Absolutely fuming

[AldrinJustice]

Only posting on here for traffic.

Parked up in a car park and the owners of the car in question had seen me return to the car on my own with a baby on my hip so they obviously could see who was driving it. Was in the car with DD (14month old) Scraped someone's car as I was leaving the car park, owner of car was standing having a chat next to the car with his sister and bro in law. I didn't notice as I left, only noticed the whole family's reaction so I stopped not far from them and got out.

Immediately I realised what had happened and went over to the damage (had to leave DD in car seat) but - and this is what has me angry - the whole family, so that includes owner of car, his sister and her husband start yelling and shouting at me before I've even had a chance to say anything. It was a small scratch to the back bumper of his car.

I apologised yet his sister carries on her Tyrade of verbal abuse, saying horrible things like don't you use your mirrors, are you stupid, and some crap about how I drive a car worth £2k I told the owner to tell her to stop because I'm trying to talk to him and she's getting involved, and the owner says "no, I'm not saying it, you tell her" - all this is happening while my DD is in the other side of the car crying because of the shouting, they can all see her But don't stop. Owner of car wants my details but I said I'll take photos first.

Got back into the car, calmed DD down, called up dad and DH to come help, obviously am shaken at this point. Got back out to take photos but DD started crying again so I take her out on my hip while trying to take photos, family standing there just watching me, owner of car sneers at me and says "did you call the police or something" then laughs.

I finish taking my photos and sit in the drivers seat with DD on my lap and the door open, DH calls me and I answer but then spent the whole phonecall arguing with owners sister who feels like she has to start on me again shouting crap at me about my observation skills! I had to shout back at her this time to tell her to piss off as it's not her car, not her concern, I'm talking to the owner not her.

I've apologised, I stopped, I was going to give my details, I even offered to pay for the damage if they got a quote from the garage, yet again all that was happening was this arsehole of a woman can see I'm on my own with a baby but decides to make this whole ordeal harder for me. Accidents happen. Shit happens. I just do not understand it.

I'm now trying to feed DD a fruit pot as she's roaring hungry, has a dirty nappy but I couldn't change her. DH and dad arrive and DH gets out the car and asks who was shouting, at this point, sister and her husband get into their own car and drive off. Absolute cowards! Dad starts taking photos while DH starts arguing with the owner of the car about why they were all shouting at me but owner now wants to talk about the car and the damage!

Anyway we have exchanged details but is it a bit silly to report this altercation as verbal assault to the police? If I had my DH or someone else with me or at least not had DD with me then at least I wouldn't have been so shaken up but I was on my own and they were a family of 4 adults. I followed the relevant procedure for a RTA and it's not like I drove off. I just don't know what to do I'm so angry and so upset that this has happened. The damage to the cars isn't even a concern anymore like I said I would pay or go through insurance but I'm more upset about how they've gone and spoken to me about the whole thing. The car park was packed so plenty of witnesses but didn't get anyone's contact numbers for statements.

I'm sorry I don't know where I'm going with this post I'm just so upset. Now I have to find out what route's the best to take to deal with the damage but I don't even know where to start with that

Some people have a lot of anger in them and like to get it out when they think they can! It sounds horrible for you and I too would be very shaken. But at the end of the day accept that some people are cockwombles and probably have a miserable life. Go through the insurance for the claim if you can and have nothing further to do with them. You will have forgotten all about this in a few months, whereas she will still be an angry nasty person looking for a row about something else.

Some of you are smug, nasty and arrogant. The OP accepts she made a mistake. But minor accidents like that are extremely common in supermarket parks. And Op did deal with it, and would have managed much better if the other people hadn't been so unreasonably angry and all shouting at once. Their behavior was unnecessary and abusive. It must have been very upsetting for OP.

Lawyer here. OP you can put this down as a bad experience and pass everything to your insurers. I would not report to police as they are unlikely to consider a series of heated conversations (without the threat of violence) very seriously.

I don't stand around in carparks chatting to my relatives I invite them home for coffee and cake, or head to the nearest cafe, at worst we'll sit in the car

That's nice. We aren't all you though. Different people have different behaviours. Just because they are different from what you doesn't make them suspicious. I always bump into my sister when one or both of us are on our way to somewhere else so 5 minutes to catch up in the Asda car park is all we can manage. Inviting her back to my house would be pointless as we are usualy both heading elsewhere.

I clipped someone's car in a car park (they're so fucking badly designed these days I'm sure it happens every day), I got out straight away and went over - the driver was sitting in the car and the first thing he did when he got out was ask me if I was alright. I was really upset and he was so kind about it even though it was totally my fault!

I pulled into a space once in Tescos which I didn't realise another car had also spotted and wanted to get into.
The woman got out of her car and screamed some abuse at me. Not the same as you OP but I can relate to how you felt. I was really shaken and terrified I'd see her in the store and she'd start again!

It sounds like a horrible experience and it's hard to think straight when you're on the receiving end of verbal abuse so I understand your actions.

Some of you are smug, nasty and arrogant

Thanks for that assessment of peoples characters from a few lines of text on an anonymous forum.What would we do without you?

Reading some of these replies, PuppetInParadize, I'd be inclined to agree!

Yes, people are entitled to get angry if someone's scraped their car (honestly, from the OP, I wouldn't even have called it a "prang" - that to me would indicate a more forceful impact that would likely have been noticed), but to scream abuse? At a lone person with a small child? Come on, that's a bit beyond the pale don't you think?

To the PP who have told OP (I'm paraphrasing) that she needs to grow up and learn to handle this sort of thing, why on earth should she have to learn to handle being on the receiving end of screamed abuse??

They were ott.
People have ridiculous tantrums over all sorts these days. It wasn't even the abusive woman's car.
It's like some can't deal with anything like an adult anymore, instead it's just screams and shrieking.
A car's been scratched, annoying but not the end of the world, swap numbers sort it and move on ffs.

why on earth should she have to learn to handle being on the receiving end of screamed abuse??

Why should any of us? Because it happens. Through no fault of our own we encounter assholes who will leap on any chance to vent their bile. It's all well and good saying they shouldn't have done it. It's right, they shouldn't. But OP could have lessened their impact on her and her DC and who the hell wouldnt want to do that for themselves? It is not a bad thing to learn how to extract yourself from that sort of a situation without having to summon the cavalry. The cavalry can't always come. Learning how to be assertive enough to just hand over your details and leave would make that situation far less stressful for OP and her child.

Touche, JenLindleyShitMom, that's a fair point. Nonetheless, it's not always so easy when faced with screaming crazies and a small child. I think many people would feel overwhelmed and needing a little support.

(This said, I'm coming from a place of severely high social anxiety and various mental health issues, so it may be my opinion is somewhat on the wonk!)

Hugs to you Aldrin. Some people are unreasonable for the sake of being unreasonable. I had someone drive into my car (in a bicycle) when I was stood stationary at a parking lot. DD in the back seat was already having a melt down and had thrown up over herself. I was waiting for someone pulling out.

I got out of my car to assess the damage and stood next to the window beside DD. A mom walking by decided it was ok to peek into my vehicle and then gave me some advice as to how I should take better care of my child. I did want to tell her that I wouldn't be following her example, but didn't want to scar her kids.

Some people are just rude, unreasonable and self-righteous. You've done the right thing - more than a lot of people would have.

People are more than entitled to be angry and annoyed if someone hits their stationary car. I would have been furious and yes I would expect the person who hit me to pay for the damage in full either settling it with cash or insurance Company.

I wouldn't however go raving off on one. Totally uncalled for. Idiots

It isn't really verbal abuse - ok it's someone or more people being nasty but not abuse really.

next time ignore or minimal contact then drive off

So so sorry to hear your horrible experience. How awful for you. You would have been in your right to call the police as a breech of the peace had taken place. It's a shame no one stepped in to help you. But glad your dh was able to come and help. As you say things happen and you were trying to sort it. Wasn't the end of the world.

Oh my word, if I had been in your situation I would have rung Dh and burst into tears. A group of irate people openly shouting at you and baby should've at least bought a passed by to your aide. Horrible experience, hopefully you can put it behind you quickly

How awful. People do get angry when their car is damaged but that is not an excuse to abuse and bully you. How awful.

That´s awful, OP. Shit happens, and you stopped and tried to sort it like a decent human being. Shouting at you was totally out of order.

I´ve had my car scraped before and managed fairly easily not to hurl abuse. Anyone who thinks it´s justifiable to shout about it needs to give their head a shake.

Hope you´re feeling better.

Not a nice incident, but I don't understand why you prolonged it by getting your baby out of her seat to feed and calling for your dad to come and help

Why didn't you just take photos of the damage to both cars, give your contact details and insurance information and leave?

I've had my car damaged three times in car parks in the last five years!! Each time they tried to wriggle out of it. I think I'd just be grateful someone handed over their insurance details without an argument. Yelling at someone who has a child with them is shit but unfortunately there is no law against it.

People go crazy about their cars and their 'rights' as drivers. I was once at a lovely 40th birthday party at Greenwich Palace when I overheard someone say 'I mean it's outrageous, I am going to contact the European Court of Human Rights, I should have been able to find somewhere to park'. Seriously? Cars turn people insane.

Yes you had an accident. You did not leave the scene of an accident, you stopped when you realised. It had nowt to do with this women so she had committed a section 5 public order offence. You were that distressed and alarmed you couldn't think straight. Moreover yourchildren were distressed. Whether you chose to pursue is a matter for you. You could report it and ask the officers to give her some advise regarding her conduct.
Now to the other matter.... If your on mums net then you either are a mother or hope to be a mother I would assume. So ladies can I also assume that we have all been caught off guard, had to deal with distressed kids and needed to rely on those significant others in our lives, whether they be 'menfolk' or not. This woman has had an awful day, she came for advice not a bitching about women's lib!

For the record I am 9yrs ex forces, and a retired cop, mother of two, all round 'get on with it type of girl'. Even I need support at times!

Finally, you could just put it down to experience, acknowledge she is just a horrible cow and take a glass of wine and a bar of dairy milk - both large! ❤️

That's horrible. They are a bunch of bullies verbally barracking a lone female with a baby. Calling the police after the event is more difficult. Ideally if you'd called them at the time and said you felt frightened these fuckwits may well have been given s warning for threatening behaviour. I'm glad you were able to call your DH to assist. Hopefully you can put his to one side now and put it down to total arse holes.