Absolutely fuming

[AldrinJustice]

Only posting on here for traffic.

Parked up in a car park and the owners of the car in question had seen me return to the car on my own with a baby on my hip so they obviously could see who was driving it. Was in the car with DD (14month old) Scraped someone's car as I was leaving the car park, owner of car was standing having a chat next to the car with his sister and bro in law. I didn't notice as I left, only noticed the whole family's reaction so I stopped not far from them and got out.

Immediately I realised what had happened and went over to the damage (had to leave DD in car seat) but - and this is what has me angry - the whole family, so that includes owner of car, his sister and her husband start yelling and shouting at me before I've even had a chance to say anything. It was a small scratch to the back bumper of his car.

I apologised yet his sister carries on her Tyrade of verbal abuse, saying horrible things like don't you use your mirrors, are you stupid, and some crap about how I drive a car worth £2k I told the owner to tell her to stop because I'm trying to talk to him and she's getting involved, and the owner says "no, I'm not saying it, you tell her" - all this is happening while my DD is in the other side of the car crying because of the shouting, they can all see her But don't stop. Owner of car wants my details but I said I'll take photos first.

Got back into the car, calmed DD down, called up dad and DH to come help, obviously am shaken at this point. Got back out to take photos but DD started crying again so I take her out on my hip while trying to take photos, family standing there just watching me, owner of car sneers at me and says "did you call the police or something" then laughs.

I finish taking my photos and sit in the drivers seat with DD on my lap and the door open, DH calls me and I answer but then spent the whole phonecall arguing with owners sister who feels like she has to start on me again shouting crap at me about my observation skills! I had to shout back at her this time to tell her to piss off as it's not her car, not her concern, I'm talking to the owner not her.

I've apologised, I stopped, I was going to give my details, I even offered to pay for the damage if they got a quote from the garage, yet again all that was happening was this arsehole of a woman can see I'm on my own with a baby but decides to make this whole ordeal harder for me. Accidents happen. Shit happens. I just do not understand it.

I'm now trying to feed DD a fruit pot as she's roaring hungry, has a dirty nappy but I couldn't change her. DH and dad arrive and DH gets out the car and asks who was shouting, at this point, sister and her husband get into their own car and drive off. Absolute cowards! Dad starts taking photos while DH starts arguing with the owner of the car about why they were all shouting at me but owner now wants to talk about the car and the damage!

Anyway we have exchanged details but is it a bit silly to report this altercation as verbal assault to the police? If I had my DH or someone else with me or at least not had DD with me then at least I wouldn't have been so shaken up but I was on my own and they were a family of 4 adults. I followed the relevant procedure for a RTA and it's not like I drove off. I just don't know what to do I'm so angry and so upset that this has happened. The damage to the cars isn't even a concern anymore like I said I would pay or go through insurance but I'm more upset about how they've gone and spoken to me about the whole thing. The car park was packed so plenty of witnesses but didn't get anyone's contact numbers for statements.

I'm sorry I don't know where I'm going with this post I'm just so upset. Now I have to find out what route's the best to take to deal with the damage but I don't even know where to start with that

It all looks suspect to me, my inner 'Miss Marple' wonders why in this weather when its freezing outside would anyone be stood outside a car having a chin wag

I stood outside having a chat to a friend I saw today.

The world doesn't stop for a few months every year because it gets colder.

..and don't offer anyone money to fix repairs , leave it to the insurance company.

Maybe you didn't even cause the scratch? I'm willing to bet they'll put in a huge claim now.
I went into the back of a car recently and there was a small dent in the back of the car. The driver later claimed there was a laptop and a set of golf clubs in the boot that were damaged beyond repair.

This is very like another case where the driver had NOT touched the adjacent car. OP was not aware she had scraped the car. I would think that you would hear and feel something. All the abuse seems very intimidating. I would be suspicious of a scam. Does the carpark have CCTV? A claim will affect your premiums and No Claim bonus.

Oh, look at all the perfect drivers coming out the woodwork. We're so great, blahfuckingblah...

Someone drove into me coming out of a side road, totalled my car and injured me. I didn't go out screaming at her because I'm not an arsehole. Not like it was delibrate, accidents happen.

I've also been rear-ended twice and have managed to stay calm throughout, and even to graciously accept the other drivers' apologies. People that fly off the handle and get all aggressive about this sort of thing are ridiculous. The car will get fixed at the expense of the person who's at fault. End of story. No need for shouting, abuse, etc.

Honestly, you should have just handed over your details and left.

How could it have been a "hit and run" if they had your insurance details?

The whole thing sounds insanely dramatic from you and them. The shouting, the swearing, the starving baby with the fruit pot, calling for reinforcements and them being cowards because your big bad husband arrived...

You hit the car, you kept driving. Eventually stopped. All that was required was a quick exchange of details and a quick photo of the damage if you wanted it and that's it!

Is there a mark on your car?

Take photos, give details, leave. Your husband is as bad as they are, so you really can't complain about them verbally abusing you.

You did the right thing under difficult circumstances. Having a young child and being on your own makes you feel very vulnerable.

They were all being dreadful and there was no need for it.
Just forget we're not worth it.

I have been on both sides of this situations - I have been the person who accidentally caused damage to another car, and I have been the person whose car was accidentally damaged. In the first instance I waited by the car until the owner came back, offered my apologies and my details, and, in due course, paid for the repairs. The gentleman who owned the car was perfectly polite, felt no need to abuse me or let anyone else abuse me, and was grateful that I had owned up to an accident no-one had witnessed.

When my car was damaged, the other driver made sure they spoke to me, apologised, and offered to pay for any repairs - and contrary to what Alexa thinks, I was not angry. I managed not to scream abuse at anyone.

To Alexa I would say this. Even if you believe that it is normal to be furious if someone causes minor damage to your car (and I don't think it is that abnormal to be cross) - surely you cannot believe that it is acceptable for a number of people (not the car's owner) to scream abuse at another person, who,is on their own, with a distressed child? Especially when that person had stopped, apologised, offered her details, and was willing to pay for the repairs?

How can anyone think that the abuse dished out to the OP was in any way excusable or acceptable?

that's appalling! when I wrote off my car I rear ended someone. I got out the car took one look and burst into tears of shock and the first thing the other driver did was give me a massive hug!!

Just because some of you don't understand that does not mean people are unreasonable to be furious when their car is pranged

No, sorry Alexa, it's not reasonably to be 'furious' when your car is pranged. I would be furious if someone was driving dangerously, e.g. speeding and pranged my car or otherwise caused an accident. I would also be furious if someone pranged my car and did not stop and leave details. The first one because of the danger they were causing and the risk for serious injury, the second because of the financial loss to me. I would not be furious if someone accidentally scraped my car in a car park, admitted liability and provided me with their insurance details. What on earth do you have to be furious about? It's not like you will pay for it.

That said, I can understand if they were a bit snarky because it sounds like they thought you were trying to do a runner. But that does not warrant shouting or being abusive.

I got out the car took one look and burst into tears of shock and the first thing the other driver did was give me a massive hug!!

Bless them. Someone rear-shunted me a couple of years ago and the poor girl was shaking like a leaf. As if I would have shouted at her- I immediately told her not to worry and just write down insurance details. It was an accident. There are too many entitled, nasty people in this world who seem to think they are incapable of making mistakes themselves and want to put the boot in when someone is already vulnerable.

I wouldn't call the police now, but if it happened to me I would have got into my car and drove away to the nearest police station to report the accident and leave my insurance details there.

I would have told the police the driver and his passengers were overly heated, shouting abuse and you felt intimidated along with your baby, obviously wanted to leave your details but they wouldn't let you. The police would have no problem with this.

Take photos. Sit in your car with the doors locked, ignoring their verbal abuse, write your insurance/contact info down, give it to them and leave if your car is driveable. Where I am police have to be notified of any damage over a certain dollar amount so most minor prangs get reported, but you can go to a local police station to do that you don't need to call police out to the scene.

This ended up being more of a drama than it needed to be. Any driver should know what to do if there's an accident. If there were no injuries I only wouldn't stay and exchange details if I was being physically threatened and felt in danger - in that case I'd go to the nearest police station and report the whole thing, but that's not what happened here.

Op that's a horrid horrid experience. Recently I returned to my car to find a lady leaving me a note with her details as she had scraped my car. Amazingly I managed to be very nice to her and we exchanged details. Job done. I don't expect to get away with being abusive when someone has caused a very minor accident.
I would report it to the police.

Thank you all for your replies, just reading the posts on here has made me feel a lot calmer. Just never been in an accident let alone an accident when everything seems to go wrong at the same time. No I saw the scrape, it had my car paint on it, there's a mark on mine too. I'll wait for the insurance and see what they say.

I've been hit from behind 3 times. All times were due to driver carelessness. The first two times I was really calm and actually didn't even take insurance details off them because there were only two small marks on my bumper. (Didn't realise until I got home after the first incident that my boot was jammed shut) The third time it happened I was pissed because I was fed up with being on the receiving end of bad driving. So it will have shown in my face when speaking with the woman but my words were "look, accidents happen, no-one is hurt, don't worry about it." I still didn't take her details as there was no mark at all. All this despite my first ever incident involved me being the careless one and running into the back of someone and Being screeched at and even stalked to my place of work by her daughter. it's entirely possible to be pissed off at getting your car hit. (Especially if it's not the first time) It's not okay to verbally abuse someone for doing it.

Ifailed- you're completely wrong. As other posters have pointed out there's no such thing as "verbal assault."

A "common assault" can be committed if there's threat of immediate violence. What op is describing is a public order act offence at the very most

Of course they shouldn't have shouted at you. They don't even have the excuse that they were frightened or hurt. They were completely unreasonable and aggressive. And cowardly to stop when two men joined you.

I looked it up and it appears threatening words and behaviour are an offence so you could report them to the police. researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/SN05760/SN05760.pdf

Not sure it's worth it but the police would tell you the answer to that.

Someone drove into my parked car a couple of months ago. She was trying to park nose to nose and hit the accelerator instead of the brake.

The poor old dear was really shaken up. i'm normally a hot-head but I took photos while DH exchanged details and, after making sure she was ok, we left.

Her parting shot was "Have a good rest-of-your-day. If you can after what I just did"

I'm really glad we kept calm, pleasant and polite as losing our collective rags wouldn't made the accident unhappen. I'm also glad she hit my car and not a person.

"hmm I stood outside having a chat to a friend I saw today.

The world doesn't stop for a few months every year because it gets colder."

Piglet. - you stopped to chat to a friend the operative word being friend!

I didn't say the world stopped, nor do I think it, but I don't see any point in standing around getting cold if I don't need to therefore,

I don't stand around in carparks chatting to my relatives I invite them home for coffee and cake, or head to the nearest cafe, at worst we'll sit in the car .. unless I was waiting for some poor unexpecting woman to 'prang' my car

I agree there's no need to massively aggressive to people who prang your car, but I can't say I'm as gracious and forgiving as other posters here saying they'd never be cross with anyone who pranged them and 'what does it matter, it's only a car' etc'.

Yes accidents do happen, but I've been rear ended twice in the last year by people driving v carelessly. Both times it's been sorted through insurance, but both incidents took a huge amount of time, stress, effort and chasing on my part (dealing with insurance companies and garages, etc) to get sorted.

So having been through all that, if someone scraped my car in a car park now I would probably be a bit shirty with them to be honest.