have shaken me too

[Woody67]

She's sounds like a complete twat! There are a lot of them about, I'm afraid!!

[witsender]

In future I would just completely disengage. Hand over note with all your details, take photos and drive off. This is all unnecessarily dramatic...feeding child, can't change 'nappy, calling back up...just hand over details and go.

[21jumpstreet]

At no point did the OP state she thought she would be attacked. My point remains the same "verbal assault" does not exist. As I said earlier, if the situation was that bad why not call the Police at the time.

[kaelea]

Are you sure you actually hit the car? It all looks suspect to me, my inner 'Miss Marple' wonders why in this weather when its freezing outside would anyone be stood outside a car having a chin wag, very convenient as you happened to be pulling out, I could pull a pre planned shocked face,
they get a wedge of cash and you get shouted at.

Shout and me and I go to jelly I'd confess to anything lol

[cansu]

She was being an arse. interesting how she decided to leave when your dh arrived. I would pass it all to insurance to deal with as they are obviously deranged. I have been rear ended twice and have never felt the need to shout at the person responsible. shit happens. you gave your info that is all they can expect. have a drink and forget them they are just wankers.