Absolutely fuming

[AldrinJustice]

Only posting on here for traffic.

Parked up in a car park and the owners of the car in question had seen me return to the car on my own with a baby on my hip so they obviously could see who was driving it. Was in the car with DD (14month old) Scraped someone's car as I was leaving the car park, owner of car was standing having a chat next to the car with his sister and bro in law. I didn't notice as I left, only noticed the whole family's reaction so I stopped not far from them and got out.

Immediately I realised what had happened and went over to the damage (had to leave DD in car seat) but - and this is what has me angry - the whole family, so that includes owner of car, his sister and her husband start yelling and shouting at me before I've even had a chance to say anything. It was a small scratch to the back bumper of his car.

I apologised yet his sister carries on her Tyrade of verbal abuse, saying horrible things like don't you use your mirrors, are you stupid, and some crap about how I drive a car worth £2k I told the owner to tell her to stop because I'm trying to talk to him and she's getting involved, and the owner says "no, I'm not saying it, you tell her" - all this is happening while my DD is in the other side of the car crying because of the shouting, they can all see her But don't stop. Owner of car wants my details but I said I'll take photos first.

Got back into the car, calmed DD down, called up dad and DH to come help, obviously am shaken at this point. Got back out to take photos but DD started crying again so I take her out on my hip while trying to take photos, family standing there just watching me, owner of car sneers at me and says "did you call the police or something" then laughs.

I finish taking my photos and sit in the drivers seat with DD on my lap and the door open, DH calls me and I answer but then spent the whole phonecall arguing with owners sister who feels like she has to start on me again shouting crap at me about my observation skills! I had to shout back at her this time to tell her to piss off as it's not her car, not her concern, I'm talking to the owner not her.

I've apologised, I stopped, I was going to give my details, I even offered to pay for the damage if they got a quote from the garage, yet again all that was happening was this arsehole of a woman can see I'm on my own with a baby but decides to make this whole ordeal harder for me. Accidents happen. Shit happens. I just do not understand it.

I'm now trying to feed DD a fruit pot as she's roaring hungry, has a dirty nappy but I couldn't change her. DH and dad arrive and DH gets out the car and asks who was shouting, at this point, sister and her husband get into their own car and drive off. Absolute cowards! Dad starts taking photos while DH starts arguing with the owner of the car about why they were all shouting at me but owner now wants to talk about the car and the damage!

Anyway we have exchanged details but is it a bit silly to report this altercation as verbal assault to the police? If I had my DH or someone else with me or at least not had DD with me then at least I wouldn't have been so shaken up but I was on my own and they were a family of 4 adults. I followed the relevant procedure for a RTA and it's not like I drove off. I just don't know what to do I'm so angry and so upset that this has happened. The damage to the cars isn't even a concern anymore like I said I would pay or go through insurance but I'm more upset about how they've gone and spoken to me about the whole thing. The car park was packed so plenty of witnesses but didn't get anyone's contact numbers for statements.

I'm sorry I don't know where I'm going with this post I'm just so upset. Now I have to find out what route's the best to take to deal with the damage but I don't even know where to start with that

Its simple, they were in the wrong, you were in the right. They were verbally abusive and threatening. Threatening behaviour is an offence. You would have been within your rights to drive off and call the police when safe. Its not a hit and run if you report to.the police and the advantage is that it puts the onus on the abusive folk to call the police.

I've once knocked someone's mirror and I didn't quite understand I had done it until I saw their reaction and stopped. I'm telling you this because some people have questioned why you didn't realise. Thankfully the person I knocked was really lovely and we exchanged numbers and I paid her. Sounds like you have had a nightmare. You did the right thing stopping - others wouldn't have and there would have been nothing the owner of the other car could have done. A white van once bashed my car and when I gave his details to the police and they contacted him - he just denied it and police said they couldn't do anything. I think you should be kind to yourself and remind yourself you tried to do the right thing. Sounds like they are nasty people. You don't need people like that or their negative energy in your life, so if I was you I would just pay for the damages, draw a line in the sand and move on. If you press charges you will have all the stress which will go with that and you might not get the outcome you want. Instead spend the time with your family - they seem to have been really helpful and supportive of you so I bet it's reminded you how lucky you are to have nice people in your immediate circle. Maybe also a mental note for future - I agree with another comment where perhaps if something like this happens in the future - you take charge of the situation by refusing to engage in a conversation until someone calms down and treats you respectfully. I suspect you were so keen to do the right thing you were trying to resolve things - but as you have now perhaps realised - a hysterically and abusive person is impossible to reason with. Good luck.

Haven't read ft but I agree leave it to insurers and try and let the 'angst' go There are some horrible people out there ,but tell yourself most people are nice
I was once really nice to a young girl (same age as DD2)who slammed into the back of my car. She was so upset and shaken I didn't have the heart to have a go at her .Her mum rang me to thank me for being so nice . (£3000 of damage )We agreed that would teach her not to glance at her phone while driving -I knew she had but didn't 'shop'her She'd confessed. I might have felt different if someone has been injured
Its a lump of metal.Thats what bumpers are for . People need to get a life

that's horrible

yes we get upset and angry if our car gets scratched but you didn't drive off you apologised and that wasn't enough some people are just aggressive and any excuse to bully others they will

but of course on here you will be told that you are being unreasonable like I said some people are just aggressive and like to bully mn is no different

People get very strange when cars are involved, I once had someone drive into the back of my car then leap out of his open my door grab me start screaming in my face and tell me he was going to stab me.

I'm not sure who was more surprised him or me when I very calmly said " so you are intending to stab me because you drove into the back of my car"

His car was mangled his wife was in labour and ambulance would have been ages, I didn't fancy assisting in a delivery in the cold and my car was still legally movable so I told him to shut the fuck up help his wife into my car and drove them both to hospital for the entire journey he was blathering about his bloody car

Something like this happened to me when I had only been driving a couple of months. I was on my own but scraped a car with a man inside. I went into the bank and he followed me screaming and shouting I had done a hit and run! Anyway he called the police, which I was pleased about because they reassured me ( I was in tears at this point) and a nice lady came over to me while I was waiting. They took my details and gave them to the other driver and it all got dealt with through insurance. Interestingly they also tried to claim for whiplash injuries, I was going about 1 mile an hour, told my insurance there was no way and it was settled.

A great story needsasockamnesty lol

If they were swearing at you its a Section 4a Public order but you'll need witnesses because those types ALWAYS deny.

No need for language like that noddy

I've reported noddy's post for offensive language who says bubs anyway?

A taxi slammed into my car today quite hard at the traffic lights. My bumper has a big scratch along it. The man apologised. I just said don't worry about it and drove off.

is it a bit silly to report this altercation as verbal assault to the police?

Yes.

I know how you feel it's quite upsetting. I was putting my dc in the car one day. Without realising I must have touched the car next to me with my door. It honestly didn't bang and I was unaware. The owner of the car arrived and accused me of dining his car. It was raining and I couldn't see anything. He didn't swear but was quite confrontational. I said I would pay and gave details however I found the whole thing very upsetting.

OP it is not too late to report it to the police. If the woman used abusive language or was threatening or intimidating then it is a public order offence. You have the details of the persons involved so it should be easy for them to follow up. However she may deny it and it will be your word against theirs. Some people are just arseholes, you did the right thing, accidents happen.

I had a lady drive straight into me when I had both young dc in the car - she shoved me into a fence on a bright day (my car was also bright red and hard to miss). But no one was hurt, she was absolutely mortified, apologised, gave me details - I ended up giving her a hug because she was so upset and waited till I'd spoken to the insurers before I had a minor vent. I don't think that cars are that important that people have to be plain nasty - let it go as they wouldn't change x

So if you hadn't noticed their reaction you'd have driven off and left their car damaged? Might be why tempers were so flared

But she did notice and she didn't drive off. So there was absolutely no reason for the car owners family member to react the way she did.

Op you did everything right after the accident, you stopped, exchanged details, took photos, apologised and took responsibility by offering to pay for the damage. What more do these people want?

What horrible people. They must think they are perfect humans.

Ahhh - accidents happen- I don't blame you for calling your dad and husband if you were out numbered- just let insurance sort it and breath - it's awful to feel outnumbered and you clearly tried to do the right thing - hugs xxxxxx

Insurance Manager here, technically there is no such thing as an "accident" there is always an at fault driver. Having said that they were being OTT to a normal driving incident. However as someone who has returned to minor damage and no perpetrator several times driving incidents are annoying and costly, but don't worry your Insurance company will handle it.... Give yourself a hug and put it down to experience, unpleasant as it may have been.

You should have just given your phone number to the owner, driven off and not entered into any discussion with the awful family member. It is horrible, unfortunately some people are like that. I am sure this situation was not serious enough, but if you ever have an accident and someone is very abusive and you fear for your safety - tell them to follow you the police station and you will geive them your details there. I would never offer to pay for damage, they may not be insured and also what may look like an inexpensive bash to the bumper can turn out to be at least £500!

Racer that is really harsh you don't know if the other drivers was parked straight how other cars are parked around you it all impacts on driving /steering out of tight spaces. Sometimes people do misjudge spaces it isn't the end of the world. I wouldn't be impressed if someone caught my car but for a small scratch I'd give them the chance to apologise and sort it out. No need to get in that state. Have a glass of wine op you need it.

YANBU I'd report them. Very antisocial when you were doing the right thing & intimidating when you were alone with a distressed baby.
Def let insurance deal with it.

Somebody scraped my bumper once. I just didn't bother. It was a couple of scuff marks . No big deal.
A bigger deal was coming back to my car and finding a scrape along the side....but no one had seen anything. I never got it repaired, it was a very slight dent , and the mark mostly T Cutted out.
I gently bumped the bumper of a police van once in a station car park. No sign of the officers! I did stop and have a look, but there was no mark to be seen, on either vehicle. And yes, then I drove off...there was absolutely nothing to see, and I had been going very, very slowly, backing out of a parking space. I did worry for a few days after, though, as some ladies in another car saw me, but just smiled and drove off, themselves!

It wasn't "an Accident" -just a little bump- in a moment's distraction. I don't think the Police would have done anything if they'd been there to see it.

I'm sure plenty of you will think I'm A Terrible Person now
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